She's An Inspiration For My Graduation

Stella graduated from puppy school this week. Now she is edumacated. Words cannot express how proud I am. Also? Words cannot express the depth of my dread for the next round of puppy school.

We'd Spend The Whole Weekend Lying In Our Own Dirt

My weekend in pictures:

taking a catnap, before the bandages come off

why I could never be a vegetarian

puppy love

ferocious beast

wedding invitations - almost ready to be mailed out

apple pie with crumbly cheese topping

Unphotographed weekend happenings:

- Westy's team lost, meaning they're out of the running to play in the RBC Cup in Ontario.
- S bought a suit (1 more thing we can cross off the wedding to do list!)
- I did absolutely no studying for my final (oh and I haven't finished the coursework yet either. And the final is on Saturday.)
- S decided that no, he doesn't want to go somewhere tropical for his 30th birthday. He's reverted back to his crazy Alaska idea.

Hey Hey Isn't That Random

Random things that happened last night / today:

Last night I went to the music store to pick up the new Kooks album. They didn't have the 2-disc limited edition in stock though, so I asked the cashier if he could tell me what was different from the 1-disc regular edition. He looked at me like I was the stupidest person he'd even encountered and said (voice dripping with adolescent attitude,) "there's 2 discs." Um, yes, thank you. What I meant was, does the second disc feature live music? acoustic versions of their songs? the Kooks doing covers of other artists' songs? I was curious because I felt like I should buy the 1-disc version because I had specifically driven to the music store to pick it up and by not buying it I would be wasting time / gas / effort. I wanted to know if the 2-disc edition was worth me going to another music store. Anyway, I didn't engage the cashier in any nastiness (though I had a few choice names I wanted to call him,) I just went home and ordered the 2-disc version online.

I did pick up Adele's album last night. She is my new girlfriend. If you don't have this album, go buy it now. You will thank me later.

I just handed in my last paper for the soul-sucking English course. I've still got some coursework left to do and a final to write in 3 weeks, but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Today at work, the lights in our elevator call-buttons were replaced. The old ones weren't burnt out, they were just "too orange." I'm not kidding - that's what the technician said. I asked if perhaps the priority should be fixing the elevator that stops 6 inches below floor level and I got glared at. Seriously though, I have never once thought that the elevator call-button wasn't red enough. I have, however, tripped out of the elevator on multiple occasions because I wasn't expecting a 6-inch step. Everyone in the building avoids that elevator because we're convinced that one day it will free-fall to the basement and kill whoever is riding in it.

Tired Of All This Mad Frustration

I used to love Tuesday nights. Tuesday night meant Gilmore Girls and later, House. Then Gilmore Girls ended and there hasn't been a new episode of House since the writers' strike. Now Tuesday night means puppy school.

I do not love puppy school.

At first I was excited. I thought that Stella would thrive in an environment with other puppies. I thought that she would become more stable and possibly more sedate. Puppy school has not been a positive experience. Stella spends the hour ignoring the instructor, tuning S and me out and straining at her leash to get to the other puppies. We give her a command and she stares at us, eyes full of comprehension and a touch of belligerence. I wave a treat over her nose and tell her to sit. She sighs and sits slowly. I tell her to lie down and she scowls at me, thinking 'F you, F you, F you' in her mind (I'm projecting - this is what I'm thinking when my boss tells me to do something inane. Not that I think I'm Stella's boss; I am quite clear on our relationship and my role in it. If anyone deserves the title of boss in our house, it's definitely Stella.)

Puppy school is frustrating. Stella isn't having fun. S and I are uncomfortable with the instructor's obvious dislike of our puppy and the unspoken judgements of the other puppies' owners. Our puppy is sweet and spirited and comical. She will not win any awards for being best-behaved but if they were handing out awards for most-energetic she would win in a heartbeat. Her energy is what's holding her back in her training (in my humble opinion.) That and her limited attention span. Just watching Stella think is exhausting. My puppy's thought process is a little like this:
Oh! My ball! Do you want to pet me? How about now? Oh! My bone! Hey, did someone fill my food dish when I wasn't looking? *licks bottom of empty food dish* Oh! My ball! Do you want to pet me now? Now? How about now? What's that noise? Oh! My ball!
It's non-stop from 7am until she collapses into a pile of mushy puppy love fifteen hours later.

My puppy is sweet and rebellious and I wouldn't change a thing about her. That's a lie. I would make her stop jumping if I could. It's not so much the jumping up on people I mind (though it is getting old) it's her ongoing attempt to jump up on the kitchen counter. I don't know what she's planning to do if she ever makes it up there but it's scares me (the flooring on one side of the counter is ceramic tiles and on the other side it's hardwood floor - neither provide a soft landing surface for when she wants to jump off the counter.)

Tonight we head to our fourth puppy class. The halfway mark. Give me strength.

