Sunday 22 November 2009

And I Feel Anxious Sleeping Inches From Me

I spent the entire trip to my doctor's office feeling more and more surly, composing withering monologues in my head. I arrived for my appointment five minutes early and then sat in the exam room for twenty minutes, my resolve fading every time I heard footsteps outside the closed door. By the time my doctor entered the room any desire to confront her had been suppressed by my extreme anxiety at seeing her again. I spent the first five minutes of the appointment reminding myself to breathe.

Everything turned out to be fine. My doctor didn't mention what happened the last time I saw her so neither did I. It was rather anticlimactic, actually. I was so affected by her words and spent so much time and energy worrying about my situation with disliking my doctor so strongly and not being able to find a new doctor, and in the end it was completely unnecessary. I am so neurotic sometimes, it's ridiculous.

12 comments:

  1. *hug* The universe conspires in weird ways to get us over things. Good job girl - you did well. xo

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  2. i'm glad you ended up going through with it though.

    hope everything was ok

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  3. I’m glad it all worked out – I love when things like this happen; I remember psyching myself out in the leadup to teaching my first class a few weeks ago (this was a HUGE deal after coming out of a pretty severe anxiety problem) – I went and did it, got amazing feedback, and then laughed at how silly I’d been to worry myself so sick!! I’m happy this worked out for you – I have an appointment with my doctor this week, and I’ve been thinking of switching doctors too since every time I see him he refers me somewhere else that has zero clue what to do with me, and he just isn’t doing anything to help me at all. Fingers crossed :S

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  4. I'm not sure why we spend so much time stressing about things we shouldn't be stressing about (oh I do a lot of the same). Because in the end we worry ourselves silly and everything works out just fine.

    So glad your visit went well!

    p.s. I'll let you know if I find the secret to not stressing out.

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  5. I'm so glad this all worked out! Even if that must be more than a little frustrating, it's so much better than having another bad experience.

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  6. So glad it went ok. I'm still keepin my eye out for you though!

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  7. And...that's exactly why we are friends. ;)

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  8. for the record, i don't think stressing over this visit makes you neurotic. that woman was wildly unprofessional and made sweeping personal assumptions about you last time; i totally don't think stress over seeing her again is inappropriate! i'm glad it went fine, though :-)

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  9. I think doctors are particularly stressful because they're held up as these big authority figures. And the idea of confronting one, even when you know they've been inappropriate, is scary. Particularly when you need them. I'm glad it went fine.

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  10. Awww, muffin, I'm sorry you got so worried for no reason, but at the same time, I'm VERY glad she wasn't an asshat to you again!!

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  11. Not neutoric. AT ALL. I would have written a complaint about your doctor if it had been me. Kudos for standing up for yourself by not allowing her comments to detour you from seeing her again. You're no hider! You're a fighter! Just read the whole story and I'm actually trembling a little bit. How. Awful. I'm so glad you wrote about it. Thank you.

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  12. Not terribly happy you are still seeing this wench, but glad it wasn't as scary as you thought it would be.

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