Monday 20 April 2009

I Have Been Ungrateful I've Been Unwise Restless From The Cradle Now I Realize It's So Hard To See The Rainbow Through Glasses Dark As These

Shawn and I didn't go on a honeymoon after our wedding last summer. There were a few contributing factors: we had a few out-of-town guests who we wanted to spend time with after the wedding (most notably, Shawn's dad and one of his oldest friends); close friends of ours were married four days after us and we wanted to attend their wedding; and after going to Mexico for Shawn's 30th birthday in May, we didn't have enough vacation time remaining to be able to go on the awesome Ireland/England honeymoon trip we dreamed of. The plan was that we would take our honeymoon in the spring of 2009. Which would be now.

Our Ireland /England honeymoon has been delayed yet again, most likely until mid-2010. I'm trying very hard not to be disappointed but I can't help it. I haven't been back to England since May 2007 and I miss it. I miss my friends. I miss London. I miss sitting in the pub all afternoon. I miss Jaffa Cakes and Twiglets and baked beans done right.

I'm trying hard to quiet my discontent. Our trip has been delayed because we're going to Mexico for Shawn's friends' wedding. I should be flattered that we've been asked to join them. I should be excited to spend a week in the sun with a great group of people. I shouldn't feel sad or, even worse, resentful. Don't get me wrong, I am happy and grateful that our financial situation is stable enough that we're able to take any holiday at all. I'm just feeling a bit blue because I feel like our honeymoon will never happen. I'm afraid that life will continue to get in the way.

In three weeks I will be laying in the sun. I won't have anything to worry about (besides the daily puppy fretting I am sure to do.) I know I am going to have a good time. I just wish I didn't sound like I am trying to convince myself.

15 comments:

  1. I know exactly how you feel.

    You guys will have an awesome time and end up loving it.

    But at the same time, I know how you feel about London. I'm the exact same way with Florence, and I always kick myself just a little bit when I book other vacations instead of a trip back there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am in a similar situation. We got married in May 08. We delayed a "real" honeymoon (we did a week-long cruise with both parents) for summer 09. Yep, that's about now and we have put it off yet again due to finances and no vacation time for my husband who just started a new job. Next year WILL be the year (unless we buy a house).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sure, you're going to get to take a nice vacation. But it's not the vacation you would choose for yourself, and it's OK to feel like you would prefer to go to Ireland/England. I would feel the exact same way.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think it would be easy to be a cheerleader here and tell you not to worry about it and that it will happen in 2010. But, you're right that life could continue to get in the way. I think you and Shawn just need to make the commitment to go next year. One way to do that is booking your tickets now and filling in the blanks later. At least you'd have your dates set.

    Which reminds me, Sweets and I need to do the same thing with some frequent flier tickets my aunt & uncle offered us. Originally, it was supposed to be for our honeymoon, which we'd already paid for. Then it was supposed to be for our one-year anniversary. Now, it's looking more like 2010, too. But, what better way to be sure we're going than to book our tickets! Thanks for the unintentional kick in the butt!

    ReplyDelete
  5. oh man, i know how you feel. replacing one vacation with another is nice, but is still not YOUR vacation.

    i'm with nilsa. save up for a month or two and then just buy the tickets now, so you're committed for next year. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Personally, I think you're lucky. We're not sure what, if anything, we will be able to justify doing for a vacation this year.

    Enjoy Mexico. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. You have every right to be disappointed - you've wanted to do that trip forever.

    At least your friends aren't getting married on an Alaskan cruise or something, because then there wouldn't be a silver lining ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Aw.... I didn't get a honeymoon either, for similar reasons. We even planned one for about five months after our wedding, and that too got canceled (due to being broke). Now that I'm not working, I don't imagine we will go on an international trip together for another few years. It bums me out, but man, I'm glad to be married and glad to be able to take a trip to Montana with my husband this summer. I hope you get European trip in soon!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Aw, yeah, for sure make a commitment to it for next year and GO. It's important to you clearly.

    By the way, you're local to Vancouver right? If you need a dogsitter while you're away, shoot me an email. I'm always up for hanging with puppies :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I know how you feel. While we went on a trip before the wedding (we called it our pre-wedding honeymoon) I was kind of sad that we weren't able to go on a trip afterward (due to Dan's school schedule). It's funny; we've been planning a UK/Ireland trip since before we were even a couple - each of us was planning a solo trip which is how we ended up meeting (on a message board about travel). The plan was for us to go together. We've never gone. We've gone to China and Italy and all over the US but have never done that damn UK/Ireland trip that we both desperately want to do -primarily for financial but also logistical reasons. And it's looking like it might not happen until after we have kids who are old enough for other people to watch for a few weeks (so, like, 15 years from now I guess?) or maybe we'll just have to take the kids with us and it won't exactly be the trip we'd dreamed of - but someday we'll get there. And someday you and Shawn will get there, too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. dude, i know you're sad. but it's my fantasy that we get our shit together enough to go with you next year (i know, right, what could you want more on your honeymoon than family to come along?). because as much as i want to go to eng/ire, i totally want to go with you, since you already know everything. don't worry, babe, you'll get there.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I agree with the other suggestions of just buying your tickets and figuring out all the deets later!

    ReplyDelete
  13. You will have a good time. And don't worry, you will get to go on the honeymoon you two planned. Try buying the tickets early on because that's what usually sets everything else in motion. Then start planning out the places you want to go and see.

    It'll all come together. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Aw, I understand your disappointment. You'll get to have your honeymoon, babe. You will!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Um, are you attending my brother's wedding? Because it's in Mexico. This Saturday. Are you sitting at my table?

    ReplyDelete