Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Black Rum, Sugar Cane Dry Ice, Somethin' Strange

Remember last week how I was all "I want to be a runner! I'm going to run places and get fit and have a cute little runner's bum!"? How times have changed. This week, my refrain goes a little like this, "I'm so brooooken. I'm a cripple! I'll never walk properly again."

It's all Stella's fault. She's always under foot. Usually I think it's funny because she's tripping other people. People who don't expect a freaking dog to act like a cat (you know, all twisty through your legs, trying to get attention.) Except that when it happens to me, it's not so funny. When it happens to me, not only do I trip - I trip and kick my foot out and hit the corner of the coffee table. I hit my Achilles on the coffee table. You know, the thing that makes you walk properly? Well when you bruise it SEVERELY, you don't walk properly. In fact, you walk kind of fucked up. And you cry a lot. And then, when the bruising and swelling spreads to the front of your leg (wtf is that?) you go to the walk-in clinic (because you are still contemplating breaking up with your doctor, but you haven't found a new doctor yet, and whoa boy, that is another story altogether) and the doctor there won't prescribe you the good stuff, like you were hoping, but instead gives you a physio referral. Physio that you can't afford. So hi, my name is Hillary and I NEED A CANE.


  1. See, and this is where I get confused because I thought all this stuff would be paid for under the Canada health care system. However, I have heard that not everything is covered but it still confuses me.

    I say you come to my dentist with me and get all your wisdom teeth extracted and he'll give you groovy pain meds like he's going to give me and then we'll drink milkshakes until we explode.

  2. J: Canada's health care is not as free as everyone seems to think it is. We pay $54 a month for basic health care. Meaning that I can go to a general practitioner or a hospital and I won't be charged. Anything that is beyond basic care (physiotherapist, chiropractor, optometrist, etc) we have to pay a fee for. If you have extra insurance, some of the fees are covered. I do have extra insurance through my job, but it's silly extra insurance that doesn't pay for physio but will pay for private hospital rooms if I'm ever in the hospital.

    My wisdom teeth were extracted about 7 years ago, otherwise I would totally take you up on your offer.

  3. thanks for pointing out the canadian health care differences...many americans think it's free up there!

    put up your foot, have a cocktail or seven.

  4. i have:

    a) two pairs of crutches
    b) two very good ankle braces
    c) one less sturdy ankle brace
    d) a foot cast
    e) various little sockies to wear under braces and casts
    f) lots of tape, gauze, and moleskin

    ....in case any of that will help. i'm, uh, good at injuring everything below the knee.

  5. Buggery Wankerrific, Hills.

    I know your pain on this one. But I can do you one better (what the hell does that mean, anyhow?) b/c I actually ripped my Achilles in high school track. Worst WORST pain. I didn't get the good stuff either. I just got crutches that wore off my armpit hair. Neat-o.

    Give up running and come back to the darkside of Slothville. We have SO much more fun than runners.

  6. That sucks. And blows.

    Your cane is in the mail ;)

  7. oh gosh I hope your leg feels better! You should definitely get crutches b/c then people will be nice to you all the time.

    yes-- my priorities are skewed.

  8. Screw the crutches, get a wheelchair!

  9. well maybe you could decorate your cane all fun like?!

  10. Ahh! You poor thing! I hope the foot gets better soon.

    I guess health care sucks all around?

  11. You need a second dog. A dog big enough to pull a very small chariot for you during your period of infirmity.

    Also, I understand that Purdy's will help solve all problems. At least that is what I was raised to believe.

  12. Jess: I'm not going to lie - cocktails contributed to me tripping over Stella. She's not completely at fault.

    Alice: You = hilarious

    Over-Thinker: I know, right? It's like a sign from god.

    Angella: Totally sucks. I feel very sorry for myself.

    Maxie: Ha! My friend had a cane and she kept using it after she didn't need to because she liked hitting people with it.

    Meg: I like the way you think.

    Alexa: like with streamers?

    Marie: Don't get me wrong - Canadian healthcare isn't perfect but from what I hear, it's miles ahead of Amerivan healthcare.

    Qtilla: YES! Just - yes.

  13. Oh jeez! I'm sending you a cane. With stickers on it because a cane isn't a cane without pretty stickers.