Friday, 29 June 2012

I'm Delirious With Chaos

Grady has been doing so well for the last week that I didn't let myself fret when I couldn't track down the results of the tests run on Father's Day. He had blood taken last Sunday to check his neutrophils level and I made an appointment for him to see his doctor today so she could give us the all clear.

Grady has been fever free for over a week and his appetite returned full force so I thought that the appointment would just be a formality so we could move on and forget about these past weeks.

Grady's doctor called me yesterday and requested that I bring him to see her. Immediately. She kept her voice light but when I told her we had an appointment to see her on Friday anyway and could it just wait until then, her voice got less light and she told me that no, it couldn't wait another day, and I really did need to bring Grady in to see her.

She couldn't / wouldn't tell me much over the phone, just that Grady's latest blood work showed staph and critically low neutrophils and this was worrying because he had completed a round of antibiotics.

And then my head melted and I went into full on panic mode because staph is one thing, staph that doesn't respond to antibiotics is a whole different thing. I was at work when I got the call so I had to take the train home, hyperventilating the whole way.

Shawn was eerily calm. He kept telling me that there was no way Grady could have a staph infection. He had no fever. He was happy. He was eating and sleeping well. He was playing and chattering and laughing. He was showing no signs of being ill.

For some reason, Shawn's calmness has never comforted me. It's almost like his refusal to worry means that I have to do all the worrying for both of us. Maybe that means we're well matched. I don't know. Probably it means I need more therapy.

Our afternoon was confusing and horrible and I really don't have much to write about it because all I remember is being in a permanent state of clenchiness and breathlessness. The end result is good - Grady is absolutely fine. There was a major miscommunication somewhere down the line (there were two hospitals, four hospital visits, two specialists, one lab, and Grady's doctor's office involved in his care - which provided too much opportunity for fuck ups) and the wrong test results were presented as his most recent test results. His Father's Day results - which showed staph and a neutrophil level of 0.2 - were given to my doctor as the results from last Sunday's blood work. I don't know who is responsible for the screw up. When it was discovered I was on such a high of "my kid is okay!" that I didn't have room in me to be mad (after a sleepless night of post-fretting adrenaline crash and nightmares last night? I HAVE SO MUCH ROOM IN ME TO BE MAD.)

Once the mix up was discovered, and the correct test results located, we were told that Grady is absolutely fine. His neutrophils are still low but they're in the normal range (and much higher than they were last week) so he's been given a clean bill of health. And really, that's the most important thing (I say while still seething over the clusterfuck.)


  1. That is such a huge relief. HUGE RELIEF. And how good to know that if something WERE really wrong, your doctor would be RIGHT ON IT and wouldn't fuffle around thinking it was no big deal and could wait another day.

    When Paul is calm, I think he's just being that way to try to calm me down, which makes me feel like he's calling me stupid and crazy, PLUS of course I feel he's totally wrong (and possibly stupid and crazy) not to see how much reason there is to be upset.

  2. Thank goodness he's okay. I've been holding my breathe reading your updates on twitter!

  3. How scary!! I'm so glad to hear that he's okay!

    My husband and I take turns being calm. It's as if one senses/sees that the Other is freaking out and automatically goes into a calm mode. Maybe that's what Shawn was doing for you.

  4. Oh, MAN. I'm so sorry you had to deal with all of this.

    I'm glad he's okay, obviously, but I think you have every right to be angry.

  5. What an awful experience! I'm so glad that he is back to normal.

  6. Doesn't this whole experience make you excited for when we age and have different doctors and specialists in charge of our care??? Sigh. VERY GLAD to hear sweet Grady is just fine.

  7. Oh wow. That must have been a heart-stopping phone call. I'm so glad Grady is on the mend and feeling more like himself.

  8. So, SO glad he's ok! What an awful ordeal.

  9. So very, very glad Grady is doing well again! I'd definitely want to punch those people who made a mistake. UGH. But so glad the little dude is fine!

  10. What a scare! I'm glad he is ok. Hope you get some sleep, lady.

  11. Oh my goodness! What a horrible mix up. I'm so glad that he's okay!