I'd Like To Make A Quick Toast

Mmmmmmmm kay? We've been in our new house for a month, maybe he's toasting that. Or maybe, he's just welcoming my cousin who had just arrived for a visit. Maybe he's toasting the new puppy who has been with us for two weeks? I had no idea but my Dad is very good at making toasts so I was looking forward to it. His toast for my graduation last fall actually provided a new name and direction for my blog, No Ordinary Rollercoaster.

So there we sat. The newf (my nontraditional significant other), my parents and brother, and our a few of our favourite relatives. I was mid-chew of a veggie burger, ketchup threatening to drool down the side of my face when he dropped this bomb:

"Today marks an entire year that Ben and the newf have been living together..."

Super. Who cares?

"...making them legally and officially...common-law married."

Whoooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa now. The newf and I exchanged stunned looks. While we have talked about the prospects of having a big gay marriage someday and we're both very committed (a mortgage and two puppies will do that to the best of us) - you need to prepare a guy for the: "Guess what? YOU'RE MARRIED!" toast. At least with a wedding, there's so much build-up that by the time you get there, you're so sick of hearing about it that's it's more like, FINE. Just do the damn thing already! But common-law? That sneaks up on you. Oh - and it doesn't come with an open bar.

We went on with the evening with drinks all round but it wasn't until after the relatives left that I realized that the newf was drunk. This is generally a bad scene since he gets rude-funny when drinking. When there's no one else around? Yeah, it's basically just me and my own crowd of hecklers all in one person. But not this night...

"Let's have a first dance...like at a wedding..."

"Oh dear Jesus..."

"C'mooooooon..."

"You're drunk."

"I will be on our wedding night too so you better get over that."

"..."

"Yay! I'll get a song ready! How about I Hope You Dance? High-five for marriage!"

I chugged my beer in about three seconds flat to try to even the playing field and returned to the kitchen - I mean - our romantic dancefloor. I waited for "the song I'm going to sing to you at our real wedding". Please note: the newf is both tone-deaf and not tied down by things like rhythm, pace or lyrics. I knew it'd be better to just give him a dance and be done with it so I could go to bed at a decent hour.

The newf flashes a mischievous grin and presses play.

The first song? Disturbia, followed by I'm Too Sexy, The Naughty Song, Larger Than Life, and a series of random club bangers for just the two of us, drunk by ourselves, dancing in our kitchen on a Thursday night.

Yeah...I can be married to that.