In order to make life easier for both of us, I feel I should clarify a few things with you.
First of all, the next time you pee on my bed, you're headed back to the farm from whence you came. I am not kidding. The first few times it happened I let it go with minimal angst. You were very young and very tiny and I was stupid for expecting you to have the bladder capacity of Stella. I instigated a No Wolfgang on the Bed rule and life returned to normal.
Over the last month, we've made great strides in the housebreaking department. You have had fewer accidents and finally seemed to realize that peeing outside = peanut butter treats and extra love. Life was getting good, Wolfgang, for both of us.
Until last night. Last night you were allowed to play with Stella on the bed while I read my book.
And you peed.
On the bed.
This has got to stop. If you can't grasp this simple concept (bed = no pee) you will be confined to your crate (aka the one place you have not yet peed in.)
Which brings me to my next point. Your crate is your safe place. It is spacious and comfortable and has an assortment of blankets and toys. The rule is that you go into your crate when we go to bed, seeing as you can't be trusted to not pee all over the damn place. This means that when you need to pee during the night, I have to get up to let you out. Which I don't mind doing at all. I understand that you're small and you have a small bladder and you need to have a nighttime pee. What I don't understand is why you felt the need to wake me up at 1am, 3am, and 6am this morning. You managed to squeak out a bit of pee at 1am and 3am (and then immediately run to the treat container for your reward) but by 6am you had given up the ruse. When I opened your crate, you didn't run to the door but instead ran to your food bowl and wagged your tail. You're cute Wolfgang, but you're not that cute.
Next week you will be six months old. Two weeks after that, you are having the operation that I'm hoping will solve all of our pee woes. I'm not sure what I will do if you continue to mark your territory after the operation. Most likely, I will cry a lot and write nasty letters to you on the internet. Scary, I know.
Love (though I am discovering that my love for you is conditional),