Big Black Boots Long Brown Hair

Friday Faff: Actually on Friday This Week! Edition

First things first, I managed to wear my dress today!


In other news, my kitchen is very messy. And my mirror needs a good wipe.


Kate asked if my outfit includes boots but sadly, it does not. My large calf muscles prevent me from wearing boots with dresses. I cannot find boots that zip all the way to the top so I only wear them under pants. Which kind of defeats the purpose of having nice boots. It is sad.

Thanks for the puppies' paws suggestions. I sincerely doubt that Stella will wear booties but she might let me put wax on her paws. She'll probably try to eat it off but it's worth a shot.

I think I might be breaking up with the PediPaws. I don't think I have the patience for Stella's Evade the PediPaws shenanigans. I'll give it another shot this weekend after tiring her out at the dog park but I'm not hopeful. She's too strong-willed. And by that I mean I'm too lazy to fight her.

Happy Friday, everyone!

Not A Letter From An Occupant

Dear Boy I Had A Major Crush On In Highschool Who I Literally Ran Into On The Street Outside My Building This Morning:

I haven't seen you in, oh, eight years or so but you are still looking good. Your dimples are as cute as ever. I just wanted to let you know that usually I brush my hair before I leave the house in the morning but this morning I was a bit rushed. I wear makeup now too! (but not until I get to work because, you know, there's no point in wasting valuable sleeping time putting on mascara because really, who sees me before I get to work? Oh that's right, today you saw me.) Also, I don't normally wear wrinkled trousers to work - I do know how to work an iron, I just didn't have time this morning. Actually, I was planning on wearing my cute little wool dress today with adorable dark red tights, but then it was raining and it looked cold and I didn't have time to check the weather network so I just threw on the first thing I found in my closet. In the dark (because Shawn's not working this morning.) So Boy I Had A Major Crush On In Highschool, if you could maybe try to picture me wearing the cute wool dress with the adorable red tights, with brushed hair and makeup on, instead of all wrinkled and disheveled like I actually was, I'd much appreciate it.

Love,
The Wrinkly One

PS: I did not appreciate your tone when you asked "So are you living around here?" Yes, there is a lot of crack in my neighbourhood but there is no crack in my house and that is an important distinction to make. Besides, you're the one going to school there. What are you learning to be? A crack dealer? Oh snap!

PPS: It would have been nice if you could have worked your schedule into our conversation somehow so that I could, you know, take the other route to the train station on those days. Just sayin'.



Dear Lady On The Train Who Sat In The Middle Of The Floor And Read A Newspaper:

Was it necessary to sit on the floor? If you really couldn't stand for the thirty minutes it takes to get downtown, you could have asked for a courtesy seat. People are jerks but I've been riding the train for over a year now and I've never seen anyone outright refuse to give up a courtesy seat when asked. By sitting on the floor, you were taking up about the same amount of floor space of four standing passengers. Could you feel the rage of the 60 other train passengers directed toward you? Maybe you shouldn't take the train during rush hour. Just a suggestion.

From,
A Disgruntled Passenger



Dear Shawn,

Hypothetically speaking, if your wife devotes a large portion of her evening (every evening, for a week!) painting the condo, acceptable comments for you to make would include:

"Wow! You are such a good painter!"
"Your painting talent amazes me!"
"This is the best paint job I have ever seen!"

Unacceptable comments include (but are not limited to):

"You didn't use painter's tape to make a crease?"
and "I'm not criticizing your work, I'm just saying that if you used painter's tape, it would look better!"

Your wife knows how painter's tape works, in theory. You wife also knows (FROM EXPERIENCE) that it doesn't really work that well and it's easier to just touch up the uneven crease later.

Love,
The One Who Makes Your Dinner And Will Spit In Said Dinner If You Make Any More Snotty Comments About The Quality Of The Paint Job



Dearest Wolfgang,

I know that my arrival home from work is the highlight of your day. I realize that it is a Very! Exciting! Thing! and sometimes you can't contain yourself. Was it really necessary to headbutt me in the mouth, though? My tooth is still throbbing. I don't have dental insurance and if I need to go to the dentist because of this, it's coming directly out of your college fund.

Love,
The One Who Can't Put Any Pressure On Her Front Tooth Without Pain



Dear Vancouver Canucks:

You had a 3-1 lead. How could you lose 5-3? To Nashville, the lowest scoring team in the Western Conference. Smarten up!

Sincerely,
A Former Fan

Cause Andy You're A Star In Nobody's Eyes But Mine

I stayed up late to watch the tennis last night (damn you Andy Roddick and your adorable tennis player's bum) so my brain is fried today. Instead of a coherent post, I've got Tuesday Randomness. Enjoy!

It's snowing again in Vancouver and it is making me stabby. Wolfgang refuses to go outside when the temperature dips below zero and Stella is having a nasty foot issue because of the salt on the sidewalks. After each walk, I put her in an inch of warm water in the bathtub and try to soak the salt out from between her pads but she still licks and licks and licks until her feet are red and raw. The puppies and I would appreciate the arrival of Spring soon, mmmkay?

Speaking of puppies and foot issues, I recently bought a PediPaws nail trimmer. Stella loses her shit whenever I try to clip her nails and I am really anxious about clipping them too short and hurting her. So I've got the PediPaws and I've read the instruction booklet about how to introduce it to your puppy, and I've watched the online video demonstration, but Stella is having none of it. She will sniff the PediPaws and let me hold it near her while it's on (but only if I've got a treat I'm bribing her with) but as soon as I try to get near her paw, she's off and running. Does anyone have a PediPaws and/or expert advice on how to use it on a non-cooperative dog?

