I am busy drinking too much and sunning myself in the Dominican Republic this week. Internet access is sparse and let's be honest, any time I spend on the internet is reserved for harassing my mom and Shawn's mom for puppy updates. Sooo ... in lieu of guest posters (because clearly I am not cool enough for guest posters) I have written about the bloggers I love and set my blog to post a new one daily. We all know that technology is not my strong point so I'm hoping I don't come home to find that my blog has imploded. Have a great week, peeps!
Lemon Gloria's blog name is a variation of her porn name. This alone made me love her. (And made me very jealous that I didn't think of it first. Two L's Please could have been Smudgie Chateau. If only.)
Lisa makes me laugh my ass off or breaks my heart. Reading her blog, you get the feeling that she feels big (not size-wise, dumbasses, I know better than to insult a pregnant lady); she loves big, she hurts big, she fears big. If I had to describe her writing in one word, it would be "raw." I don't mean raw as in rough or crude (though she does swear like a sailor) or unrefined. I mean raw emotion, raw humour, raw feeling. (The word raw has just lost meaning to me. Does that happen to you? You type or say a word too many times and then all of a sudden you're all "Huh. That looks funny. What does that mean?")
Further proof that Lemon Gloria is fucking fabulous:
I feel like I understand her crazy, as much as anyone can really understand another person's crazy. And when I emailed her to tell her how much of a creepy fanboy I am? She didn't run away in fear.
While wedding planning last year, she had to deal with some "fuckity fucks." Her revenge? Peeing in an out-of-the-way corner of the uppity historical venue. Okay that's a lie. She didn't pee in a corner but she did think about peeing in a corner and she blogged about it. And that's the important thing, right? Blogging about outrageous things to make your readers laugh?
She thinks that babies should be hatched from eggs instead of pushed out of ladies' fancy parts.
She believes there is no such thing as too much cheese.
And my personal favourite; she called her unborn son an asshole. And meant it.
Dear Lisa,
You are hilarious. That is all.
Love Hillary
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
And When My Mirror Speaks It Never Minces Words
I am busy drinking too much and sunning myself in the Dominican Republic this week. Internet access is sparse and let's be honest, any time I spend on the internet is reserved for harassing my mom and Shawn's mom for puppy updates. Sooo ... in lieu of guest posters (because clearly I am not cool enough for guest posters) I have written about the bloggers I love and set my blog to post a new one daily. We all know that technology is not my strong point so I'm hoping I don't come home to find that my blog has imploded. Have a great week, peeps!
I can't remember how I found Nilsa but I do remember feeling that instant bloggy-connection. You know the one, where you're reading a blog and you feel like you're reading an email from a friend. Nilsa recently moved to SoMi Speaks. I have to say, the old design was nice but the new blog looks fantastic.
Nilsa is intelligent and opinionated and, maybe most importantly, diplomatic. I enjoy reading her writing because she has strong opinions on a variety of topics but presents them in a way that no one ends up feeling ostracized. There have been times that Nilsa has disagreed with me and she let me know in a way that didn't make me feel attacked or judged. It is so refreshing to encounter someone who will tell you why she doesn't agree with you without telling you that you're wrong or that you need to feel or think a different way.
Nilsa's blog is a mix of family stuff and exercise stuff and life stuff and friend stuff ... and just stuff stuff. I can not label Somi Speaks as a certain "type" of blog. Nilsa writes about a little bit of everything.
Plus she's a dog person so that alone makes me love her.
I can't remember how I found Nilsa but I do remember feeling that instant bloggy-connection. You know the one, where you're reading a blog and you feel like you're reading an email from a friend. Nilsa recently moved to SoMi Speaks. I have to say, the old design was nice but the new blog looks fantastic.
Nilsa is intelligent and opinionated and, maybe most importantly, diplomatic. I enjoy reading her writing because she has strong opinions on a variety of topics but presents them in a way that no one ends up feeling ostracized. There have been times that Nilsa has disagreed with me and she let me know in a way that didn't make me feel attacked or judged. It is so refreshing to encounter someone who will tell you why she doesn't agree with you without telling you that you're wrong or that you need to feel or think a different way.
Nilsa's blog is a mix of family stuff and exercise stuff and life stuff and friend stuff ... and just stuff stuff. I can not label Somi Speaks as a certain "type" of blog. Nilsa writes about a little bit of everything.
Plus she's a dog person so that alone makes me love her.
Monday, 11 May 2009
Born On The Cusp In The Month Of November
I am busy drinking too much and sunning myself in the Dominican Republic this week. Internet access is sparse and let's be honest, any time I spend on the internet is reserved for harassing my mom and Shawn's mom for puppy updates. Sooo ... in lieu of guest posters (because clearly I am not cool enough for guest posters) I have written about the bloggers I love and set my blog to post a new one daily. We all know that technology is not my strong point so I'm hoping I don't come home to find that my blog has imploded. Have a great week, peeps!
