My Words Don't Travel Far They Tangle In My Hair And Tend To Go Nowhere They Grow Right Back Inside Right Past My Brain And Eyes Into My Stomach Juice

My May resolutions (to embrace meal planning, drink no pop, eat no fast food, and spend no money on prepared coffee) were a huge failure. May was such a bitch that I ignored my resolutions and just tried to get through the month without completely losing my mind. It turns out that my survival mode includes a lot of french fries and $4 coffee shop lattes. Mid month it became very easy to ignore my resolutions because I had already failed so spectacularly. Why bother trying to salvage my resolutions when french fries are so tasty and prepared coffee is so easy? I'm not proud of my defeatist attitude but it is what it is. May is over and June is set to be my bitch.

June is going to be the month of meal planning. Shawn is going to become more involved in our kitchen (totally against his will, I should point out) and I am going to focus on learning new ways to prepare healthy food. To keep the momentum going, I am resolving to learn two new recipes per week. They don't need to be elaborate or fancy - just two new ways of preparing healthy food. This week I made this spinach and it was glorious.*

I'm excited about this month's resolution. The farmers' markets have started opening and local, fresh produce is becoming available. It's my favourite time of year (just wait til the local strawberries are available - you won't be able to shut me up.)


* Spinach is on my list of food that tastes like dirt (spinach, beets, mangoes, walnuts - don't ask me why, they just all taste like dirt to me) so it was extremely bizarre to be eating it and actually enjoying the taste. The only change to the recipe I made was to add a finely diced red onion to the hot oil and let it brown up nicely before adding the garlic. I don't have the patience for cleaning spinach and I have an aversion to grit in my food, so I used the baby spinach that comes in a box (says that lady who was just gushing about farmers' markets and connecting to local food.) You'll feel like you're using a lot of spinach (I used the whole box) but it renders down significantly as it cooks and you're left with a tiny, fragrant pile of bliss that you'll want to keep all for yourself but you can't because the whole kitchen smells of garlic and lemon and loveliness and your husband will be all "you have to share! What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours. It's called marriage!" and you will shoot him the stink eye but he will ignore it. And then he will eat half of your lovely spinach and you will store the "what's yours is mine and what's mine is yours" argument away in the spiteful part of your brain for the next time he is eating chocolate.

I Know It Ain't Easy But These Are The Roads That We Choose

I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of catch up (not to be confused with a sea of ketchup, though really that sounds kind of yummy) after doing nothing but die of the flu for a week. I'm using this as my excuse for why my March resolution post is being written a third of the way through the month. My blog, my rules, peeps. I did make my March resolution at the beginning of the month, though, and I've been doing my best to follow it.

First, a little review: January was my no spendy month. I was fairly successful. February I resolved to post a photo every day. I managed to post a picture on 25 of 28 days, which in my books is a win.

I think it's safe to say that I like challenges that can be measured. I like to line them up and tick them off my list and in the end I either win or lose.

This month I am forcing myself outside of my comfort zone and making a vague, non-measurable resolution. My March resolution is to make better choices. I could not be more vague, right? Ugh, just thinking about it makes me itchy. Basically I'm tired of this lazy routine I've fallen into and I want to start making conscious decisions to make my life better. Tonight, for example, I will (hopefully) choose to go to karate instead of choosing to sit on my arse and watch the hockey game.

A lot of this month's resolution will revolve around my food choices. The insanity and instability of February killed any good eating habits I'd been enforcing. This month is about meal planning so I don't resort to fast food when I'm hungry and don't know what to make; continuing to shop at the green grocer as well as the regular supermarket so I have lots of fresh produce on hand to make salads; trying new, healthy recipes so I don't get bored; and hopefully starting to feel better about myself.

This month's resolution is not about weight loss or numbers on the scale or deprivation. Last night I was craving pizza so I ate pizza but I chose to make homemade pizza with lots of veggie toppings instead of ordering greasy pepperoni pizza. It wasn't as satisfying as a dirty sausage pizza would have been but it felt good to know that I wasn't mindlessly following my instinct (for grease and salt), I was making the better choice. March is the month to abolish apathy. Who's with me?

Late At Night And The Spirit Moves Me

Dearest Blackberry,

Why did you fall into my coffee? Why couldn't you fall beside my coffee? Or just not fall at all? Please don't die. I will miss you. I'm sorry that I dropped you down that flight of concrete steps that one time. I'm sorry for the alfredo sauce incident. Please. Don't leave me.

Yours, with shame and woe,

Hillary

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Dear Internet,

New blackberry or upgrade to an iphone?

Love,

Really Can't Be Arsed To Learn How To Use A New Phone

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Dear Wolfgang,

I took you to my parents' place tonight so that you could cheer up my mom, not so that you could poop in my brother's bedroom.

Sincerely,

Not Amused

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Dear Westy,

I'm sorry that Wolfgang pooped in your bedroom. I kept him close to me all night but he did manage to slip away at one point. He was only gone for a few minutes and he came as soon as I called, so I thought everything was alright. If I thought that he had pooped somewhere in the house, I would have looked for it and cleaned it up. I'm sorry that Wolfie's poop stewed in your room for a few hours until it was discovered. Thank you for sending me a funny text message when you found it instead of being mad. Also, yes, he does really poop that big and yes, it is wild.

