The First Time I Saw You Was Like A Punch Right Through My Chest

A few months ago, I had babies on the brain. It felt like everywhere I looked (online and in real life) pregnant women abounded. Shawn and I have always agreed that we'd do the kids thing sometime. In the future. At some point. But suddenly "sometime in the future" wasn't sufficient. I wasn't feeling broody - I didn't want a baby right away; I just wanted a time line.

So I did what I always do when I have something important to discuss with Shawn - I dove in headfirst and I babbled a lot and I got defensive and upset when he wasn't immediately on board with me. In hindsight, it's easy to see where the conversation veered sideways into the land of miscommunication and misunderstanding. Shawn thought I was saying that I wanted to have a baby immediately and I thought when he said no, he was saying that he wouldn't even have a discussion about firming up our ambiguous game plan.

Days of chilly silence and hurt feelings followed.

I find it really difficult to stay mad at Shawn. He is incapable of holding a grudge so even though he was still confused by what he saw as my sudden descent into baby madness, he couldn't maintain the silent treatment. He took me to our favourite Greek restaurant and we tentatively started to unwind the tangles of our fight. At which point we discovered the misunderstanding and had a giant laugh.

We ate yummy food and talked about everything we wanted to accomplish before having kids. By the end of our date we had decided that barring any huge life changes between now and then, we would start seriously talking about babies in late autumn / winter 2011.

Ten days later we found out I was already pregnant.

Fetus says, "high five!"