Wednesday, 19 January 2011

The First Time I Saw You Was Like A Punch Right Through My Chest

A few months ago, I had babies on the brain. It felt like everywhere I looked (online and in real life) pregnant women abounded. Shawn and I have always agreed that we'd do the kids thing sometime. In the future. At some point. But suddenly "sometime in the future" wasn't sufficient. I wasn't feeling broody - I didn't want a baby right away; I just wanted a time line.

So I did what I always do when I have something important to discuss with Shawn - I dove in headfirst and I babbled a lot and I got defensive and upset when he wasn't immediately on board with me. In hindsight, it's easy to see where the conversation veered sideways into the land of miscommunication and misunderstanding. Shawn thought I was saying that I wanted to have a baby immediately and I thought when he said no, he was saying that he wouldn't even have a discussion about firming up our ambiguous game plan.

Days of chilly silence and hurt feelings followed.

I find it really difficult to stay mad at Shawn. He is incapable of holding a grudge so even though he was still confused by what he saw as my sudden descent into baby madness, he couldn't maintain the silent treatment. He took me to our favourite Greek restaurant and we tentatively started to unwind the tangles of our fight. At which point we discovered the misunderstanding and had a giant laugh.

We ate yummy food and talked about everything we wanted to accomplish before having kids. By the end of our date we had decided that barring any huge life changes between now and then, we would start seriously talking about babies in late autumn / winter 2011.

Ten days later we found out I was already pregnant.

Fetus says, "high five!"

66 comments:

  1. OK, even though I already know, that baby photo just made me cry.

    SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS.

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  2. Angella: Thanks, love! We're happy too :)

    MLE: You are swell. xoxo

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  3. YAY!! Congratulations! That is so exciting. :)

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  4. Aww!!! Yay! Congratulations! That's so exciting. And very "Hillary," if you ask me.

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  5. YAY Baby! High five indeed!

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  6. OH MY GODDDDD SHUT UP YAY SO HAPPY EXCITED FOR YOU WEEEEEEEEEEE

    REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WERE STUCK ON THE SKYTRAIN AND I WAS STUCK UNDERGROUND AND YOU SAID I HAD IT WORSE AND I AGREED? - UNAGREE! SOMEONE WAS (AND IS) PREGNANT!

    SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND SHAWN.

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  7. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
    *catches breath for a few moments*
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

    I kinda want to time my next Vancouver trip so I can meet your little one :) :) :)

    Congratulations Hillary + Shawn!!

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  8. Why Deprive: Thanks, lady!

    Adriana: I know what you mean! Though Shawn can shoulder half the blame :)

    Sarah: I know, right? YAY!

    Ginger: Thank you!

    Carly: Thanks :)

    Samdotcom: I heart you. Big time.

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  9. AHHH! CONGRATS! SO EXCITED FOR YOU GUYS!

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  10. Kyla: THAT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN!

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  11. Jamie Lovely: Thanks, dear!

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  12. Yay for surprise babies! :)

    I often look at my little baby and wonder how the heck he *wasn't* planned. :) We love him so much.

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  13. HOLY SMOKES! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

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  14. Yaaay! first ultrasound.

    So! psyched for you guys. You are going to be a Super Mom.

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  15. Eeeeee! Congrats!
    Love how you announced this. What a perfect surprise! Hurray!

    xoxo

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  16. Aww, this is such happy news! So thrilled for you guys. Congratulations!!

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  17. That's an awesome story. Congratulations!

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  18. Hoooraaaayyyyy!!!! congratulations!!!

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  19. That's so exciting!! Congrats :)

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  20. WOW! I was NOT expecting that! Glad it's you and not me :) I hope you'll indulge us with regular belly photos when you start to show. I have a total weakness for them!

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  21. Ohmigosh, congratulations to both you and Shawn and baby fetus! You're going to be the best mom ever!

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  22. Yay yay YAY! So incredibly excited for all of you! Have you told the pups yet? How did they react?

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  23. WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?! SO EXITING!!!!!!!

    When are you due??????

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  24. Ashley: That is exactly what I'm hoping for :)

    Jane: I know, right?! Thank you!

    Kerri Anne: Thanks, Kerr. xoxo

    Sarah Marie P: Thanks, doll! xo

    K: "Holy crap!" is pretty much all I said for a week after I found out. Only with more swearing :)

    Lauren: Thank you!

    Sharon: Thanks, lady!

    Windsor Grace: Thank you :)

    Shannon: Thanks, miss!

    Ashalah: Thank you!!! :)

    Qtilla: Thanks!

    Dayna: Thank you! Now you know why I was falling asleep at the restaurant the last time I saw you!

    Tia: Thanks :)

    Meghan: Thanks, dear!

