Monday, 14 July 2008

Still You Rack 'em Up, Knock 'em Back, Line 'em Up, Put 'em Down

My brain is on strike right now. It is fed up with too many late nights and too many cocktails and too much heat (Kelowna? Is f-ing hot. Dear Kelowna, I hate you. Love Hillary.) Due to lack of brain power, this post will consist of many pictures and few words.

We stayed at a lovely resort on Lake Okanagan. There were 11 of us sharing a 3 bedroom suite (the only way we could afford to stay there.) It was a bit cozy but the massive patio more than made up for it.

Shawn enjoying the patio

The view from our room

K's wedding was beautiful. She looked gorgeous. There were a few snafus along the way (the marriage commissioner got 2 flat tires on the way to the ceremony - 2! - so it started an hour late) but at the end of the day K and L were married.

K & L sealing the deal

Here I am, expending far too much energy trying not to cry and willing my dress to stay up:

Which brings me to:

my boobies (or lack thereof.) Thanks for all your tips - the comments you guys left were hilarious. As a teenager I spent a lot of time being angsty about my lack of boobage; I'm so glad that I can laugh about it now. And laugh I did - you guys crack me up.

So last week I went out and bought some chicken fillets or "realistic silicone mini inserts" as they're called on the box. Unfortunately the realistic silicone mini inserts weren't quite enough so I had to buy a massively padded bra as well. Buying the realistic silicone mini inserts was funny. I was awkward, the saleslady who I had to ask for help was embarrassed, all in all it was pretty humorous. Buying the massively padded bra made me die a little inside. I don't know why, it just depressed me. It all turned out okay though - the chicken fillets, the padded bra AND double-sided tape kept my dress on all night. Though the double-sided tape + STUPID KELOWNA HEAT = rash. It's lovely. I have 4 rectangular rashes on my chest and back (which I will spare you photos of.)

The result:

I'm not exaggerating when I say that maybe 25% of that rack is actually mine. Perhaps a tad mortifying but good blog fodder, right?

13 comments:

  1. Wow - looks like such a gorgeous place! And you look pretty damn good too!

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  2. The bride and groom got married. And you eventually got your drink on. Without flashing the crowd. I'd say that's one heck of a successful wedding!

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  3. yay for chicken cutlets!!!!

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  4. Glad the dress worked out in the end!

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  5. You're very pretty. Please to be sharing the brand and nail color of your polish? Yay for boobs staying hidden!

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  6. The beauty is that no one else would probably notice.

    YAY!

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  7. Hubba Hubba!! And I know you hate math but FYI:

    Angstiness About Small Chest
    +
    Booblets
    =
    Screw You 9th Grade Asshole Boys/Girls

    Also....I'm a bit choked up as I write this, but you're the first bloggity friend of mine that knows how to hold a glass of wine. I'm so proud of you! If the whole thing with Shawn doesn't work out, I'll give you my number...heh.

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  8. You looked brilliant! But as a photographer, on that 4rd picture, of you doing the portrait. Hold the flowers down about 3 inches. Outside of that wonderful! Oh and the over-thinker is right. Not many people now a-days know how to hold a class of white wine. I'm impressed.

    Kudos!

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  9. Plus, this post is full of keywords that'll bring in flocks of traffic to your blog.

    Boobies, anyone?

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  10. Nice Razorlight reference. Also, glad your dress stayed up!

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  11. Hooray for (faux) boobies! And for last minute solutions! Boo for the rash! My sisters and MOH all wore stick on boobies in their BM dresses; I tried to make the dresses so they wouldn't have to wear bras at all but the 3 of them didn't feel comfortable au naturel. Stick-on bras (with padding) it was.

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  12. yay! it worked!! you look beautiful. it's always good to attend weddings close to the time of your own. it reminds you what the whole thing is really about...

    at the end of the day, all that matters is the two of you. i'm sure your wedding will be fabulous.

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  13. Sharon: Thanks! It was a really lovely resort.

    Nilsa: Definitely successful - no private bits were flashed, even after numerous drinks were consumed. What more can you ask for?

    Alexa: I know, right? Totally saved the day!

    Lauren: Thank you :)

    Green: Thank you! The nail polish is OPI but I'm not sure of the colour name - they didn't have the one I wanted so I just told her to pick one.

    J: They wouldn't have noticed except that I made everyone feel them. I'm pretty sure they noticed then.

    Over-Thinker: I'm not actually classy at all - I just hate when my white wine gets warm. When I drink red wine I totally hold it by the glass and not the shaft (ha ha, after re-reading that I figured I should probably change it to "stem" but shaft is funnier.)

    Nate: Thanks. I wasn't really concentrating on where I was holding the flowers. Just trying not to cry or, you know, flash anyone.

    Mike: I purposely used 'boobies' because I thought it was a less likely search term than other, more grown up slang words.

    Constantly: Loooove Razorlight. Want to lick Johnny Borrell.

    MLE: The tape was pretty nasty but it did the trick!

    Meesh-elle: Thank you!

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