I have the throat of death again, which means that my diet has been reduced to liquids and viscous substances. I'm all about the scrambled eggs and rice pudding right now. My mom is a firm believer in the healing properties of homemade soup so I decided to make myself a giant pot of butternut squash soup. I love squash but I don't often buy it because Shawn doesn't eat it and then I'm stuck eating squash leftovers for a week. I've never prepared a butternut squash before, is what I'm saying. I was completely unprepared for all the burning and crying. Butternut squash is evil. Butternut squash can be a moody bitch . Butternut squash should come with a warning label. My left hand (the hand that held the squash as I peeled it) was swollen and painful. The skin was chapped and reddish-orange. My skin was so tight that it ripped when I tried to straighten my fingers.
Dr. Google told me that I was suffering from "cucurbita moschata dermatitis" which is just a fancy name for "wtf, nature, wtf?"
My hand is almost back to normal now, two days later, but the psychological scars remain. I think the moral of this story is that trying to be healthy is not worth the pain and agony it can cause. From now on I'm eating cheeseburgers.