You rock.

Love,

Totally Buying You Beer This Weekend

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Day 26 of my month of photos: Olympic spirit around town.

People Pushing Through Their Mittens As I Was Beginning To Feel It Soaking Through My Shoes

I woke up this morning to grey skies and rain. I got drenched on the way to work (umbrellas are for wusses! Or, you know, people who forget their umbrellas at work.) Now the sun is out and the sky is blue. I can't take this weather limbo! Either be winter or be summer. Actually, just be summer.

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Shawn is on Twitter. His plan of going back to school was derailed by our mutual love of our dual-income lifestyle so his new plan consists of (finally) finishing his album, getting a website, and selling said album on said website. My new plan consists of making him use Twitter and Facebook to reach more people. So if you're on Twitter you should probably follow him. He's pretty funny. And he says "balls" a lot (just ask my family members; every one of them have received a birthday or holiday card at some point with a random "BALLS!" written in it by Shawn.)

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Have you heard of the Olympic red mittens? They're kind of a big deal. I've got a pair but only because my mom snagged a bunch a few months ago.

Day 25 of my month of photos:

This statue of Robert Burns stands across from the Vancouver Rowing Club in Stanley Park. It's a little difficult to see because the photo is small, but a pair of Olympic red mittens hangs around his neck.

My Arms Get Cold In February Air Please Don't Lose Hold Of Me Out There And I Know This Place Like The Back Of My Hands

February is bleak.

It is cold and rainy; it is months until the next long weekend; it is a love holiday that makes me feel uncomfortable and twitchy (which is an improvement from how it used to make me feel - alone and depressed); it is too much family time, with my dad's and brother's birthdays 12 days apart; it is sad, with my late grandpa's and gone-too-soon cousin's birthdays days from Westy's and Dad's. February is grey skies and rain clouds. Dry skin and chapped lips. Dark mornings and early evenings. February is too long despite being the shortest month.

This February was different. Not only because of the giant party that is the Olympics (my liver died on Sunday night; I'm not sure whether the tequila or the beer is responsible so I'll assign equal blame) but because we were blessed with amazing weather. A full week of blue skies, sunshine, and warm-enough-to-leave-your-jacket-at-home weather. The cherry blossoms bloomed, the crocuses were fooled into thinking that Spring had arrived, and my heart was happy.

The rain started last night. This morning I did not wake up to sunshine filtering through my eyelids. February is bleak once again.

Day 24 of my month of photos:

A float plane leaving Vancouver harbour with North Vancouver and the North Shore Mountains in the distance.

Jailhouse Gets Empty Rudy Gets Plenty

Day 22 of my month of photos:

Rudy the piglet. Rudy doesn't belong to us (oh but I wish he was mine.) He belongs to our friend. Until I figure out a way to steal him, that is.

The story of Rudy is a bit random - and to be completely honest I was ridiculously inebriated last night so I'm a tad unclear on the details - but the gist of it is that our friend was offered a 10-week old piglet two days ago so he accepted.

And now we are all giving up bacon because HOW CAN YOU EAT BACON WHEN IT COULD BE RELATED TO RUDY?!

Piggy's On The Floor Getting Some Sun

Day 20 of my month of photos: FAIL

Day 21 of my month of photos: a video:

Why yes, that is a real piglet and I am telling it to "oink like a pig." No, there was no alcohol involved in the making of this video. Okay the the alcohol thing is a lie but the rest is true.

What If I Just Flip Flopped? Down Is The New Up

Friday Faff: Confessions

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I bought $42 face moisturizer.

I tend to be casual about my appearance (I go months without a haircut, pulling my hair back into a ponytail to hide the split ends; I forgo wearing makeup to work if it means ten more minutes of sleep; I wear yoga pants - often - even though I do not do yoga) but the one thing I am vain about is my skin. I've noticed a lot of dryness in my skin lately. Horrible, flaky dryness. I know I should rehydrate my skin from the inside out but I drink a lot of water and nothing changes. So I bought $42 face moisturizer. I'm not sure how I feel about being someone who spends $42 on moisturizer. The Clinique lady promised that the moisturizer wouldn't spoil for 2 years so really it's like I am spending $21 a year on face cream. That's less than $2 a month. Still. $42 is almost half of my monthly transit pass.

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I rode the motorcycle.

I know. I KNOW! Only five months ago I was all ranty ranty about the motorcycle. After the initial rage and fretting cooled down, though, I was left with curiosity. I wanted to experience what all the fuss was about; I wanted to see why he loved the motorcycle so much. Then last Monday, Shawn picked me up from work. He thought he was being wily, offering to pick me up from work knowing that I would assume he'd be driving the car, then showing up on his motorcycle with a brand new helmet for me to wear. We rode home and I felt what he feels on the bike. I now understand why it appeals to him. I'm not a fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I feel less anxious about the situation. I'm not sure that I'll ever get back on the bike but I'm not ruling it out either.

