Wednesday, 7 November 2007

So if you're crazy, I don't care you amaze me

I turned 25 almost a month ago and I still don't feel like a grownup. I'm doing grownup things and trying really hard to feel like I'm not a fraud, but I'm not succeeding. Today we met with the lawyers to sign our mortgage stuff (I don't even know what it's called. See? Not a grownup.) You'd think that buying our first home would make me feel a little like a grownup, but no. Not so much. Instead, I feel like a kid who's playing house. Already planning what furniture needs replacing and what goodies we're going to buy instead of worrying how we're going to pay the property tax bill we're going to be hit with in a few months. S is not helping matters, tempting me with visions of a new tv! in the bedroom! instead of figuring out what our monthly utility bill will be. Not that we could figure it out if we wanted to - we've never lived anywhere where you had to pay utilities; the landlord always took care of it and included it in the rent. Now we're our own landlords and it's scary. Who will we call when something breaks? Realistically, we'll be calling my dad but I'd like to think that we'll be okay on our own. We get the keys to our new place on Saturday. Maybe then I'll start to feel like a grownup.

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