Friday 28 March 2008

An Ocean's Garbled Vomit On The Shore

Did you know that puppies can projectile vomit? Me neither. Until Stella let loose Exorcist-style. All over the couch. It's a small consolation that the couch is leather and not fabric. You'd think that it would be easy to clean up but it wasn't. For some reason, the bottom cushions are attached to the couch; they look removable but aren't (we've had the couch for 3 years and this is the first time I've noticed. Perceptive, much?) So although cleaning the surface of the cushions was easier than it would have been if we had a fabric couch, my cleaning job was hampered by the fact that vomit was dripping in between the cracks of the cushions and I couldn't pull the cushions out. What? Too much vomit talk? The thing is, I don't have a child. Projectile vomiting is not something I should have to deal with. When you have a child you're like "Yup. Projectile vomiting. Been there. Done that." It goes with the territory. Child = projectile vomiting. Cute adorable puppy SHOULD NOT = projectile vomiting. I'm just sayin'. You prepare yourself (or at least, I would prepare myself) when you have a kid. You KNOW it's going to be gross. You psych yourself up for the months of poop and pee and vomit and all the other bodily fluids you are going to come into contact with. I thought I'd prepared myself for having a puppy. I knew about the peeing on the floor. I understood about picking up the poop. But vomit? Really? Projectile vomiting? I can't get over this. And to make matters worse, Stella was so pleased with herself. It was like she'd learned a new trick or something. So here I am, trying to stop the flow of vomit from making it's way into the cracks between the cushions while trying to reassure Stella that I wasn't mad at her (puppy books says that if you freak out about something your puppy might develop a phobia about the thing you're freaking out about. I think one vomit-phobia per household is sufficient and I've got it all locked up, thankyouverymuch) and at the same time trying not to reinforce the thought that projectile vomiting gets you lots of kisses and cuddles. Don't want her to try for a repeat performance.

9 comments:

  1. Yeah, pet puke is gross. And they always manage to do it in the worst places. My cat threw up like 5-7 times in a weekend, and it was always on the carpet, right next the wood floor. Wood floor = easy clean up. Carpet, not so much.

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  2. Ugggggggh. Calvin threw up every! single! night! for two weeks. Apparently he was overloading on stomach acid because he hadn't eaten since dinner. Whatever Calvin...thin is in.

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  3. Awww. That's funny, but totally gross at the same time. Hope you managed to get it all cleaned up okay.

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  4. One of my cats pukes every other day. Usually right in my doorway, which makes the midnight stumble to the bathroom oh so much fun as you step into a slimy pile of barfed up cat kibble. All in all, I am pretty de-sensitized to all things gross from my job as a zookeeper. I have seen/smelled and cleaned it all. Nothing phases me! Not that it is anything to brag about... :P

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  5. Does she have a touch of the puppy-flu? Or just eat too fast?

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  6. I was wondering the same thing as Meg--the whole "eating too fast thing" is what makes one of our kittens do the ProVo in our place (feel free to use the lingo). She always manages to hurly-o somewhere that's a pain to clean. She'll stand on the tile and blow it out into the carpeted living room. I love her. :-)

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  7. Lisa: I cannot imagine cleaning up the bodily fluids of animals larger than my 15 pound puppy. You are a rockstar.

    Meg: It was definitely an eat-too-fast situation. That and she drank an entire bowl of water in about 20 seconds. And then ran around our condo for about 5 minutes. And then jumped up on the couch and puked. It was awesome.

    Over-Thinker: ProVo. Oh. My Hell. I laughed so hard and am totally stealing it.

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  8. Is it weird that I like to check back to see what has been said after I commented on a post?
    I feel a whole blog post coming on about this.

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  9. Took the words right off of my keyboard, Meg :-)

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