Tuesday, 8 July 2008

One Backless Strapless Copper Thread Gown

I'm going to Kelowna for K's wedding this weekend. My dress? My bridesmaid dress? DOES NOT FIT. We ordered the dresses back in January. Since then, Stella has come into my life and my daily level of activity has shot way up and my ability to snack has decreased. This has resulted in some very satisfying weight loss. Unfortunately, when I lose weight I lose it in my upper body (read: boobs and belly.) The dress is strapless. I tried it on last night to see if a new strapless bra is required or if the one I've got will work with the dress. Turns out that what I require is some new boobies. New, bigger boobies. By Saturday. How else do you hold up a strapless dress? I've never worn a strapless dress before. Right now the dress sits halfway down my chest. It is unwearable. There is no stretch to the material (I have no idea what the fabric is - some sort of shiny bridesmaid dress fabric. In ice blue. I don't want to talk about it.) There's not enough time to get it altered by a real tailor, so my plan is to get my Mom to safety pin it (I cannot be trusted with pointy objects, especially if I'm trying to pin something I'm wearing at the time) and hope it doesn't look too silly. Another thought I had is to try the double-sided tape that fancy ladies use to tape their low-cut tops to their chests to preserve their modesty. Has anyone used this before? I don't even know where I would buy it. I leave in 3 days and this needs to be resolved before then or K will kick my ass.

Oooh, also? I am driving up without Shawn (he's flying up on Saturday to avoid all the rehearsal / last day craziness) which means that I get to listen to my music for 5 straight hours. I need some roadtrip music suggestions. It's got to be upbeat enough that I don't fall asleep (I'm leaving really early Friday morning) but not too upbeat (because I can't afford any speeding tickets.)


  1. "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall. And "Eyes" by Rogue Wave.

  2. Man...it would so suck to lose weight off the good bits first. Can you imagine if dudes lost...erm...length first off after dropping a few pounds?

  3. Can you buy a strapless bra that is HEAVILY padded?

    On the pinning tip, put it on inside out and then pin it, take it off and then put it back on the right way and all the pins should be hidden without it looking all obvious and puckery. I had to do that for a wedding I was in.

  4. I HAD THIS EXACT PROBLEM. also with a bridesmaid dress.

    my solution was these stuck into a strapless bra, and they worked surprisingly fantastically. i got them in the lingerie dept of nordstrom's (or some other mainstream department store) in a display with stuff like bra extenders and stick on bras and clear replacement bra straps. i fully endorse / recommend them.

  5. Oh man, that stinks! Hopefully you're able to find a good solution for your dress!

    As for good road-trippin' music, I suggest some J-pop (I can help you out with that if you're interested), which is always good for a laugh, some AC/DC, and a few songs from Hilary Duff's newest CD. Yes, I said Hilary Duff. You may now proceed to laugh. It's really catchy stuff, though! :)

  6. I would get the chicken cutlet looking fakies. I've never used them, but I hear they are amazing. Good luck with the dress.

  7. I've never heard of that type of tape for fabric. Only for posters, and it's made by Scotch Tape. I doubt that's what you're looking for...

    Although, if you're buying a bra especially for the occasion, you could liquid stitch it to the dress, then the dress will stay exactly where your bra is...Permanently.

  8. Thomas: Good choices - I'm a big KT Tunstall fan.

    Ben: I know, right? SO UNFAIR!

    Raven: You are brilliant. I hadn't even thought of turning it inside out.

    Alice: I'm SO SCARED of the fake implants. It might be the route I have to take but I hope not. Knowing me, I won't be able to keep them contained and one will go flying at an inopportune moment.

    Sharon: What is J-pop?

    Leftlane: the chicken cutlets scare me but I might end up buying them :)

    3carnations: what is liquid stitching?!

  9. Pins should work fine! IF not, the tape should also work. A friend used it for a shirt before. Tape keeps everything in place, right?

    Maybe use both options. Good luck!