Mermanda at Cusp of Normal
How do I love Mermanda? Let me count the ways.
Mermanda and I are both Thanksgiving babies. We may live in different countries and think that the other spells "favourite" incorrectly (for the record, Mermanda spells it incorrectly) but we are united by our love for blowing out birthday candles on pumpkin pie rather than birthday cake.
Mermanda can make normal household items look like balls. She is engaged to a man who not only makes cooking videos, he also tries to make her drink poop water. Speaking of being engaged, when Andrew proposed, Mermanda had a mullet! How can you not love this lady?
Mermanda makes me laugh with her theories on Candy Standardization and monocles. I can't link to them because they're not posts but I can copy & paste (like a boss!)
*disclaimer* I am not plagiarizing Mermanda. These are her words. Her wit. Her craziness. I can only hope that one day I will be as funny as her. Oh and we were talking about the difference between Canadian Smarties (the real Smarties) and American smarties (ROCKETS!)
" Why does Canada and the U.S. have to make things so damn difficult by renaming candy? If you elect me as President of the North American Union, I promise to make candy standardized from the tippy top of Canada to the bottomest part of Mexico. Never again will you have to
wonder "Which Smarties is she talking about?"
Also, I'll name you Treasury of Monocles.
Elect me. Amanda.
Paid for by Citizens For Candy Standardization."
In conclusion, you should all head over and love all up on Mermanda. Thank you.
Mermanda at Cusp of Normal
How do I love Mermanda? Let me count the ways.
Mermanda and I are both Thanksgiving babies. We may live in different countries and think that the other spells "favourite" incorrectly (for the record, Mermanda spells it incorrectly) but we are united by our love for blowing out birthday candles on pumpkin pie rather than birthday cake.
Mermanda can make normal household items look like balls. She is engaged to a man who not only makes cooking videos, he also tries to make her drink poop water. Speaking of being engaged, when Andrew proposed, Mermanda had a mullet! How can you not love this lady?
Mermanda makes me laugh with her theories on Candy Standardization and monocles. I can't link to them because they're not posts but I can copy & paste (like a boss!)
*disclaimer* I am not plagiarizing Mermanda. These are her words. Her wit. Her craziness. I can only hope that one day I will be as funny as her. Oh and we were talking about the difference between Canadian Smarties (the real Smarties) and American smarties (ROCKETS!)
" Why does Canada and the U.S. have to make things so damn difficult by renaming candy? If you elect me as President of the North American Union, I promise to make candy standardized from the tippy top of Canada to the bottomest part of Mexico. Never again will you have to
wonder "Which Smarties is she talking about?"
Also, I'll name you Treasury of Monocles.
Elect me. Amanda.
Paid for by Citizens For Candy Standardization."
In conclusion, you should all head over and love all up on Mermanda. Thank you.
Friday, 8 May 2009
Yeah We Slow Hands
Turtle made me watch this video last night. I was really stressed and had a million things to do and honestly, was a little annoyed that she was so insistent that I watch it. So I grumbled a little and sat down to watch it and then I died a little inside because the cuteness! It kills!
I must have one. Shawn said he'd divorce me but whatever, who needs a husband when you have a slow loris?
I must have one. Shawn said he'd divorce me but whatever, who needs a husband when you have a slow loris?
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
They Left Us Alone In The Maelstrom As You Can See We're All Clearly Alive
We found out Friday night that the wedding is back on and we leave for the Dominican Republic this weekend. The news set off a celebration from Shawn and his brother and a maelstrom of activity from yours truly.
On one hand I was very pleased to know that in a week I would be in the sun, my most taxing decision being which tropical cocktail to enjoy next. On the other hand, I was fretting about everything that needed to be done before we left. Stuff that I had put on the back burner when the Mexican holiday was cancelled: picking up a new box of contacts, getting my birth control prescription renewed, changing Canadian money into US dollars. Important things that can't be put off until we return.
And now it's Tuesday and I have yet to complete any of my Imperative Tasks. Instead of checking items off my list, I keep adding to it: arrange transportation to the airport now that the flight time has changed and we need to be at the airport at 4am; buy dog food so the pups don't starve while we're away; host Mother's Day dinner because if we don't celebrate Mother's Day before we leave, the next time our entire family can be together is mid June.
On top of all that, I woke up this morning feeling like shite. I think I have a bladder infection. I was planning to go to the walk-in clinic today anyway (birth control prescription) so I'll hopefully be able to get some antibiotics to clear it up. I just don't want to deal with it.
I really don't mean to sound so complainy. I'm ridiculously excited to have a week off work. I went out and bought five new books this weekend to take with me (I have my priorities straight, ha.) I am loading up my ipod with various summer-fun-time playlists. I have stopped fretting about the size of my thighs (though I'm pretty sure the fretting will restart when I actually have to be in a bikini.) The next few days will be madness but after that? Bliss. Pure sunshiney bliss.
