Monday 14 September 2009

I Think You're Stubborn 'Cept You're Always Softening

I am obstinate and pertinacious and every other synonym for stubborn that you can think of. When I am trying to fool myself, I say that I am fortitudinous, but that is a lie. My tenacity does not stem from courage or determination. It comes from feeling like I constantly need to prove myself. I need to be just as good as you, if not better.

I have been taking karate for six weeks. When I joined, I was told that other women would also be joining. I have yet to see another woman at karate. Which is fine when all we're doing is drills and stretches and learning technique. It's not fine when we're doing punches and kicks. I morph into Super! Hillary! who can fight with the boys and walk away unscathed. Except that I can't walk away unscathed. One cracked rib later, I am very hurty.

I wish that I could just relax and enjoy karate for what it is: a brutal workout that leaves me sweaty and breathless and grinning after an hour and a half. I wish that I didn't turn it into a competition of me against the boys.

11 comments:

  1. I can't believe you cracked a rib. That's rough! But at least you are keeping up with the boys! Hope you heal fast.

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  2. A cracked rib? You ARE badass.

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  3. I need a little more of your obstinance. I find myself in boy-situations kind of a lot (see: frisbee) and I SO WANT to be that girl who is just as good as the boys. unfortunately my body has some very set limits that I can't aeem to push past.

    cracked rib?? BADASS. hope it heals soon though :-)

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  4. I got to orange belt in Tae Kwan Do (orange being the first belt after white which is, you know, the one they give you for signing up and paying the fee) before quitting because my instructor was a teenaged boy who could beat me at the splits. What a jerk.

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  5. Oh, and try not to cough. It will hurt.

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  6. Hardcore much?
    But I know what you mean. I don't even like playing casual basketball or volleyball games with friends because I can't STAND to loose.

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  7. You kick ass in thesaurus usage, that's for sure!

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  8. A cracked rib?!! Lady you are so hardcore, and OW! Take care of yourself <3

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  9. If I was in a room full of boys kicking each other, I'd do the same - become very competitive.

    But lady, please take care of that cracked rib of yours!

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  10. Hi Hillary

    Did any of the boys at Karate say anything about your new hair style

    I bet you could kick my ass, glad im 1000's of miles away when I write my comments, hehehehe

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  11. Cracked rib? Yikes! That's why I think I'll stick to the no-touch yoga. Stick it in a hot room and you sweat just as much without that kind of pain.

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