Tuesday, 19 August 2008

I Asked Him If He Wants A Placemat Or A Wife

My sister left a comment yesterday regarding non-registry gifts. She told me to post a picture of the placemats my crazy aunt made for me and Shawn. Is it malicious to mock gifts? I'm not being mean-spirited, I just think it's funny. These placemats are funny. See for yourself:

really? magenta and teal? what about me says magenta and teal?

I appreciate the time and effort that went into this gift. I appreciate the thought behind it. I just don't think I will ever use these placemats. They make my eyes bleed. It should be noted that this is the third set of placemats my aunt has made for me. Over the years, from my aunt I have received: 30 placemats, 1 table runner, 1 Christmas tree skirt, 1 quilt that folds into a pillow, 1 wall hanging of fish, 1 wall hanging of angels, all made in the same vein. Lovingly sewn with craaaaazy fabric. I can't get rid of them - I would feel too guilty - so they get pushed into a closet that is already bursting at its seams. We live in a small condo. We don't have room to store quilted goods that we will never use.

Since I've already proven myself to be an ungrateful bitch, let's move on to the other gifts I posted about yesterday. The glass balls:

Seriously, what do I do with these? They're very heavy so I thought maybe they're paperweights. They don't have a flat edge though, so they're very rolly. They would be ineffective paperweights.

The platters:

I actually really like these (okay I like two - can anyone guess which ones I dislike?) I just can't find the space for all of them. I feel a bit rotten, considering getting rid of wedding presents. I feel like I'm supposed to love and cherish them all.

In other, less selfish, news, we took Stella to the beach on the weekend. We took Shawn's car, which is a Stella-free zone, so she had to ride in her crate. She was not pleased:

this photo cracks me up - she really was that mad

We went to Spanish Banks, which has a sizeable off-leash area. It's not fenced in though, so I was a bit nervous. Shawn, trusting fool that he is, thought Stella would be fine so he released the beast. She promptly took off down the beach and we spent about ten minutes trying to corral her. She spent the rest of the evening on her leash, pouting because she couldn't join in the game of bocce ball.

in the off-leash area, about 10 seconds before she took off running

even though she was constricted by her leash, she was a happy puppy

We were treated to an amazing sunset. Nights like this really make me miss living downtown.


  1. Does this mean I need to post the hideous table runners we recently got? Since when do I celebrate Christmas anyway. Seriously!

  2. I've always thought to myself that, if I ever get married, I'm not going to register and just let people get whatever they want...after seeing those gifts though, ummm no. Ouch. Placemats? Do people still use those things???

    And Stella...she is so cute!

  3. Maybe you are supposed to hurl the marbles at unsuspecting folks that annoy you.

  4. Nice placemats. Remind me of the sweaters my grandma gives me with women kittens in santa hats or sequined snow flakes. I bet your aunt LOVES those colors.

    When my roommate got married her father-in-law gave them a glass sculptural plate. It is enormous and profoundly ugly. It is awesome.

  5. that picture of shawn & stella is AWESOME :-)

    haaaa. those are definitely some.. uh.. placemats, aren't they. and provide an excelling starting point for visualizing all her other gifts. (an angel wall hanging..? SERIOUSLY?)

  6. Those placemats are AWESOME.

    As is the sunset, but I am being non-sarcastic about the photos :)

  7. It might be white elephant time.

  8. wow your aunt has a lot of time on her hands, haha.

  9. I can't tell you how pleased I am! You're going to love the snack-dip platter set I just sent you that's made out of....wait for it....varnished peacock feathers!!!! I will totally GO with those placemats!! I can't believe how fantastic this is---it's like this gift was totally meant for you.

    P.S. Quit acting like you don't wear magenta/teal eyeshadow combo everyday. You a ho.

    P.P.S. :)

  10. When I was in elementary school, my favorite colors were magenta in teal. Everything i colored was magenta in teal. I grew out of that by...age 10. The placemats, although wonderfully sewn, ARE quite crazy. And the balls? Yeah...maybe they're just decorative? Let's hope Stella doesn't think they're chew toys.

  11. We got the most ridiculous hand made pottery kiddush cup you have ever seen. It had orthodox Jews dancing off the sides of the cup. Not painted on...like actual 3-D dancing Orthodox Jews. I told my mom to give it to charity. She said it was too ugly for that even.

    I couldn't appreciate the photos more. And if you are ungrateful, then so am I and I wouldn't want it any other way.