Distracted By Irrelevance The Stress And The Tension

Big things are happening right now. Big, stressful things that I can't really talk about right now.

Oh, and before anyone asks, no I am not pregnant. Just because I am a newlywed doesn't mean that I'm gagging to procreate. (Except that, um, last week I thought I might be pregnant. And that was contributing to the Big! Stressful! things. But it's okay, Saturday morning I peed on a stick and three horrible minutes later, Shawn and I high-fived enthusiastically and repeatedly when only one line showed up instead of two.)

So, right. Big stressful (non-pregnancy related) things are happening.

I knew that I was stressed (the headaches and stomachaches and the completely bizarre cryings jags tipped me off. What constitutes a completely bizarre crying jag? Crying because your puppy has toenails. The toenails didn't scratch me, or Stella, or anything else. It wasn't because I had to cut the toenails (though that does suck.) The crying was due to the fact that Wolfgang is a skinny puppy. No matter what we do, he stays skinny. We increased his food intake. We put him on a high-protein food. We feed him treats like nobody's business. And yet, he is rail-thin. But his toenails! They don't stop growing! His toenails grow freakishly fast. And this is what the crying was about - I feel like all the effort we put into making Wolfgang gain weight is directly related to how fast his toenails grow. Like the extra protein in the high-protein puppy food is making him grow monster claws instead of a round puppy belly. And so, the crying.)

Anyway.

I didn't realize how stressed I was until just now. I went out to grab lunch and ended up in the drugstore. I was on my cell with Shawn so I wasn't really paying attention to what I was buying - I just went up the food aisle and threw a few things in my basket, paid, and left. I just got back to the office and opened my bag to see what I bought. I give you, my lunch:

1 bag pretzels
1 package of licorice
1 package of those yummy cream cookies with the red jelly centre
1 bag roasted, salted almonds
1 Skor bar
1 Coke

Yes, I'll take my stress with a side of diabetes and high blood pressure, please.

I have a Big! Stressful! potentially life-changing meeting in one hour and if I eat this lunch, I will die. I'm thinking I should eat the almonds for the protein and drink the Coke for its sweet, glorious caffeine and leave the rest. There's a pot of yogurt in the fridge that I can steal (and replace tomorrow - I know my office etiquette) and I think that will tide me over until I grab some real food. The problem is that when I'm stressed, I crave sugary foods (clearly.) The candy is calling my name. I can't resist!