I won Angella's itunes contest a few weeks ago and just spent my itunes dollars. I bought David Usher's new EP Live From Montreal, Fleet Foxes' self-titled album, and Hideaway by The Weepies. If I was spending real money instead of free money, I probably wouldn't buy Live From Montreal. It's a bit of a luxury item because I already own all of David Usher's albums so I've already got the songs featured on the live EP. I'm glad I got it though because it is fabulous. He plays around with his songs when he plays them live, so although I've already got the songs, I now have different versions of them. The Weepies album is great, though there really isn't a stand out song for me yet. Fleet Foxes ... well ... I think I am just not cool enough to get Fleet Foxes. I had read a lot about the band and I think I may have hyped them up too much in my mind. I've only listened to the entire album once though, so maybe I just need a few more listen-throughs before I like it. Maybe Fleet Foxes are an acquired taste? What are you listening to and loving right now? I could also use some book recommendations too, if anyone's got any.

But I Woke Up To Real Life

Rachel at I'm a Mom in Real Life is hosting a giveaway and all you have to do is vote for her comic. So do it. Then blog about it to get extra entries because you're easy (like me!)

It's Never Too Late We've Still Got Time

I realize that having another Friday Faff: Monday Edition in the space of one month is a little lame but I can't help it. Work made me brain dead on Friday and whenever I went to pick up my laptop on the weekend I was distracted by either A: blue skies or B: the Australian Open. The weather has been bizarrely foggy lately so there was no end to the excitement over Blue! Skies! and sunshine. We spent hours outside with the pups, introducing Wolfgang to Stella's favourite dog park (and a feisty year-old Weimaraner, which he was none too pleased about) and trying to wear out Stella's puppy fervour. Obviously I had to balance all the fresh air and exercise out with a hefty dose of television watching, which was achieved by watching approximately 87 hours of the Australian Open. It's not my fault though - tennis is strangely hypnotic. I'd try to turn it off but I couldn't resist the urge to watch one more game, just one more I promise. And then it would be three hours later and Roger Federer would have just fought back to tie Tomas Berdych at two sets apiece, and how could I turn it off without knowing who would end up winning the match? (Federer)

Right, so, Friday Faff.

Your painting suggestions were all really helpful. I'd like to be able to say that I spent all weekend painting and have photographic proof of it, but that would be a giant lie. I did, however, decide what the colour scheme will be (but I can't tell you until I actually finish paining because if it looks like crap I'm totally redoing it.)

I tried to videotape the pups doing cute things this weekend but they were having none of it. As soon as I'd point the camera at them they'd sit and stare back at me. Meanwhile I'm shouting "Dance, monkey! Dance!" to no avail.

Vanessa, the pups do not stay in Time Out. There is no trick. When Stel is being completely horrible to Wolfgang, we put her on a chair and stand in front of it so she can't jump off. As soon as we move, she leaves. She does not acknowledge Time Out.

I didn't realize the ear chewing thing was a sign of affection or dominance, I just thought Stella was being an asshole. I do worry about infection because Wolfgang's ear does end up completely wet, inside and out. I've actually stuck a tissue in his ear and it's come out quite damp, like there was a pool of Stella drool in there. Wolfgang has actually started chewing Stella's ear now, so I'm hoping that it will break Stella of her habit (Wolfgang actually breaks the skin of Stel's ear with his pointy little puppy teeth.) Wolfgang gets his rabies vaccination in three weeks so I think I'll just ask the vet if he has any suggestions on how to get them to stop. Until then I'll just fret.

Oh! Oh! My bank has decided that I'm not a fraudster and I got my money back! Happy days.

There, that's it. I'm all faffed out.

Why Don't You Scratch My Back And Chew The Tongue I Chew

Since we brought home Wolfgang, Stella has pretty much stopped chewing socks, shoes and towels. I would be really happy about this if it wasn't for the fact that she has stopped chewing household items because she has found a better chewing item - namely, Wolfgang's ears.


She pins him to the floor and goes to town on his poor ears. She's not trying to eat his ears - she has never broken the skin - she just likes to gnaw on them. Wolfgang is very zen about it; he lets her chew, only letting out a little yelp if she accidentally chews too hard.

I have no idea how to get her to stop. We've got a nasty-smelling spray that we use to keep Stella from chewing the furniture but I can't really coat Wolfgang in it, can I?

The reason I want her to stop is that it can't be good for Wolfgang to always be walking around with wet ears. Stella drools all over him when she chews and he ends up with sopping wet ears (inside and out.) I don't want him to end up with an ear infection.

this is my favourite picture of the pups because it looks like they're hugging

Nom nom nom ... that was a tasty ear

If you've got two dogs, have you ever had this problem? If so, how did you fix it?

Hello Hello I've Got What You're Searching For

Hello to my new reader / commenter LAB who is now one of my favourites due to the following:
1 - In her first comment, she told me she loves pictures of Stella and Wolfgang, and 2 - When I clicked over to her blog, her most recent post is about food. Puppies and food! What's not to love?

It's been ages since I last posted about the pups (and by ages I mean oohhh ... a week?) so here are some recent photos:

Anyone who has a puppy will recognize that my pups are not staring at me with intense love, they are willing me to drop the treat I'm holding. I tried to flip Stella's ear over properly to take another photo but the spell was broken.

Wolfgang acting like a tough guy. All five pounds of him.

A very frowny Stella having a Time Out.

That bone is the only reason Wolfgang still has a face. When he gets extra annoying, Stella will grab her bone and start gnawing away at it while staring intently at Wolfie. It's a little scary. And a lot funny.