I Look At You, You Look At Me, We Bite Each Other

Stella: 2 Maltese: 0

sigh

It's A Jam For The Ladies And The Superstars

Remember last week when I was all "we are going to work Stella's ass off this week with the puppy school homework and next week she is going to be the puppy school star"? Well. Tonight we have puppy school. Have we worked on the puppy school homework yet? Not so much. (And by "not so much" I mean not at all.) Clearly tonight is not going to go as well as we'd hoped. Our plan of attack is to exhaust Stella at the dog park before class.

Also last week, I wrote about Westy's team being up 2-0 in their playoff series. I didn't want to make any predictions, lest I jinx it again. I'm happy to report that they pulled off a 4-0 sweep of Westside and have moved onto the finals. Games 1 & 2 will be played on Friday and Saturday in Penticton. I'm being a bad sister and not driving up to watch - the soul-sucking English course is kind of kicking my ass right now and I need to complete it. I write the exam in a month and then I can forget it ever existed.

We're coming up on the 4-month mark in the countdown to the wedding. I am less stressy this month than last month. Last month I was suffering from a touch of Crazy. We haven't accomplished much in the last month but I'm surprisingly okay with it. I'm not sure if it's me being zen or me being in denial. Either way I'm happy to not be hyperventilating about the wedding (anymore.)

I was having a lot of angst over our wedding favours. I like the idea of giving each guest a token of our appreciation. I don't like the idea of buying a bunch of crap in bulk and having 100 coasters (or keychains or candles, etc.) left over at the end of the night. I wanted the tokens to be something consumable but with more thought involved than chocolates (not that there's anything wrong with chocolates - I just wanted the favours to be homemade and there's no way I'd be able to make chocolates. Also, the wedding is in August and I'm pretty sure if we had chocolate favours they'd melt.) So after much deliberation with Turtle (who has been beyond patient with me through this wedding planning process - lady, you rock!) I decided on jam. We're going to make small pots of jam for each guest to take home. I love this idea for a couple of reasons. First of all, Turtle and Bow have both already volunteered their jam-making skills. Secondly, we can make the jam well in advance and keep it in my mom's pantry (this is assuming I can get myself organized.) Thirdly, we can make cheesy labels that say "Thanks for Jamming with us!" (S is a musician and a lot of his friends are musicians so a portion of the reception will be all the musicians jamming on stage.)

So does anyone have any fabulous jam recipes they'd like to share? I've been searching online but haven't found anything that really jumped out at me. Most of the recipes I've found have flavoured gelatin in them (I'm assuming they mean Jello.) I'd prefer recipes that are just fruit, sugar and pectin (and I think lemon juice is a key jam ingredient but I'm not sure.) I've only ever made freezer jam before; this is my first foray into the canning world. I really hope I don't give all the guests botulism.

Just To Tell You Once Again Who's Bad

Last night was week 2 of puppy school. Stella is now officially the worst dog in the class. Whenever the teacher wants to demonstrate how to react to bad behaviour, she uses Stella as an example. Except that Stella doesn't respond to her methods. Let me paint you a picture of our humiliation:

Teacher wants to show us what to do if your puppy jumps up on you. She brings Stella to the front of the class. Stella immediately starts jumping on her to get at the treats in her hand. Teacher does her "eh eh eh" noise. Stella keeps jumping. Teacher says "off!" in a firm voice. Stella jumps. Teacher yanks on Stella's leash. Stella sits... and then jumps. Teacher stands on Stella's leash. Stella continues to jump even though the leash is constraining her. She's making it half an inch off the ground but still - she jumps. At this point, Teacher tells the class that their dogs would be behaving by now and that Stella is just "being a puggle." Apparently Teacher is biased against puggles because they're known for being difficult. Whatever. Stella's not difficult, she's spirited. She's got character. There's never a dull moment with Stella around.

Which brings me to our next moment of shame. Last night there was a new dog in class, Sophie, an 11-week old Maltese. Sophie is about the size of a guinea pig. She probably weighs 3 lbs and is pretty much a big ball of white fluff. During class, Stella was really interested in Sophie. We thought it was because Sophie was new. It was actually because Stella wanted to eat her. At the end of class we played "pass the puppy." We passed the puppies around the circle, giving each puppy the chance to be petted by someone new. Teacher wants us to have 2000 people touch our puppies by the time they're 2 years old. I have no idea how she expects us to keep track. (Did I mention that Teacher is a bit of a tool? Stella is so disdainful of her. It's pretty funny.) Anyway, we're passing the puppies around, which gives them a bit more freedom. Stella sees this as her opportunity and pounces on Sophie. I really wish I was exaggerating this for comedic effect but I'm not. We had to drag Stella off this poor, traumatized puppy (though what an 11-week old puppy is doing in puppy school is beyond me.) It was mortifying. S thinks that Stella thought Sophie was a chewtoy. She's got a stuffed bunny that's about twice the size of Sophie, so he might be on to something. All I know is that we are going to work Stella's ass off this week with the puppy school homework and next week she is going to be the puppy school star. *feverishly knocking on wood*

