Monday, 11 August 2008

I Need No Protection From My Bullet-proof Plan

I am such a slacker. The wedding was a week ago and I had Big! Plans! for an awesome recap and instead I've been lazy. Not only have I not been blogging, I haven't been reading blogs either. Which means that my google reader yells at me every time I open it. So I immediately close it and pretend that it doesn't exist. I am getting closer to hitting the magic "mark everything as read" button. Sorry.

So instead of the Spectacular Wedding Recap, you will get bullet points. You will get bullet points and you will like it, buster. There are starving kids in Africa who would loooove to get bullet points and all you do is sit there and complain about how bullet points are boring and taste yucky. Ingrate.

(If any of these bullet points sound intriguing, you can request a real blog post about it and maybe one day I'll elaborate. Or maybe I'll leave you hanging. That's how I roll.)

Things I learned last week:

- making 30 dozen chocolate chip cookies 2 days before your wedding is ridiculous. Even when your big sister helps you.

- when you book a 60 minute massage, more than just your back will be massaged. Which means that you should probably shave your legs unless you want to feel like a gorilla.

- Shawn does not belong in a spa.

- some people cannot be trusted to show up on time. Even when you've told them exactly what time they need to be at your house for the make-up lady you've booked (and are footing the bill for.) In the future, whenever you need those tardy individuals to be somewhere on time, lie about the start-time to create a buffer. If this circumstance is any indication, the buffer should be at least 40 minutes.

- going to your grandma's retirement community before the ceremony to take some pictures is a sweet idea. It's also an f-ing time sucker, which will make you late for everything else. The pictures though, will make it worth it.

left to right: Turtle, Grandma, Westy, moi, Mom, Dad, Bow

Grandma's body may be twisted but she can out-snark anyone

- taking wedding photos in Stanley Park on a sunny holiday Monday is pretty much the worst idea ever. Especially when you have 3 cars of people you have to co-ordinate and find parking for.

- Angella is funny and nice and not scary at all. Also? She can drive a manual car when everyone else is wearing either a giant dress or high heels.

- eating a chocolate chip cookie right before the ceremony = bad idea.

- Tide To Go pens will remove melted chocolate from your wedding dress. Seriously.

- I don't care what anyone says - corn is classy.

- Jalapeno poppers are now a requirement of my life. I would like to eat them every day, please.

- Doing tequila shots at your wedding may seem like a fun thing to do but really? It's a stupid thing to do. Slurring your thank you speech is not classy.

Ok that's it. That's all I've got. I have a tonne of photos to post (and I should get Angella's photos this week so there will be even more.) Right now I am going to go watch the Olympics and die of this stupid summer cold I managed to catch.


  1. You look absolutely beautiful. I would have slurred with you! HAHA.

  2. I left before the REAL fun started!

    I am also craving jalapeno poppers all of a sudden...

  3. I love the shot of you and your family with your grandmother! You look absolutely stunning!

    (Not stunned. See? I'm being nice. I told you I can be nice sometimes.)

  4. I don't know which recap I liked best - that was great.

  5. You have every right in the world to be lazy. C'mon, you just planned a wedding!

    Your bridal glow is amazing. You looked beautiful and really really happy. Isn't that all that matters?!

    And since the wedding is the start to your married life, why not start it fresh. Hit Mark All Read. You'll feel better once you do it.

  6. Sounds like a great time was had by all - I'm so glad it all went well - You looked beautiful!!

  7. Wow! Congratulations! You looked amazing, and best of all, it looks like you really enjoyed yourself!

  8. yay! you look awesome, and you look so HAPPY!! totally awesome. am also impressed with the tide pen's prowess :-)

  9. Looks great! You looked fabulous. Lovely photos.

  10. WOW, your dress is seriously stunning. It makes me want to get married...but I don't actually want to get married, scary! Where did you get it?
    I LOOOOOVE that you took pictures with your Gramma! They are such important people!!!! Your family is all looking very presentable for your wedding, which is a plus also!
    Please elaborate on anything you care to, whenever you get around to it! I'm happy to see you are back!

  11. Yay! It's over! You're married! Yay! Plus, you looked beautiful in your dress, which is always a plus.

  12. That's so cute that you went to the retirement home before hands. I love that idea, however I could also see it being a pain. Great photos!

  13. aw looks like you're wedding was fabulous. love the pictures, the corn one might just be my fave, haha.

  14. those tide to go pens are a must have. i blame it n my kids, but they are really for me.

    you look amazing. you have the glow. i'm happy for you and shawn.

    i'm gonna need a full blog post on the tekillya shots and slurred speech. thanks.

  15. wowzer! you look amazing in that dress. congrats to you on your wedding!

  16. I also insisted on baking chocolate chip cookies for my welcome bags for my wedding - however, this was one of the battles that I let my mother win so that I could win the war :). She insisted I was nuts and we bought them instead. She was smart.

    Sounds amazing. And I did tequila shots too...might be dumb but it's FUN!!!

  17. congratulations on the wedding. beautiful you are, and the wedding too! :)