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Day 19 of my month of photos:


The Vancouver Art Gallery (or VAG. Seriously.)
Vancouver is experiencing beautiful weather right now. The sun is shining, the sky is clear (and blue! as in, not grey! in February!) and the cherry blossoms are blooming.

Blow Out That Cherry Bomb For Me

Day 18 0f my month of photos:

Hotel Vancouver, blue sky, balloons, and cherry blossoms. A perfect afternoon.

No Tragedy No Poetry Just Staring At The Sky

Day 17 of my month of photos:

The city from Stanley Park with the Vectorial Elevation behind the buildings.

In The Light You Will Find The Road

Day 16 of my month of photos:

The Olympic cauldron at night.

It Takes A Crane To Build A Crane It Takes Two Floors To Make a Storey

Day 15 of my month of photos:

A patriotic crane in the business district.

And I Said That Kind Of Talk Only Adds Intrigue To The Cauldron Of Thought

Day 14 of my month of photos:

The Olympic cauldron.

There'll Be Swingin' Swayin' And Records Playin'

Day 13 of my month of photos:

The flash mob that dominated Robson Street this afternoon.

Turtle dancing her arse off in the flash mob that dominated Robson Street this afternoon.

Nailed it!

You May Ask Why I Want To Torch My Home Town

Day 12 of my month of photos:

If you look directly below the traffic light on the right you can see the Olympic torch. This morning it was a block away from my office so I walked down to check it out. I didn't get very close because of the crowd, and I only had my little point-and-shoot camera, but I was there and it was ... exciting. I was surprised by my reaction because I did not support the Olympics being in Vancouver. The energy and buzz of the city is hard to ignore, though, and I have found myself fully swept up in the Olympic fever.

And When I Get That Feeling

When I found out about my mom's busted pelvis, I told Shawn that we needed to find some cheeseburgers, stat. He then proceeded to sing a song (that he composed on the spot) called "Emotional Eating" sung to the tune of "Sexual Healing." I love that guy.

Day 11 of my month of photos:

Looking up at the Lookout at Harbour Centre through the open-air glass dome of Grant Thornton Place.

And There's No Amount Of Reason That Could Save Me So Break Me

Yesterday my mom fell while ice skating and broke her pelvis. Old people break their pelvises (pelvi?) My mom is not an old person. And yet her pelvis is broken. I cannot reconcile the two.

Day 10 of my month of photos:

Lions Gate Bridge (again) taken from the seawall (on a different night so it still counts!)

And If I Could Remember If I Could Find A Place A Time The Space To See Another Way Home

My coffee ban is over and I cannot tell you how happy that makes me. I was going to try to go a month without coffee but then I got accepted into a sleep disorder program (yay!) Part of the program is keeping a two week sleep diary, staying as close to my regular routine as possible. My regular routine involves coffee so continuing the coffee ban would be dishonest and foolish and maybe a little illegal (trying too hard to justify my love for caffeine? me? never!)

I probably would have gone back to coffee anyway as this week my commute has gone from simply annoying to downright rage-inducing. I just have to keep reminding myself that in three weeks the Olympics will be over and the tourists will be gone and the road closures won't be in effect and I can breathe again. Serenity now.

Day 9 of my month of photos:

Science World at night. Since taking my daylight photo of Science World, fences have gone up and security has increased.

Up And Above The Clouds The Only Way To Fly

I have a confession. I watch The Bachelor. Religiously. I am emotionally invested in Jake's happiness. I didn't start watching the Bachelor until the Jason/Molly/Melissa season so I know that I'm fairly new to the Bachelor but I feel like the Bachelor has been in my life forever. I do not remember my life pre-Bachelor (not that I want to.)

Okay that may be a bit of an exaggeration. I don't Google the Bachelor contestants. I don't know their last names. I don't even know their hometowns (though that will be remedied in a few hours.) I am just very wrapped up in the silliness that is this show. Do you watch the Bachelor? Do you know who Jake is? Do you love him? Hate him? (Me? I'm undecided.)

Part of why I love watching the Bachelor is because Shawn and I watch it with another couple (our road trip buddies.) One week we host Bachelor night and the following week they have us over to their house. We eat yummy food, rate the crazy, mock Jake for being such a wiener (I'm trying to like him, I swear) and count the number of times the instrumental version of "On the Wings of Love" plays in the background. On tonight's menu? Chicken wings of love. *Sigh* I almost love Monday because of the Bachelor. Almost.

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Day 8 of my month of photos:

The Sails of Canada Place viewed from Stanley Park.

A Clock Is Ticking But It's Hidden Far Away Safe And Sound

Day 7 of my month of photos:

The newly restored historic Birks clock.

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Shawn had a Man Cold last week and I wasn't as sympathetic as I could have been.

Of course I've now caught it (stupid karma!) Wolfgang and I spent the weekend lying about and moaning about stuffy noses and large needles. I'm not quite ready for the weekend to be finished.