Wednesday, 4 May 2011

There Are Different Names For The Same Things

So. Baby names. Picking out names can be fun and exciting. It can also be frustrating. Like, dickpunch your husband frustrating.

My heart has been broken numerous times over the past few months by his flippant use of the veto. Milo, Felix, Declan, Leo, Finnian, and Arlo were all cruelly (and firmly, meaning I can share them here because there is no way he'll relent) rejected by my husband.

Then there are all the fabulous one-syllable names that are unusable because of a generations-old tradition on Shawn's side of the family where the first-born son is given his father's name as a middle name. Meaning Willie (oh, and Shawn preemptively vetoed Willie before I even suggested it) will be Willie Shawn 2-syllable last name that starts with the letter "m."

The whole thing is made even more frustrating by Shawn's inability to stick to a certain naming style. Ewan, Tiberius, Aidan, Liam, Gibson, and Maximus are his top picks (that have been vetoed by me - works both ways, sucker!)

Willie remains nameless is what I'm saying. Which isn't a huge deal, I know. We've got 11 weeks left until my due date and here in BC you have 30 days to register a baby's birth. There's still time to find the perfect name. I just want to know now. I want to know, with certainty, that we've found the one.

There's one name that we keep returning to. Shawn suggested it months ago and I don't hate it. I just don't luh-huv it. It's a very Irish name and Shawn's last name (which will be Willie's last name - we're not saddling him with a 5-syllable hyphenated last name) is also very Irish. Which is fine, I guess. We're just not very Irish people. Is it weird to give our kid a very Irish sounding name if we're not particularly Irish? I mean, we drink green beer on St. Patrick's Day but that is pretty much the extent of our Irishness.

Of course, if the Canucks continue to do well in the playoffs all of this angst could be all for naught. Shawn and his brother are still pushing for a little Stanley Shawn M if the Canucks bring home the cup. Which puts me in the bizarre position of kinda-sorta-hoping that my favourite hockey team doesn't win the Stanley Cup

(I kid! I kid! I still want them to win! 100%! I just don't want my baby to be named Stan.)


  1. I hold very firmly to the contention that whoever carries the baby around inside them for NINE LONG MONTHS, REALLY MORE LIKE TEN gets final say-so in naming. Sorry if it's a dickpunch, Shawn. Life isn't fair.

  2. I'm going to assume you've looked at the Baby Name Wizard site, right? And Nymbler? Nymbler might be especially helpful, since you put in some names you like and it spits out more names you might like. Maybe put a few of Shawn's picks and a few of yours in and see what Nymbler says? (Also, I'm still rooting for the Name that We Both Might Use That We Already Discussed.)

  3. I am in a similar naming situation with my husband(and it sounds like your choice baby names are also my choice baby names). I would strongly suggest the baby name wizard book. It has all these great lists based on category and also lists sibling names for names you like (maybe Shawn would like one of the sibling names of one of your favorite names).

  4. We have similar naming styles! We could agree on a dozen babies' names, I'm guessing. (I hadn't thought of Arlo, but I LOVE it, and I bet my husband will not. Pout face.)

    I wish you the best of luck! We're 99% settled on our baby boy's name, but I still have a lot of DOUBTS. (I'm due July 19th, which I think is the same week-ish as you?) This is likely our last one, so probably I'm not ready to give up on the hunt while I actually have a baby to name.

  5. I brought up Milo too, but Noah said that we're not having a 70-year-old janitor. Husbands have bad taste in names.

  6. Baby names are haaaaaard. And I had to do it three times. Nathan's name wasn't picked until the day before I was induced.

    Boy names that I liked but Matthew didn't, or were used by friends/family:

    Nathaniel (we went for the shorter version)
    Matthew (we didn't want a "Junior")

    Did you know that if Emily had been a boy, her name would have been David? True story.

  7. Ooh, baby names, so fun and probably frustrating. I think you can reserve the right to veto Stanley. I would. And then you can feel free to cheer for our beloved Canucks unfettered by fear of naming your child after the trophycup.

    I think you like some of the same style boys names as I do. I am slightly ashamed to admit that I have a running list of potential future baby names on my computer, despite being single. So, I will share with you:

    Desmond (OH EM GEE love this one)
    Nicholas/Nico for short

    Don't know if it helps but there you go! Feel free to use 'em! Oh and no I don't think it's weird for your baby to have an Irish-sounding name even if you're not particularly Irish.

  8. I have a running list of baby names that I add to as the mood strikes. Andrew is strongly against most of them. Including one of my personal faves "Macon." He said it sounds like a "hick" name. I don't agree. Good luck finding the perfect name. I know that you will. OX!

  9. I confess to being pleased that you will not be naming your son Declan, but yes, it does seem that you have better taste in names than the husband... I have friends who had a name all picked out &, like, SOLIDIFIED... until they had the baby & decided the name didn't fit & renamed him, right on the spot. So... maybe that'll work for you?

  10. I wish you could use my favorite boy name that I can never use (Sam) but you have a similar problem in that it doesn't go well with the last name. Boo. Someone should name their kid Sam, because it's a kick-ass name.

  11. I like the name Sam, lol - i know 2 lovely people with that name, one's a baby, one adult. It's a fav of mine too - that and Rory, it's a great name, and though I know someone with it, it doesn't make me think of him. Just don't name him something that is :
    a)hard to pronounce
    b)hard to spell
    c)easily made fun of.

