It's Saturday night. I haven't showered since ... yesterday? Maybe? My hair was gross so I pulled it back into a ponytail. I grabbed whatever clothes were in the pile beside my bed and got dressed. My outfit consisted of jeans that I had to roll up because they dragged on the floor because I usually wear them with 3-inch heels. Canvas flats that are covered in cartoonish owls (they sound cute. They aren't. But they are comfortable.) A tank top that I've been wearing as a pyjama top for a shameful amount of days (with no bra on underneath, obviously) and a bright orange hoodie. I think it goes without saying that I was not wearing makeup.
So I head to the feminine hygiene product aisle where I have a bit of a crisis. My brand is massively on sale so of course it's sold out. I don't have a backup brand so I decide to buy a variety of brands to pick a reliable backup so I will never again have a feminine hygiene product crisis. I load up on three boxes of assorted ladybits products and head towards the cereal aisle.
Where I run into one of my ex-boyfriends ... or his identical twin brother. I honestly don't know which guy it was (which, yes, I know, makes me look a bit bad but in my defense, when I dated the guy I could always tell which one was which AND I dated him a million years ago so let's not get too judgey, okay?)
So we're awkwardly making small talk and he asks what I'm doing in the giant, soulless megastore on a Saturday night and I make a comment about how I'm sick and just stocking up on the essentials. At which point he looks in my basket. My basket of assorted lady products AND NOTHING ELSE.
It was awesome.
Even more awesome was when he craned his neck to look around me and into my basket again as he told me about this vapour mask thingy that his mom is using because she's really sick right now and the mask really works and I should pick one up. At which point I may have become really shrill as I told him it was really nice running into him and I had to go and take care and byeeeee as I ran into the nearest aisle. Which just happened to be the cat food aisle. Because nothing says "I've grown since dating you (or your brother) and I'm a mature adult with an enviable life" like buying tampons and cat food on a Saturday night.