Are The Things That Make You Panic Are Your Thoughts Results Of Static Cling?

So my throat rabies migrated to my sinuses which has resulted in me being even more sick and less pleasant than last week. I am a treat to be around, all grumpy / snotty / whiny. Shawn is pretty damn pleased to be in Toronto for work this week, let me tell you.

I had to have a sinus X-ray this morning because my doctor tried to look up my nose and, uh, couldn't because of my monster sinuses. I'm unclear on what a sinus X-ray will show because I was too busy freaking out about EAR GERMS IN MY NOSE while my doctor explained it to me (she used the light thingy to look in my ears and then up my nose but didn't change the disposable light funnely tip in between. Like some sort of animal.)

You know, the light thingy? And the disposable light funnely tip? I'm fairly certain those are the proper scientific names.




It gets worse.

I go for my sinus X-ray and find out that it entails me sticking my face directly on the X-ray board. Like the board that everyone mashes their body parts up against to be X-rayed, not some fancy disposable board that only my face will be touching. And we're not talking a little cheek or chin, oh no, we're talking full-on nose and mouth touching the communal X-ray board. The tech wiped it down with Windex (seriously, he couldn't at least use an antibacterial wet wipe? What the fuck good is Windex going to do? I was not concerned about the X-ray board being streaky, you know?) before I stuck my face on it but all I could picture during the procedure was the impressively hairy dude from the waiting room who had gone before me and was there for a chest X-ray.

I'm not a total germaphobe. I take public transit, daily. I shake hands with people I've just met. I use public washrooms. I let my dogs lick my face. I'm okay with a certain level of germiness is what I'm saying. But I'm not okay with potentially ingesting a stranger's chest sweat. Actually, I think I'll modify that to "I'm not okay with potentially ingesting anyone's chest sweat" and call it a day.