Friday, 7 June 2013

Scarred

I had this friend in high school - let's call her Sally. Sally had very large breasts. I don't remember exactly what size they were but they were definitely in the double G or double H size range. The biggest breasts in our high school is what I'm saying.

It didn't matter if it was a stranger meeting her for the first time or a friend who saw her every day, when people greeted Sally it was boobs first, face second. I didn't understand how hard it must have been to be Sally-boobs-face until I became Hillary-scar-face.

Sally was very vocal about her giant boobs. She oozed self confidence. I, in all my a-cup glory, didn't understand. I was all, "we get it. You have big boobs. You hate how people always comment on your boobs and yet you always talk about them." And now I kind of get it, I think. I have this unchangeable, physical trait that can't be hidden (yet - soon scarves won't make me want to claw off my own skin) that draws attention. I can either crumble or I can love it.

So I'm loving it. I'm talking about my scar and writing about my scar and posting ridiculous scar selfies on Instagram and Facebook. Because if I make you notice my hideous scar maybe it won't hurt so much that you did.


17 comments:

  1. It's a smile scar :) Cool!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are beautiful scar and all. I've got one to match you. You are strong and your words inspire me as well. Your blog is helping me get through some of my worst days and I think you for that. How you can be so insightful and true really inspires me. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Awesome - smile scars, I like it. Depending on the company and your explanation , a scar is instant cred. Serious goth points for example (been there, done that years ago). Looking forward to meeting you and Melissa at the party soon. Stay strong ladies.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Don't worry about that tiny scar. You're gorgeous.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love you, and your smiley scar. xo

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have a facial scar, so I completely get the feelings of self-consciousness and hurt when people notice. You have such a good spirit, though - I think it WILL help (morale-wise) to be open and up front about it. And the best part is that it becomes invisible to people after seeing you a few times. Really though, yours is a badge of courage and strength and survival. All of which make you MORE beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You carry off the scar very well :) It also looks CRAZY healed/faded already - you heal fast! It will be barely noticeable in no time, I imagine. But it's also a pretty badass battle scar, which you are able to rock, too.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Scars are sexy. Just saying :) You're gorgeous, your smile and eyes and lovely everything else way out-weigh the scar.
    No one will eventually notice, they'll just notice the pretty/lovely girl who just happens to have scar.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think you are a beautiful woman, inside and out. Your scar is part of your story, and it's awesome that you're owning it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My great grandma and grandma had thyroid removals.

    I used to run my fingers over their scars as a little girl. They were smooth and lovely and white. Seeing your picture made me think of the women I love and who most loved me.

    Your scars are part of you and are beautiful because you are wonderful and loved. I miss my grandmas and their scars.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Totally love this and just yes, rock it girl.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You might be scar first if you weren't so damn pretty.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love this attitude. If I could have taken photos of my cervix, I would have (but, ew, gross). Be proud of your scar and own it. No shame!

    ReplyDelete
  14. You know, I quite like your scar, and while I'm sure you feel like it screams SCAR! whenever you go out, I think it's rather subtle. People are going to look at your lovely face and listen to what you have to say before fixating on your scar.

    I have a big scar on my forehead. It's not so noticeable now - I got it when I was 25 - but it used to be. And every once in a while someone I don't know well will ask about it, but lots of people don't notice until I mention it. But when it was still fresh, and I was still making up exotic stories for how I got it (grazed by poison arrows in the rainforest, for example) a guy friend of mine said, "Scars on women are HOT." And I have been fine with it ever since.

    ReplyDelete
  15. For the record, I saw your beautiful face first, hair second, scar third.

    ReplyDelete