On one hand I was very pleased to know that in a week I would be in the sun, my most taxing decision being which tropical cocktail to enjoy next. On the other hand, I was fretting about everything that needed to be done before we left. Stuff that I had put on the back burner when the Mexican holiday was cancelled: picking up a new box of contacts, getting my birth control prescription renewed, changing Canadian money into US dollars. Important things that can't be put off until we return.
And now it's Tuesday and I have yet to complete any of my Imperative Tasks. Instead of checking items off my list, I keep adding to it: arrange transportation to the airport now that the flight time has changed and we need to be at the airport at 4am; buy dog food so the pups don't starve while we're away; host Mother's Day dinner because if we don't celebrate Mother's Day before we leave, the next time our entire family can be together is mid June.
On top of all that, I woke up this morning feeling like shite. I think I have a bladder infection. I was planning to go to the walk-in clinic today anyway (birth control prescription) so I'll hopefully be able to get some antibiotics to clear it up. I just don't want to deal with it.
I really don't mean to sound so complainy. I'm ridiculously excited to have a week off work. I went out and bought five new books this weekend to take with me (I have my priorities straight, ha.) I am loading up my ipod with various summer-fun-time playlists. I have stopped fretting about the size of my thighs (though I'm pretty sure the fretting will restart when I actually have to be in a bikini.) The next few days will be madness but after that? Bliss. Pure sunshiney bliss.
Monday, 4 May 2009
Carbon's Anniversary The Parting Of The Sensory - 8 & 9
Dear Shawn,
Happy 9th Monthiversary!
I skipped writing an 8th Monthiversary post because I felt very stabby toward you during our 8th month of marriage. You started your new job and you hated it and it made you very difficult to live with. My job continued to grow more and more stressful and it made me very difficult to live with. And on top off all that, Wolfgang had surgery (I know it was routine surgery but that didn't stop me from fretting my fool head off) and you started your own audio video design / installation company. So. We kind of hated each other for a while there. Not true hate, mind you, but that horrible angsty hate where you're so mad at the other person but you still love them to bits and it eats you up inside because you don't want to feel bad for the jerkface who made you cry, you want to punch them in the ear. I'm happy to report that no ears were punched in our 8th month of marriage (I call that success!) I'm also happy to report that things have settled down somewhat. Life is still crazy (because it always is and you knew that before you married me so quit yer belly achin') but it's the good kind of crazy. The kind of crazy where we drink too much rum one night and end up playing rock-paper-scissors at 6am the next morning when the pups need to be let out and neither one of us feels able to stand up without vomiting. Good times.
Love you, dude.
Happy 9th Monthiversary!
I skipped writing an 8th Monthiversary post because I felt very stabby toward you during our 8th month of marriage. You started your new job and you hated it and it made you very difficult to live with. My job continued to grow more and more stressful and it made me very difficult to live with. And on top off all that, Wolfgang had surgery (I know it was routine surgery but that didn't stop me from fretting my fool head off) and you started your own audio video design / installation company. So. We kind of hated each other for a while there. Not true hate, mind you, but that horrible angsty hate where you're so mad at the other person but you still love them to bits and it eats you up inside because you don't want to feel bad for the jerkface who made you cry, you want to punch them in the ear. I'm happy to report that no ears were punched in our 8th month of marriage (I call that success!) I'm also happy to report that things have settled down somewhat. Life is still crazy (because it always is and you knew that before you married me so quit yer belly achin') but it's the good kind of crazy. The kind of crazy where we drink too much rum one night and end up playing rock-paper-scissors at 6am the next morning when the pups need to be let out and neither one of us feels able to stand up without vomiting. Good times.
Love you, dude.
Friday, 1 May 2009
Yes, I'm Gonna Burn One Down
Friday Faff: Haiku Edition
Canucks, you scared me
last night. Giving up a three
goal lead in the third?
Not cool, Luongo.
Good thing Salo managed to
score a big goal. Yay!
One game down, three more
to go. Chicago won't know
what hit them. Go 'Nucks!
We will find out soon
if the wedding is still on
or if it's cancelled.
The Dominican
Republic is possible.
Or maybe Cuba.
I find myself way
too interested in what
the newscasters say.
Swine flu is not swine
flu? H1N1 Virus?
Is this important?
A flu by any
other name would suck as hard.
Call it what it is.
* * * * *
These are not Smarties.
Those are called Rockets. Believe
me, I know candy.
Canucks, you scared me
last night. Giving up a three
goal lead in the third?
Not cool, Luongo.
Good thing Salo managed to
score a big goal. Yay!
One game down, three more
to go. Chicago won't know
what hit them. Go 'Nucks!
* * * * *
We will find out soon
if the wedding is still on
or if it's cancelled.
The Dominican
Republic is possible.
Or maybe Cuba.
I find myself way
too interested in what
the newscasters say.
Swine flu is not swine
flu? H1N1 Virus?
Is this important?
A flu by any
other name would suck as hard.
Call it what it is.
* * * * *
These are not Smarties.
Those are called Rockets. Believe
me, I know candy.
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