Monday, 27 April 2009

I Got My Swim Trunks And My Flippie Floppies

When our two car payments and two insurance payments are combined, Shawn and I spend more monthly on our vehicles than on our mortgage. And that's not even considering the cost of parking or gasoline. At this rate we will never get out of our condo and into a real house.

Our plan is to sell Shawn's car and trade mine in for one we can compromise on (Shawn needs speed and power, I need a hatchback for easy puppy transportation.) We spent Saturday morning at a dealership getting my car appraised.

I am not a fan of car dealerships. I do not love cars the way Shawn does so I end up spending a lot of energy trying to tune him out while he drools over all the shiny new cars. Car dealerships smell funny. They have bad coffee. Car salespeople scare me a little (I think it's the combination of manipulation and desperation they exude.) This dealership was no exception.

At one point during the shenanigans, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I take two steps into the room and realize that I am standing in a puddle of dirty pee water. Someone had done something horrific to the toilet and caused a massive overflow. The floor was completely covered in water and there was toilet paper and other debris floating in it. And I was standing in it. IN FLIP FLOPS.

I hauled ass to the front desk to tell someone and the woman there says, nonchalantly, "Oh yeah, I know. Just go upstairs and use the employee bathroom." And then my head melted because seriously? You know? You know that there is a major flooding situation in the bathroom and you couldn't be arsed to, you know, put a fucking sign on the door? So people don't go in - IN FLIP FLOPS - and get dirty pee water on their feet? ON THEIR BARE FEET?

So my car dealership experience didn't start off too well.

Fast forward to us sitting down with a salesman and having him tell me how "amazing" it is that "so many woman are driving stick shifts nowadays." Now, he was an older guy (probably my dad's generation) who didn't seem like he was trying to be a dick. I think he was just trying to include me in the conversation because up to that point he and Shawn had been having a spirited discussion about the future of GM while I sat stewing about the dirty pee water on my feet and how I was going to have to throw out my favourite pair of flip flops and probably sterilize my feet in boiling water and that was really going to hurt a lot and wow this coffee tastes like mud. So. The salesman tells me it's amazing and Shawn shoots me a look (the "don't say anything Hillary, it's not worth it" look) and I bite my tongue and don't say something like "it sure is amazing! Did you know I can vote now, too?" and spend the rest of our time there stewing about dirty pee water and chauvinistic salesmen.

Here's the thing: if he had told me it was impressive that more and more women are now driving stick shifts I would probably find it a bit condescending but not outright offensive. But to call it amazing? The miracle of life = amazing. The Vancouver Canucks sweeping the St. Louis Blues in four straight games = amazing.

These brownies I made last week = amazing.

Women mastering the stick shift? Not amazing. Kind of cool, if you ask me. I definitely feel like a bit of a badass because I know how to drive stick. But I don't feel like it's my greatest accomplishment.

Shawn says I'm too sensitive. There is a slight possibility that he's correct; I mean, this did happen two days ago and I'm still pissed about it. I just find it really insulting that this man felt justified in basically congratulating me for being able to drive my car. Asshole. Needless to say, he will not be selling us a car (and not just because my car was appraised at over $10,000 less than what I paid for it fourteen months ago ... eep!)


  1. Hee - I love the song in your title. It makes me laugh every time. I might just have to watch the video again.

    I think you're justified in being pissed off at the dealer - I would be too. And having to stand in that pee water is revolting. Ugh.

    Okay, I totally want those brownies. Care to share the recipe? I'm drooling - they look so fantastic!

  2. Ew ew ew ew! Car dealership pee water! Car dealerships at all! They're such a dreadful, exhausting experience and you feel like you can't trust anyone and you leave with this feeling of smarm stuck on you. And then to get pee on your feet.