All I See Is Mystery And I Obey

Why Stella needs puppy school:

This is what remains of Stella's bed. See the sad, deflated centre of the bed? It used to be full of stuffing. Until Stella decided to eat it:


Stella hiding the evidence:


Sometimes Stella gets a really scary look in her eyes. It's times like this that I know she would eat my face if given the opportunity:

Stella telling us it's time to go for a walk. We don't tell her. She tells us:

Stella giving the evil eye. She gives me this look when she's sick of the camera flash constantly going off in her face:

And this is my sweet puppy givin' the business to the Easter bunny:

This is why we decided to enroll her in puppy school. The first class wasn't too bad. She wasn't the worst puppy in the class but she certainly wasn't the best. She has this adorable habit of vocalizing her yawns. I really don't know how else to describe it. Anyway, she kept doing it during class. We thought it was hilarious because man, puppy school is boring, but the teacher wasn't too impressed. This week involved a lot of talking (and the teacher wouldn't let the puppies interact with each other - which I thought the whole point of puppy school was, but whatever.) Hopefully next week we actually get to do stuff. I'm hoping that puppy school will convert Stella from a leash-puller (she weighs 15lbs and I'm not kidding when I say that she drags me down the street) into a well-behaved heeler. Hah, I just accidentally typed "heller" there - foreshadowing, perhaps?

Friday Night Last Orders At The Pub

I'm over my strop - I think I just needed to vent my spleen to get it out of my system. So, um, thanks for listening!

Westy's team is up 3-1 in their playoff series. They play again tonight. On one hand I hope they win so the series is over and they can have a rest before the next round of playoffs start. On the selfish hand, I kind of want them to lose so they have to play again tomorrow. There's a slight possibility I could drive up to Vernon tomorrow if they have a game.

After working really hard on the soul-sucking English course for the last month, I've now become sloth-like. I haven't touched it for a week. This is a bad plan because I've only got until the first week of May to write 2 papers and finish the readings. Maybe this weekend will be super-productive like last weekend. Or maybe I will spend the weekend being a lazy arse - who knows?

Daylight Savings kicked my ass this week. It has been so difficult to get out of bed in the morning when it's still pitch black outside. Plus it's been grey and rainy during the day (which might have also contributed to my tantrum.) I have spent the last week daydreaming about tropical locations. S has decided that he doesn't want to plan his 30th Birthday Holiday Extravaganza. He wants to leave it to the week before and try to get a last minute deal. The frugal part of me agrees with him - we can get more bang for our buck if we wait. The type-A, list-loving, planner part of me is not loving this plan so much. I need to plan. I need to prepare. This is S's birthday trip though, so I'm trying to chill out. If he wants to leave it to the last minute, we'll leave it to the last minute. I'm hoping that all the Alaskan cruises will be sold out if we leave it too long, meaning that we'll be forced to go somewhere warm and sunny.

Happy Friday!

Tip Our Glasses To No Direction

When I was a kid, I didn't dream of being a doctor or a ballerina. I had no aspirations to be a fire fighter or a lawyer or an astronaut. No, I wanted to be an accountant when I grew up. Exciting, right? No, I'm not going to cure cancer or fight the injustices of the world - I'm going to crunch me some numbers. My dad is an accountant, so clearly this was all his fault. I'd like to think that my desire to be an accountant was just me being a daddy's girl, but that would be a lie. I really was that much of a nerd.

Not that accountants are nerdy. I'm just saying that when you're six years old you should dream big.

Last year I took some accounting courses for work. Accounting courses are evil. This may not apply to everyone, but for someone who is a little bit more Type A than she'd like to admit, accounting courses make you crazy. The thing is, there's no reason why you can't get 100% - either you're right or you're wrong. So I tried to get 100%. I succeeded on a few assignments but mostly I just succeeded in making myself crazy. At one point, S threatened to leave me if I didn't stop obsessing about debits and credits.

I'm doing a degree (in what, I don't know) through correspondence, which means that it will probably take me about, oh 15 years to finish. After the accounting debacle of last year, I decided to take some English courses. I figured that the reason I didn't enjoy accounting is that I'm too creative. Accounting was stifling my creative drive. Unfortunately, it turns out that I am not creative. I'm doing a poetry course right now (not by choice, I'd like to point out) and it is making me crazier than the accounting. Poetry makes me frustrated. Symbolism and imagery are the bane of my existence.

If I manage to get through this course, I don't know what to do next. Go back to the courses where there is a right answer and there is a wrong answer and you are 1 or the other? Or stay with the courses that require an inordinate amount of bs to do well?