Too Much Red Meat And Ale

Jive Turkey tagged me for a "Six Quirky Things" meme last week and I'm just getting around to doing it now. Because that's one of my "things" - I'm effing lazy. I'm very Type A though, so I'm a bit mixed up all the time. I'm organised and OCD and a tad bit crazy, but also really freaking lazy. Try to figure that one out.

It is just occurring to me that I've already done a Quirky meme. Now I have to think of six additional crazy, erm quirky, things about myself. This will result in me revealing eleven quirky things about myself and then no-one will want to be friends with me because I am so crazy. Gah.

Oh hey, that's my second thing. I worry ALL THE TIME. About the stupidest things. For example, Shawn's brother was dogsitting Stella on Monday because his Mom was going out of town and we were still in Montreal. His brother was also installing our new tv. Sunday night I couldn't sleep because I was convinced that Shawn's brother wouldn't install the new tv properly and it would fall off the wall at the exact time that Stella was walking underneath it and we would come home to a flat-as-a-pancake puppy. I wish I was kidding. I got so worked up and guess what? The tv is still on the wall. Stella is still 3-D. Life is good.

3 - I cannot eat food court meat. I am not a vegetarian. I am not a picky eater. My list of things that I will not eat is pretty short. I am so disgusted by food court meat that I'm pretty sure you could classify it as a phobia. Foodcourtmeataphobia. The thought of food court meat grosses me out beyond comprehension.

4 - I hate it when people can hear me pee. (This doesn't apply at home, where I pee with the door open because I am too lazy to close the door. Eh, I'm married now. Who do I have to impress?) Our office space is a large, open-concept area that encompasses the entire floor of the building. This means that instead of having the bathrooms that are removed from the offices, like on other floors, our bathrooms are right in the middle of the working area. Yes, there are walls but they are flimsy walls and some of the ceiling tiles are missing. Everyone can hear everything that goes on in the office bathrooms. This shouldn't bother me, seeing as I work with eleven men and only one other woman (okay it should bother me, but for different reasons than what I'm talking about right now) but it does. I get performance anxiety. I realise this is completely ridiculous and I can't believe I'm even writing about it. I've got two more quirky things to come up with though, so it stays.

5 - I am generally a pretty decent speller but I have never been able to remember if it's field or feild. I know the "i before e" rule, thank you. It doesn't matter. I type field, it looks silly. I type feild, it doesn't look right. Thank you spellcheck. Without you I'd be spelling it feeld.

6 - I want laser eye surgery but I am too afraid to get it. I have had glasses or contacts since I was twelve years old. That's thirteen long years of not being able to see when I wake up in the morning. Thirteen years worth of contacts, contact solution, glasses, glass cases, etc. The cost of laser eye surgery is nothing compared to the cost of another fifty years of contacts, contact solution, etc. I have the means to get the surgery now. I just don't have the balls to do it. It's not even the surgery or the risk of blindness or anything like that. It's the thought of willingly putting eye drops in my eyes. I CAN'T DO IT. When I was a kid, I got eye infections all the time. I'm blaming it on weak genes but honestly, I was just a dirty kid. I hated to wash. Anyway, eye infections. Right. So I used to get eye infections and my doctor would prescribe this nasty, gummy, paste-type medication. I was a scrawny kid and yet it still took both my parents to get that shit in my eyes. One would hold me down on the bed and the other would try to aim the Vaseline-consistency nastiness into my eye. They'd finally succeed and then I'd cry it all out. So we'd start again. I am so traumatised from the experience.

So I'm supposed to tag some people to do this but I kind of hate doing memes. I'm hoping that by not tagging anyone I'm earning some meme karma. Hear that, universe? I'm not tagging anyone.
Do it if you want to, just link back here so I get some credit.