Grady wakes up at 1am for a snack pretty consistently. Sometimes it's a little bit earlier, sometimes it's a little bit later, but the nights with no wakeup are few and far between.
Shawn has conditioned himself to sleep through this nightly occurrence. It didn't take him long to train his body to tune out Grady's hungry whine. I don't begrudge him this ability. It is what it is. He needs to get up early to go to work. He lacks the necessary equipment to satisfy Grady's need for milk. It's fine. It's logical.
I have a wonky thyroid. Every so often I have an ultrasound so my doctor can monitor what's happening. My last ultrasound was a few weeks ago. We've now moved from the monitor stage to the biopsy stage. I knew it was a possibility. It's not a surprise. It's not even scary in the light of day - it's just a nuisance. A stupid procedure that will require scheduling and childcare and deep breathing.
But at 1am? When Grady wakes up because he's hungry and Shawn is snoring away? My mind starts to wander and I worry about what would happen if my stupid wonky thyroid turns out to be more than just a nuisance. Will Grady scream for his 1am snack? Will he stop waking up because his cries go unanswered? I mean, probably Shawn would become more attuned to Grady's needs because he wouldn't have the luxury of tuning Grady out, but there would be an adjustment period and I worry that Grady would feel abandoned.
I know this is ridiculous. I know that my wonky thyroid is still just a wonky thyroid and there's no need for panic. But I can't help but go there at 1am when my sweet boy is looking for a little comfort.