Friday, 28 March 2008
An Ocean's Garbled Vomit On The Shore
Did you know that puppies can projectile vomit? Me neither. Until Stella let loose Exorcist-style. All over the couch. It's a small consolation that the couch is leather and not fabric. You'd think that it would be easy to clean up but it wasn't. For some reason, the bottom cushions are attached to the couch; they look removable but aren't (we've had the couch for 3 years and this is the first time I've noticed. Perceptive, much?) So although cleaning the surface of the cushions was easier than it would have been if we had a fabric couch, my cleaning job was hampered by the fact that vomit was dripping in between the cracks of the cushions and I couldn't pull the cushions out. What? Too much vomit talk? The thing is, I don't have a child. Projectile vomiting is not something I should have to deal with. When you have a child you're like "Yup. Projectile vomiting. Been there. Done that." It goes with the territory. Child = projectile vomiting. Cute adorable puppy SHOULD NOT = projectile vomiting. I'm just sayin'. You prepare yourself (or at least, I would prepare myself) when you have a kid. You KNOW it's going to be gross. You psych yourself up for the months of poop and pee and vomit and all the other bodily fluids you are going to come into contact with. I thought I'd prepared myself for having a puppy. I knew about the peeing on the floor. I understood about picking up the poop. But vomit? Really? Projectile vomiting? I can't get over this. And to make matters worse, Stella was so pleased with herself. It was like she'd learned a new trick or something. So here I am, trying to stop the flow of vomit from making it's way into the cracks between the cushions while trying to reassure Stella that I wasn't mad at her (puppy books says that if you freak out about something your puppy might develop a phobia about the thing you're freaking out about. I think one vomit-phobia per household is sufficient and I've got it all locked up, thankyouverymuch) and at the same time trying not to reinforce the thought that projectile vomiting gets you lots of kisses and cuddles. Don't want her to try for a repeat performance.