Wednesday, 19 November 2008

You See It's Too Much To Ask For And I Am Not The Doctor

First of all, THANK YOU for all your comments and suggestions.

Secondly, umm, please may I have some more suggestions?

Am still itchy.

Since yesterday's post I:

showered in tepid water instead of my usual so-hot-it-burns-your-skin water (this resulted in me being cold and itchy)

tried to explain to the pharmacist why I didn't want to take anti-histamines and could she PLEASE JUST SUGGEST SOMETHING THAT DOES THE SAME THING AS ANTI-HISTAMINES WITHOUT MAKING ME LOOPY (this resulted in me being frustrated and itchy)

barely succeeded in not biting off the pharmacist's head when she said "Oh so you want the maaaaagic pills then?" (this resulted in me being shouty and itchy)

spent another $10 on anti-itch LIES, bringing my grand total to $75 spent on this rash (this resulted in me being broke and itchy)

discovered new rashy bits in the creasy part of my ears (this resulted in me being sad and itchy)

So to summarize: I AM ITCHY.

Just to clarify, pityriasis rosea is kind of like eczema in that it's dry, rashy skin but it's also not like eczema in that it's thought to be caused by a virus whereas eczema is an allergic reaction to something (oh hi, I'm the ideal employee who spent 19 hours on google yesterday instead of working.) So even though I'm slathering on various cremes and lotions and using fragrance-free earth-friendly (so I'm assuming human-friendly) laundry detergent, there's really nothing I can except wait out the rash and try to manage the itchiness.

Oh hey, funny story. Did I tell you how long I would be waiting out the rash? Six to eight weeks. Isn't that a riot? I get to be itchy and disgusting for six to eight weeks! And that's just the average. Pityriasis rosea has been known to last for up to fourteen weeks (it's also been known to last for as few as four weeks but this is my blog and if I want to be bitchy and fatalistic, damn it I will.)

Right. So this is completely unrelated, but does anyone have a nice lemon shortbread recipe they want to share? I want to make lemon shortbread for Christmas but I've never made shortbread before and I'm scared to screw it up. I need a foolproof recipe, please and thanks!


  1. Oh god. I feel awful for you. And not just because when I read about an itch, I itch. But largely because of that.

  2. I agree with Ben. Your blog is starting to make my skincrawl. I'm scratching like a mofo over here. For all of our sake, and yours of course, feel better soon. Dammit.

  3. Jesus, seriously?

    Then honestly I vote for drinking. Lets do a pledge drive and have your partially sedated until it goes away.

    I'll run the damn thing! This sounds terrible!

  4. Holy Shit, Hills--I hope it starts to get better soon. Did you by any chance get a flu shot this year? I got one last year and I got this reaction all over my stomach and one little patch on a boob. Turns out I had some sort of allergy to the eggs the vaccine was harvested(?) in. It went away after about a month or so and the itching kept getting more manageable. I concur with whoever recommended Gold Bond medicated itch cream. It might not work right away but it builds the anti-itch...

    I don't have a lemon shortbread recipe, but Ina Garten's Lemon Poundcake (with Blueberry topping) kicks a bit of ass. If you want the recipe, let me know.

    My captcha is rearsi. That's how captcha has diagnosed your itch: Hillary has rearsi.

  5. Oh Damn! I'm sorry to hear about that. My cousin has something very similar, but she keeps it under control by smoking her body weight in pot... Shes a bit of a looser. don't be like my cousin.

    Honestly reading that post made me itchy...

  6. did you recently change laundry detergent? i am sure someone already suggested that as a possibility.

    i worked with this weird dude at my last job and he put apple cider vinegar on his rash. it's cheap. what do you have to lose?

  7. Did you try the calamine lotion or hydrocortizone cream? Or bathing in oatmeal?
    I get eczema, but nothing that bad. I also have weird behind-the-ears rash...

  8. I hope you find a solution for the itch soon. And a sarcastic pharmacist? Ugh.

    I've never made shortbread, but I would like to EAT some lemon shortbread. Heh.

  9. I say you sue someone for giving you this itch and then retire on the profits, paying some hot male servants to scratch you when you itch.

  10. First, go back to the pharmacist and smack her.

    Then go back home and try soaking in baking soda (or did you try that already?). I found this online:
    Do you have any of those? (gross pictures by the way so just a warning)

    As for the lemon shortbread I found this recipe online:

    I really hope you get better soon!!!

  11. Yikes man, that is awful. I hope your itchiness goes away soon. You don't take sleeping pills by any chance do you? I had a friend who used to take Ambien, and she got really itchy after awhile. When she stopped taking the pills, it went away.

    Good luck!

  12. I have a nice non-lemon shortbread recipe... maybe you could just toss in some yellow Life Savers?

  13. i don't know if it helps, but The Boy's p.r. only lasted about 2 weeks. i am sending BRIEF BRIEF rashy thoughts your way!!

    uh, wait. i don't want to be sending any rashy thoughts your way. you know what i mean :-)