  10. Liquid Stitch is actually a brand name liquid sold at the fabric store. It's like sewing without the needle and thread. I've used it to "sew" patches on the inside of the knees of my son's pants. He gets holes in all the knees of his pants from sliding into bases on the playground. He hasn't had holes since I've done that. But, it's basically like glue. If you sewed the front of the bra to the inside of the dress, it would probably be there forever.

  11. That double sided tape? It's toupee tape. Go into any wig shop and even some beauty shops sell the stuff. Supposedly works miracles.

    Also, when you're done with that music, would you send it to me? I've got a road trip next week and could use some great tunes!

  12. Go with the tape and the creepy little breast enhancement gel packs (I bought both at Nordstrom if I recall correctly). Then murmur a prayer.

    I have this problem all the time... because I am flat-ish. I usually fit everything fine except in the bust and I despise paying anyone to take a dress in.

  13. Yay for the weight loss! Boo on the dress not fitting.

    I suggest a padded bra and some boob tape. Hopefully it works out for you!

  14. chick cutlet boob things in your bra could work.

    i wouldn't safety pin it. do you have an alterations express around you? they'll fit it up really quick.

    good luck!

  15. Two thoughts:

    #1: Hot glue your boobs to the dress. Yes, it'll hurt, but only for a minute and it'll be invisible.

    #2: having just completed being a best man in a wedding, and having to coordinate stuff with the wedding party, I'll say this.

    Some are AWESOME, others are lazy fucks.

    Weddings are a LOT of work, as you know. The Work is plentiful and tiring, but the bride, groom, and other wedding party members will appreciate as much help as possible.

    Also, you're getting married. Karma baby!

  16. Life is a Highway by .. Tom Cochrane I think.

    Call fabric/craft stores. Like JoAnns or some shit. They'll either have double-sided tape or be able to tell you where to get it. Do EVERYTHING. Pin, tape, boob cutlets, whatever options there are, USE THEM. Because won't it suck for your dress to fall down in the presence of professional photographers? Yes, yes it will.

    Also. Although you're right that there's not enough time to properly get the dress altered, there is time to sew two invisable straps onto the dress. Again, fabric store/craft store.

    Good luck.

  17. My music is dreadfully outdated. Sorry.

    Sorry about the dress too...and lack of cleavage. This from one who only had cleavage while nursing her babies. Now they gone done dried up.

    Safe travels! Have fun in my neck of the woods :)

  18. Go to a lingerie store and you can either go two routes...

    a half bra with the tape (i had a hard time getting them to work)

    or you can get a strapless bra that has major padding that will fill up the dress.

    Hope you have and awesome time! and if your dress actually falls you could have your mom sew in little holes (like loops) and make it into the halter after all the pics are taken. You can just use a detachable bra strap that matches the color of the dress.

  19. Um... In my experience, the tape doesn't work too well with bridesmaid dress fabric. (I may have an embarrassing story about this...) I suppose I would try it again, but only as a 3rd line of defense.

  20. anything by Bloc Party is awesome road trip music. Chin Up Chin Up, Snowden and my all time favs, New Order, will also work. oooh, don't forget Interpol. go have a great weekend, in or out of that dress.

  21. oh man who knew losing weight could be bad? i had to slim down to fit a strapless dress too and luckily i just slimmed the tummy, please tell me your remedy for slimming the boobs? i would love to do that :)

    but good luck with the safety pin, that's about all i could think of too to help it stay up. hope it works out.

  22. you know those things that are essentailly like chicken cutlets? victoria's secret has them. They claim to be bras, but they actually enhance the size of your breasts. I used them once when i had a similar problem and it worked wonders...

    they aren't cheap - but they work:

  23. Stuff.
    And I like the idea of turning the dress inside out to pin it.

  24. On the bright side. You've got such a fun topic that apparently everyone in the blogsphere world wants to comment on it. Moreover, assuming the worst does happen you have irrefutable proof you tried! And finally it'd make for one interesting story in the end. Your adventure of boob-loss dress-fix.