    Randomly - this chauvenism reminds me that we have been Netflixing Mad Men and really enjoying it. And while I covet the clothing, I am sooooo glad to be a woman now rather than then. Ugh.,

  3. You are a better woman than me, not because of the stick thing-I do that too haha, but I would've lost my shit (no pun intended) over the pee water and we would've been out of there.

    There is no way I would've even made it to the condescending commentary by said douchey salesman, I would've demanded we leave or the scene I would've thrown would've had them demanding me leave :)

  4. Pee floor is next to pee on the toilet steas. Ewww ewwww ewww. And good on you for not taking the cheap shot to the salesman, you're a better woman than I.

  5. So gross!!!

    Honestly, since we got rid of Mister's car our lives haven't changed at all, we just have move money. It was totally worthwhile for us.

    Make sure that when you go in to talk to them you know what the Blue Book Value is, it can save you a lot ( is a good resource to get a ball park) and get you into a better bargaining position. Good luck!

  6. Maybe this will make you feel better. My sandal-clad feet were once puked upon by a drunk frat boy in a Taco Bell.

    Makes that pee water look not so bad, right?

  7. I totally would have said something. I learned to drive on a stick, it's totally way more fun. I hate driving auto now :S
    Sorry to hear the car's been appraised so much lower :S That's not so nice to hear, expecially with icky toilet water on your bare feet! Eeek!

  8. The brownies look awesome.

    I taught hubby how to drive a stick shift when we were dating. I must be extra amazing. :-)

  9. I'm skeeved about the pee water. Sick.

    As for the stick - I miss driving one. They don't make minivans with a standard transmission...

  10. I'm trying to decide which is worse... the pee water, or the car dealership coffee.

    I think it's a draw.

  11. a) i want those brownies, holy crap

    b) i would have been bleeding from the tongue after the chomp down required not to be a snark at that dealer


  12. I am glad you didn't give that place your business. SO not deserved. If you had, I was going to say I hope you pitched a fit about that bathroom to try and get a better deal! :)

    And please put a warning before you show delicious looking brownies on your page. So that pregnant women such as myself do not turn into a salvating mess and now can not focus on work any longer because "MUST HAVE CHOCOLATE!!"


  13. That is disgusting!

    And for the record - I bought my car at the one dealership where the salesperson talked to ME, not the boy. Even though he couldn't keep his eyes off my chest he gave me a sweet deal and I was A-OK with the ogling. Haha.

  14. When I was in high school I made a calculation that my parents probably spent way more on transportation (in their lifetime) than on a home. I figured, that meant that your most expensive item ever should be TRANSPORTATION, not HOUSING. Even though you buy a bunch of cars. Me, I try and make mine last ten years or more (cars, not houses).

    I read "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" in college (by then it was a cult classic). Loved the book; never saw the movie.

  15. haha it would be amazing for me if i drove stick shift, but then again i'm not that great of a driver, so that would be a major feat :)

  16. Ewwww pee water! Upside, at least it wasn't the #2 water.

    Please also inform the man that us women can also have jobs (other than administrative), own property and may also break out in a pant suit every once in a while.

  17. I forgot to mention - if you are looking for speed and power it might be worth checking out the Subaru WRX - wicked fast and comes in a hatchback! Plus you can't go wrong with full-time AWD if you ever have to deal with snow!

  18. I also know how to drive a stick, and while yes it's not a the biggest accomplishment it does seem to impress people, I have no idea why that is.

    And I would so mad about the pee water too! GROSS!

  19. Hahaha. "It sure is amazing! Did you know I can vote now, too?"

    That's funny.

  20. I don't know what you're talking about. I feel totally liberated because I drive a stick shift. I mean, men tried to keep me down, tried to keep me in the kitchen, keep me in dresses, keep me from voting, keep me from driving a stick. But I showed 'em when I bought my last car. I said "screw the man, give me a manual transmission!"

    It was pretty amazing because as a woman, it was really hard to learn how to drive one. All that shifting and stuff. My feeble brain had a hard time with it.

    Okay done now.