Thursday 18 September 2008

Shoot The Runner

I went for a run last night. It's been a long time since I've gone for a sweaty, lose your breath, feel like you're going to die, run. About, oh, a month ago I bought some new running gear with the logic being that if I spent $150 on running pants and a running bra, I would feel guilty enough about the money spent to actually use them. Clearly that worked out really well for me, seeing as last night was the first time I've actually worn them.

My running pants have a tiny little pocket in the waistband. What is this pocket for? It's about credit card-sized, so I was thinking it might be for id. But how uncomfortable would that be? Also, don't hardcore runners write their name and phone number in their shoe? I put dog treats in the little pocket but then I forgot about them and Stella scared the crap out of me later on, when I was dying on the couch, because I thought she was trying to eat my stomach.

We live in a very hilly area. As I was on my way up what felt like the eightieth hill of the night, I decided that Shawn and I need to move to the Prairies. Enough of this mountainous region shite. We need to live somewhere flat so I don't die when I go on my one run of the year.

I don't think I'm cut out to be a runner. I think I may have dislocated my ass cheeks. Don't ask me to describe it, because I can't. All I know is that my ass cheeks were moving independently of the rest of my body whenever I was running downhill.

Today? I hurt. I was two hours late for work this morning. I told my boss it was because I woke up with a migraine but really it was because I couldn't move my legs. Do people do this for fun?

19 comments:

  1. *hangs head in shame* Yes, do that for fun.

    Though, running pants with secret pockets are a dream. At least for me. I put my keys in it.

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  2. well that's what they say they're having... i think it's all a huge lie to get me to try running. again. i'm pretty sure i can walk and dance my fat arse off. (ballroom and ballet, there's enough injuries there. sheesh.)

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  3. Yup, I'm one of those people who run for fun as well.

    It does hurt when you're starting out, but trust me - the pain does lessen if you keep it up!

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  4. Trust me-I know what the ass cheeks feel like. I started running a little over a year ago and I have a marathon on Oct 19th that I'm trying to complete. It seems like every other run that my ass cheeks are sore. I don't get it.

    I do enjoy running more-now that I've done it more.

    Good luck!

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  5. I've tried getting into running. Several times. Did the whole clothes investment thing too. It's not working so well for me.

    I'm more of a walking person.

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  6. i haaate running! i know that ass feeling! i don't get why people enjoy this!!

    my pants have that little pocket too. i always figured it was for a key, but i hardly ever run outside. i prefer nice, easy, treadmills :-)

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  7. I am cracking up about your description of your run...sorry you hurt. I don't understand why people like running. It's awful. I usually have a similar result when I try to do it, so you are not alone!

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  8. I'm slowly getting back into running. I used to be a long-distance runner, but then I worked my way down to nothing. Today, I ran for about 35 minutes with my dog at lunch. I love it. Then again, I run in flat Chicago. I'd probably die if I had a hill to contend with (funny: I wrote hell first).

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  9. And this is why I chose to live a sedentary lifestyle.

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  10. Used to run. HATE running now. In addition to my butt dislocating, my boobs also dislocate. And then I die.

    But I love cupcakes. Does that count?

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  11. I really wish I lived in a flat area. I live in a hilly area too and it's HELL. If I want to run anywhere I have to go up this huge hill beside my house. You know what this means? I never run.

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  12. I use the pocket for my key. But now I have a pouch attached to my shoe for that.
    Good idea about the name & # in the shoes, didn't ever occur to me!
    I do run for fun, but not lately:(

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  13. I also use the pocket for my key. By "use" I mean years ago when I was a skinny bitch and used to run 3 miles every day.

    Now I'm a medium sized bitch and do water aerobics once a week, mostly for the spectacle. Good times.

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  14. I HATE running.
    And I know what you mean about the dislocated ass cheeks.
    Which is why I hate running...

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  15. Oh puppehs...they never miss even the smallest hint of dog treat, do they?

    I've often assumed that Calvin and Theo have had an inappropriate fixation on my crotch.

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  16. I got tickled at your post! I love the way you write. Being one of those people who run for fun, it takes about 3 weeks of running to get past the initial pain. Then it can still lead to some soreness sometimes, but it's like a good kind of sore.. one where you know you did something good for your body.

    And I use the little pocket for my car key or to squeeze an energy gel pack in...

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  17. I *love* running, but my knees can't take it anymore. Am old.

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  18. As a former running-hater you can change. I love it now, I think because I hated it so long now that I can do it successfully makes me love it more.

    A good bra (enell for ample chested me) and good running shoes are my best friends.

    Little pocket could be good for a lot of things- keys, energy gel, money.

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  19. You can be a runner! You just got to get away from those hills, like you said :)

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