Tuesday, 24 June 2008

And I'm So Tense, Never Tenser Could All Go A Bit Frank Spencer

I've been feeling a bit tense lately and seem to be getting into petty arguments with, um, everyone I speak to (like the "discussion" I had with the grocery clerk about the difference between Bits & Bites and Ritz Bits. In my defense, they're two completely different snack foods (with two different prices) and if you're going to take the lazy route and scan one twice instead of individually scanning each package, you don't scan the more expensive one. Am I right? I'm right!)

So, uhh, I'm tense. I decided that I'd try to cut caffeine out of my diet for a week, to see if it made any difference. Yesterday was the first day of the experiment. It was also the last day. I'm sitting here with a giant coffee in front of me and everything is right with the world. Don't judge me.

I need to come up with a different tension-relieving plan. I've tried all the usual suspects and so far gin is the only thing that's come close to working. Relying on gin to relieve stress seems like a really bad plan so I've got to come up with something else. Suggestions welcome.


  1. The newf gets almost free massages through his crazy teacher health plan. He likes to rub that in my face a lot. Maybe having a stranger touch your naked body would relax you?


    It's not like I'M volunteering!

    Stick with the gin or at least put baily's in your coffee big gulp

  2. You're totally right about the snacks. That would have pissed me off as well.

    When I get stressed, I turn to the rum & Coke, but I also go for a run or listen to music (generally the quieter stuff - not Linkin Park, like I accidentally did the other night when I needed some quiet tunes. Whoops!). A nice hot bath with candles is always good too.

    Hope you find something to help you de-stress.

  3. exercise? sex? smiling more? laughing out loud?

  4. Umm, gin is key. Maybe hanging out with the girls and just relaxing and chatting. I sort of suck at unwinding without out booze or ciggies. Hope the tenseness goes away soon!

  5. massages! (check and see if you have a massage school near you - there's one about 10 mins from my house that gives hour-long massages for $20 (!!!!!!!!!!!) because they're technically students. not that i can tell or care, 45 mins into a full body massage..)



  6. My girlfriend went through this too. She started with cutting the sodas out first. Don't know if you do soda too, or just coffee, but you definitely have to ease it back. After she got rid of the soda, we started easing off on the number of coffee scoops we used each morning. You may not brew your own, though.

    It's tough stuff.

  7. Um, I was going to suggest exercise. But, I like the offering of sex (as a form of exercise, of course) and massages. Yes, deep tissue massages followed up by facials. If you can afford it, do it!

  8. Exercise. Kick boxing is GREAT for relieving tension.

    So is sex, but you probably knew that.

    Combining the two could give you a good laugh, as well.

  9. Keep the IV of coffee going, and contact a doctor for the latest pharmacutical wonderdrugs. Works for me.

  10. Ha! I had the same experience when I attempted to cut back on caffeine. The only thing that every really helps my stress is getting extra sleep. Which is, you know, not exactly possible most of the time.

  11. Yes to both massages and exercise. And sex. All of them are my go-to stress relievers.

    Especially a good angry workout where in my head I change all the words coming out of my ipod to things like "Fuck you, you fucking fucker asshole wanker batshit douchebag."

    (Perhaps that was a little too revealing?)

  12. when I'm stressed I go shopping-- not that it's great for my bank account, but it always works.

  13. CATS!
    Or, well, in your case, DOGS!
    Petting them, I mean.
    Finding some time everyday to just chilling and veggie out, on the computer, watching TV, reading, having a bath, sexing. You know. You time :D

  14. I think you need to add some lovely entertainment to the gin-drinking. Maybe some well-timed, solid-color tie burning? Hmm?

    And that grocery thing would've pissed me right off. Hey, how about slapping around a grocery clerk with a box of Ritz Bits?? That would TOTALLY relax me. Well, that plus the gin and tie-burning.

  15. I know all about relying on the liquor... I have some wine, A BOTTLE, not ina glass just in the bottle next to me. Is that a problem? eh.

  16. Ben's comment made me laugh. With planning a wedding, i think it's necessary to feel stressed. Awful, right? Maybe a night out with friends. Get away from it all. And bring on the alcohol. It works.