    Stevie: The pups totally know! Wolfgang is constantly trying to curl up on my stomach :)

    Jen: July 22! Summer baby!

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  25. Yay yay high five yippee! Soooo wonderful!

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  26. Lemon Gloria: Thanks, hunny bunny! xoxo

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  27. AHHHHHWE'REALLGROWINGUPANDIT'SSCARY!

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  28. Yay yay! I am so so excited for you guys. Are you going to find out the sex or be surprised?

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  29. Oh my god that is so exciting!!!!!!!! EEEEEE!!!! Congratulations!

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  30. Oh hooray! Well, one thing's for sure: that's going to be a damn cute kid. Congrats Congrats Congrats.

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  31. Yay! Dude you are going to rock this mom thing! Also? Little mustache onsies? This needs to happen.

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  32. Girl, WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAAAAAAT?!?! OMFG YAAAAAAAAAAAY! I seriously just fucking ROCKETED OUT OF MY CHAIR over here when I read this! FUCKING AWESOME!!

    I am telling you right now: this is gonna be fucking awesome. It's already fucking awesome. Don't let all the people on FB scare you with their lame "you'll never sleep again" stories.

    YAAAAY!

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  33. Congratulations!

    I'd also like to add that I absolutely love the way you shared the news, it's so funny how things work out sometimes!

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  34. I have been a lurker of your blog for a while now.... but this calls for some de-lurking.

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

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  35. Congratulations! So, so excited for you both!

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  36. Wow, Congrats!!

    I was not expecting that! It's amazing how life throws things at you! So glad you got tangles all worked out before you found out!

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  37. This is such a cute/awesome/fantastic blog post. Love it! Congratulations you guys. So exciting :-)

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  38. Yay, what a nice surprise! Congrats =)

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  39. Congratulations!!! I had an inkling this is what you were going to say but it still surprised me. I am so happy for you both!

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  40. What an amazing surprise !Congratulations Hillary.

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  41. Ben: Dude. I know!

    xoxb: Oh we're totally finding out the sex. I'm a planner and Shawn's impatient!

    Awmber: Thanks, lovely!

    Jennie: Thank you so much!

    Sarah: Oh it will totally happen. I've already got a mustache teether from littlealouette.com

    Jive Turkey: THANK YOU! You should know that you are one of my examples of "tells it like it is" blogging moms. I heart you to bits is what I'm saying.

    Stephanie: Thank you!

    athirtysomething: Ah! I love delurking! Thank you!!

    Mary: Thanks!

    Tyler: I'm glad too!

    Amber: Thanks, lady :)

    Sassafras: Thank you!

    Rescuedinsanity: Thank you muchly :)

    Kate: Thanks, lady!!

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  42. Ummm, this story is FABULOUS! At least you were on the same page when you found out. Big congrats to you two ... oh, what a wild ride 2011 will be!

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  43. Aww!! What exciting news! Congrats to both of you on expanding your little family! =)

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  44. AHHHHH!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! OMG!!! YAAAAAY!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!

    THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH CAPITAL LETTERS OR EXCLAMATION POINTS TO CONVEY MY EXCITEMENT! hee!

    aw man, i wish i knew this a week ago; i would have included a BABY SCARF for the swap. heehee.

    oh wait. i guess babies probably aren't supposed to wear scarves, what with the strangulation problem. or do babies wear scarves? will YOUR baby wear a scarf? if your baby will wear a scarf i will mail you one RIGHT NOW!

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  45. Nilsa: Wild ride, indeed! We're both a little more smiley after seeing the beating heart on-screen.

    Leftlane: Thank you!

    Marie: Thanks, sweets xo

    Alice: YOU ROCK! Also, dude? I should not be the one to answer questions about what babies should or should not wear. I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BABIES. I should, uh, figure that shit out pretty soon I guess.

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  46. So here's something really weird. I was several posts behind on your blog, and something told me I should read today. Turns out I predicted you were pregnant. Sort of. Whatever. The point is, Congratulations!!! Holy crap.

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  47. WOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I hope you have a tiny baby moo-stache in the works.....

    Love you (and Cletus The Fetus)!!!

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  48. Congratulations!! Eeeee that's exciting! I know just how you felt a couple months ago when pregnant women and babies seem to be everywhere - that's been the case lately here, too. It's awesome. Yaaay babies!

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  49. Doahleigh: Thank you :)

    Deidre: I love you too!!

    Amy: Thanks, lady!

    Sizzle: Thank you!

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  50. Congrats!!! Such great news!

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  51. But how do the puppies feel about this?

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  52. awwwwwww!!! congratulations!!! :D

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  53. The tiny little high five! So cute! Can't wait for many many more pics. OX you and your bean!

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  54. I think that is the best story ever!

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  55. HOLY look what happens when I go away for 10 days!!! HUGE congratulations!!! :D :D

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