An Old Piece Of Bacon Never Eaten By Elvis

If Rudy is reason enough to give up eating bacon, surely the mothereffing swine flu is an acceptable reason to resume eating bacon, yes?

Speaking of bacon, last night Shawn was telling me about a sex dream he had about one of our good friends (stick with me peeps, I've been in bed all week and have literally nothing to write about unless you're interested in hearing about daytime tv.) He thinks it's weird that he's had multiple (by multiple I don't mean nightly dreams, I mean he's had about 4 dreams in the 6 years he's known her) sex dreams about this woman even though he's not attracted to her. My argument is that if he's had multiple sex dreams about her, he must be attracted to her on some level.

Let me clarify something. When I say "my argument" I don't mean that we were arguing about the sex dream. The lady who starred in Shawn's dream is lovely and a good friend to me and gives me no reason to be insecure about her friendship with Shawn (and - despite the multiple sex dreams - Shawn gives me no reason to be insecure about his friendship with her.)

So I'm making my case about how his subconscious mind is obviously attracted to her and Shawn cuts me off with this gem:

"Hillary. You're bacon. I like bacon with other things, yes, but I also like bacon all by itself. Our friend is a tomato. I don't want just a tomato but put it with bacon and you've got a tasty sandwich."

I freaking love this guy.