Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Too Much Red Meat And Ale

Jive Turkey tagged me for a "Six Quirky Things" meme last week and I'm just getting around to doing it now. Because that's one of my "things" - I'm effing lazy. I'm very Type A though, so I'm a bit mixed up all the time. I'm organised and OCD and a tad bit crazy, but also really freaking lazy. Try to figure that one out.

It is just occurring to me that I've already done a Quirky meme. Now I have to think of six additional crazy, erm quirky, things about myself. This will result in me revealing eleven quirky things about myself and then no-one will want to be friends with me because I am so crazy. Gah.

Oh hey, that's my second thing. I worry ALL THE TIME. About the stupidest things. For example, Shawn's brother was dogsitting Stella on Monday because his Mom was going out of town and we were still in Montreal. His brother was also installing our new tv. Sunday night I couldn't sleep because I was convinced that Shawn's brother wouldn't install the new tv properly and it would fall off the wall at the exact time that Stella was walking underneath it and we would come home to a flat-as-a-pancake puppy. I wish I was kidding. I got so worked up and guess what? The tv is still on the wall. Stella is still 3-D. Life is good.

3 - I cannot eat food court meat. I am not a vegetarian. I am not a picky eater. My list of things that I will not eat is pretty short. I am so disgusted by food court meat that I'm pretty sure you could classify it as a phobia. Foodcourtmeataphobia. The thought of food court meat grosses me out beyond comprehension.

4 - I hate it when people can hear me pee. (This doesn't apply at home, where I pee with the door open because I am too lazy to close the door. Eh, I'm married now. Who do I have to impress?) Our office space is a large, open-concept area that encompasses the entire floor of the building. This means that instead of having the bathrooms that are removed from the offices, like on other floors, our bathrooms are right in the middle of the working area. Yes, there are walls but they are flimsy walls and some of the ceiling tiles are missing. Everyone can hear everything that goes on in the office bathrooms. This shouldn't bother me, seeing as I work with eleven men and only one other woman (okay it should bother me, but for different reasons than what I'm talking about right now) but it does. I get performance anxiety. I realise this is completely ridiculous and I can't believe I'm even writing about it. I've got two more quirky things to come up with though, so it stays.

5 - I am generally a pretty decent speller but I have never been able to remember if it's field or feild. I know the "i before e" rule, thank you. It doesn't matter. I type field, it looks silly. I type feild, it doesn't look right. Thank you spellcheck. Without you I'd be spelling it feeld.

6 - I want laser eye surgery but I am too afraid to get it. I have had glasses or contacts since I was twelve years old. That's thirteen long years of not being able to see when I wake up in the morning. Thirteen years worth of contacts, contact solution, glasses, glass cases, etc. The cost of laser eye surgery is nothing compared to the cost of another fifty years of contacts, contact solution, etc. I have the means to get the surgery now. I just don't have the balls to do it. It's not even the surgery or the risk of blindness or anything like that. It's the thought of willingly putting eye drops in my eyes. I CAN'T DO IT. When I was a kid, I got eye infections all the time. I'm blaming it on weak genes but honestly, I was just a dirty kid. I hated to wash. Anyway, eye infections. Right. So I used to get eye infections and my doctor would prescribe this nasty, gummy, paste-type medication. I was a scrawny kid and yet it still took both my parents to get that shit in my eyes. One would hold me down on the bed and the other would try to aim the Vaseline-consistency nastiness into my eye. They'd finally succeed and then I'd cry it all out. So we'd start again. I am so traumatised from the experience.

So I'm supposed to tag some people to do this but I kind of hate doing memes. I'm hoping that by not tagging anyone I'm earning some meme karma. Hear that, universe? I'm not tagging anyone.
Do it if you want to, just link back here so I get some credit.


  1. Oh, crazy, little're nuts. But I still love ya.

    (P.S. I mailed out the vanilla beans today!!!! AHHH!!! Pigs are flying!!!)

    I WAS GOING TO GET LASIK but then SOMEONE said that they didn't recognize me without my glasses and it freaked them out! (Just kidding. Actually, out of all the people I know who have had the surgery, about 75% say the would do it again. That's not enough for me.)

  2. I had Lasik three years ago, after dealing with contacts and glasses for far too long.

    I often forget I ever even had to wear them. I have not regretted it for a minute!

  3. Oh my god, I totally hear ya on the eye fears. I've been wearing glasses for 15 years now, and hate things coming near my eyes, so have never gotten contacts. Plus, my eyes are super tiny, so glasses help magnify them and make them look bigger.

    I too have the means to get the laser surgery, but I'm too freaked out of things coming at my eyes, and the fact that there's a freaking laser (said in an Austin Powers voice) pointing at me. LOL. Yes, I am officially insane.

  4. Oh part of me wants Lasik too but I'm way too much of a wuss to go ahead and do it. Something about being awake is what's too difficult.

  5. I'm terrified of Lasik. I had my cervix lasered, I should be able to handle my EYE...except not at all.
    I've also heard it only lasts x number of years though?
    Also, on your way to Horseshoe Bay in West Van, there is an area called caulFEILD. pronounced caulFIELD though.
    Totally confusing and I make fun of it every time I pass it.

  6. ok so that whole type a paragraph? totally about ME to a t. we have to meet someday - we'll either love each other or want to kill each other.

    that whole lasik thing freaks me out. i know some people who are back in contacts/glasses after having it done years ago. personally, i'd rather spend that money on some fabulous boobs. no one notices your coke bottle glasses if you have really nice knockers, right?

  7. Yay! You did it! I'm sorry I didn't realize you hated memes when I tagged you. I am charming like that.

    The 'people hearing you pee' thing reminds me of a story I read once on someone's blog (and I can't for the life of me remember which one) about a girl who temped in an office with a similar bathroom situation as yours, where everyone could hear her business. So one day she thought it would be HILARIOUS to go in there and make a bunch of disgusting noises to make everyone laugh. But when she emerged from the bathroom, everyone was pointedly ignoring her. They thought she had really made those noises, like, WITH HER ASS. And there was really no explaining the situation without looking like a total liar, so she just had to live with it. HA! Awesome (and painful).

  8. I've worn glasses since 2nd grade, and in 8th grade I switched to contacts. I too, want the surgery, and I too, can't put eyedrops in. I have to put a drop on my finger and then bring the finger to my eye.

    If I had somebody else around, I could let them put eye drops in my eyes the normal way.

  9. Over-Thinker: Completely crazy. I don't deny it. The vanilla beans are mythical creatures to me. I won't believe their existence until I can hold them in my hands.

    Angella: This is exactly what I need to hear!

    Sharon: I love it! A freaking laser!

    Bayjb: The inability to blink is what freaks me out. YOU CAN'T LOOK AWAY!

    Meg: I love Caulfeild.

    Jess: I'm pretty sure we will love each other. And if we don't? We'll drink a jug of mojitos and fake it.

    JiveTurkey: That is so hilarious and awkward all at the same time!

    Green: I know! I can't ask my parents to come over and help me put the drops in my eyes ... or can I?

  10. I totally can't pee if I think other people can hear me either. And, I used to think it was an irrational fear of mine (I have lots)...but now that I know someone from a whole different country feels the same way, maybe I'm not so odd! Random that I"m telling this to a complete stranger.

  11. I'm with you on the pee thing... and your eye trauma sounds similar to my ear drop days. I actually BIT MY MOM'S THIGH when she had to put drops in my perforated eardrum. That shit stung. Oh, and by the way. I was 18. Heh...