Tuesday 31 January 2012

Try To Freeze Frame The Day Then The Light Starts To Fade

Grady is six months old. Today was Shawn's last day of work. Tomorrow I am officially back to work and Shawn becomes a stay at home dad.

I'm lucky. For the next three months I will be working three days from home and only two in the office.

We're lucky. We live in Canada. We're entitled to a year of parental leave benefits.

I know that we have it pretty good. I'm not complaining. I'm just ... hyperventilating a little bit.

I'm not ready to go back to work. I don't talk about my job here because I know it's bad form. It's an unusual office. An unusual, high-stress workplace. I did a lot of crying in the bathroom is what I'm saying. I'm worried that my lack of sleep and my rollercoaster emotions are going to result in me going down in a blaze of glory. I'm not sure that I'm strong enough to be the primary earner. I know I can do my job. I'm looking foward to using my brain. I'm just not sure that I possess the power to bite my tongue. My tolerance for bullshit has decreased significantly since going batshit crazy.


Wish us luck? Shawn and I are both apprehensive as we move into this adjustment period. Lucky for us we have the perfect little distraction to keep us smiling.

17 comments:

  1. Oh man, that picture is adorable. Good luck! At least you get to transition gradually and aren't straight back in the office five days a week. x

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  2. Oh my, what an adorable chubby munchkin! He does look like he is totally prepared to keep you smiling.

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  3. I agree with Jen's comment - at least it's a slow transition, and you still get plenty of time at home. You're strong - stronger than you give yourself credit for - and you can conquer this. :) (And, yeah, that lil' guy is a fantastic distraction!)

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  4. that picture KILLS ME every time i see it. heeeeee.

    also: YOU CAN DOO EEEEET!!!

    (imagine me jumping around behind you with pom poms yelling that every time things get stressy. :) )

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  5. You can do it! Plus, there's always alcohol (or chocolate for those work-time hours).

    I've said it 100 times but your kid is damn cute.

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  6. Good luck!!! I'm glad you get to transition back by working from home 3 days a week.

    And damn that's a cute picture!

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  7. GOODNESS - every time you post a picture of your little man, I literally gasp because he's darling.

    Best of luck!

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  8. Oh the BEST of luck to you!

    And what an adorable little guy you have there. Rock star material for sure.

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  9. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it.

    Just keep telling yourself that. And if you ever, EVER need to be reminded of that, don't hesitate to come find me, and I"LL tell you again.

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  10. Good luck! Hopefully working from home will be a little bit easier for you and a little less stressful then being in the office 5 days a week!

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  11. aw good luck! hope the new situation is an easyish transition or at least minimal stress.

    also, that picture. kills me. mini rock star right there. the ladies are already swooning over him.

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  12. Good luck! It's great that you have a slow transition back so you can get used to the new arrangement.

    Hopefully being at work a little will make your time at home sweeter, and when you're at work you'll have more resilience (and yes, maybe a no-nonsense attitude!) than you remember. I bet that cute little dude has made you super strong :)

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  13. Adorable. Adorable. Adorable. I can't say it enough. He is ADORABLE.

    I can only imagine it'll be difficult, but you CAN do this. Just take it one day at a time.

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  14. As a working mom, you know what I found when I went back to work? Those cute little distractions serve as a great litmus test to determine what's really important and what isn't. In other words, things that used to bother me are nothing now. If you can fight through the postpartum blues and land on your feet, I think you'll be surprised at how much you can actually handle. Go get 'em, rock star!

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  15. He looks so much like you. Such a cutie! Man, sometimes I really feel like I want to call in my Dad's Canadian citizenship and move there. A year!? But still, it's an adjustment, this new arrangement and I hope it ends up being good for all. A little bluntness and not putting up with crazy is good I think.

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  16. He looks so much like you. Such a cutie! Man, sometimes I really feel like I want to call in my Dad's Canadian citizenship and move there. A year!? But still, it's an adjustment, this new arrangement and I hope it ends up being good for all. A little bluntness and not putting up with crazy is good I think.

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  17. Forgive me. I kind of got stuck on YEAR of parental leave and the rest of the wordy words just kind of swam in my fantasizing vision. YEAR!

    Personally, I think losing the ability to deal with bullshit post-baby is a good thing. There's so much bullshit in the world that shouldn't be tolerated, and having a kid puts it all in perspective.

    Good luck with the new arrangement!

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