    As cute as some names are... there are a few that both you and your hubby picked that made me cringe...
    You'll find something that LOOKS like the bebe - cause when you see him, you'll know for sure :)

  12. Two thoughts. First, my husbanded LOVED Declan. Loved it. And was so mad I vetoed it. Not that I didn't like - I think it's a great name. But, we agreed no names of offspring of friends and we have a friend whose son has that name. Naming a child is frustrating.

    Second, when they come to ask for your son's name, make sure you have sent Shawn off for food or a necessity from home. That way, you have the final say. =)

  13. Holy crap, I love five of the six names he vetoed (two of the six were on our finalist list for Henry, and another one would have been on there too if we'd thought of it, and another one would have been on there too if it didn't conflict with another child's name), and the sixth is not one I dislike, just not on my Love List.

  14. First of all, I SOOO relate to your dilemma! We had our first baby in February, and as of the time that I went into the hospital with him, we were still in a dead lock(granted, he was 3 weeks early, so we thought we had more time!) I absolutely utilized Swistle's baby naming blog, and kept a detailed spreadsheet where my hubby and I could see each other's suggestions and then leave our own comments on the name (otherwise I'd keep suggesting the same name, forgetting the same comments that he'd made about it each time!) I wanted names like Andrew or Max, and he liked Ajax and Jaxon (something about that "x" I think . . . )

    Once the baby was born (and the darned people kept waking us up every morning to try to get us to submit the birth certificate information!) we were able to compromise on a name we both liked. I don't know that we'd have ever done it without that pressure though . . .

    I recommend having a list of a few that you both don't hate, so that just in case your little guy comes early, you have some options in your sleep-deprived brain ;)

  15. When we were naming babies it got to the point that I had to say, "Listen, just PAUSE before you veto because I feel like you're not taking the time to appreciate the awesomeness of this name."

    Then, when it felt like we had reached an impasse on our son's middle name, I just stopped talking about it. I stopped talking about it right up until that baby was born. No man will say no to the woman who has just birthed his baby.

    It's a strategy you might consider, is what I'm saying.

  16. As someone obsessed with baby names, i gotta say, your vetoed suggestions are pretty good. Shawn is crazy. Also, my husband has the same generations-old tradition in his family, so our first son's middle name will be Michael. Which is kinda boring, but it goes with just about anything, so we're wide open.

    And the best thing? Mike has essentially given me full naming rights. He just doesn't care much, so I get to pick what I want. As long as he doesn't TOTALLY hate it, it's on. Love that.

    Good luck! Keep hunting...

  17. With my first son Aidan, we had a number of names and I was in labour befoer we finally had a full name chosen. With Quinlan, I was again in labour when we really figured out his name. We were pretty sure, but not 100%. At least it wasn't like friends of ours who it took almost a month to name their third.

  18. I love my younger brother's name-Tynan. I want to use it for my own child one day...but how do I justify it to my OTHER brother???? Ha. I also think there's nothing wrong with nicknames for people either!
    Knowing what Shawn's last name is (and how old-mannish it sounds) I really really REALLY hope you pull the veto card on Stan :P Stoked to hear what you do decide on though!

  19. Oh for shame, Arlo is so cute! Be-te-dubs, do you read I'm no where near ready to be with child, but it's enjoyable none the less.

  20. My mom got to name me and my dad named my sister. Good thing they had 2 kids, right?

    Mr. Darcy says he really does like Agemmemnon as a name. I can't even spell it! I have agreed we can name a DOG that.

    It's hard to come to an agreement on a name but I bet you're going to pick the perfect one. And it isn't Stanley. ;-)

  21. This must be so hard!! I know you guys will find the perfect name and it will just snap into place :)

    Our problem? When we become parents we've used two of our favourite names on our dogs lol Maybe we could just re-train the dogs...

  22. I vote for having a narrowed down list of what you can agree on, but you will know what name fits him as soon as you look in his eyes.

    But seriously Shawn? Maximus? Also, is he just picking names from the actors off of the DVD's you own? :P

    Because Shawn's name is a one syllable name, is there an option for Willie to have two middle names? (if the other name is also one syllable?)

    Keep in mind the kid's initials too. For example don't name him Ike, cause his initials will be ISM. That (unfortunately) just screams 'bully me'.

  23. Personally I love Irish names. I have a teensy tiny bit of Irish in me, but nothing huge, but I think Irish names are lovely and if it works with the last name and you both like it, that's great! I'm really curious as to what it is...

    I remember my parents telling me how they named me. They wrote out a list of about 25 names and only considered ones that were on both. Thank heavens, because my mum was set on Anastasia (!) and my dad was set on Charlotte, both of which make me wanna chuck!!

  24. Kyla,
    I have a friend (female) who got a dog (male) and named it her favourite boy name. Then, my friend switched genders, and changed his name to his favourite boy name - so he now has the SAME name as his dog. What I'm saying, is if he can do that, you can TOTALLY name your kid the same name as your dog! It's confusing, but it could be worse...

  25. I found your blog today after Jennie from She Likes Purple linked to you. I started reading a few posts and thought I'd comment on this one.

    I don't think it's weird to have an Irish name if you're not Irish. I may be biased however. I'm Norwegian/Dutch and my husband is Norwegian/English and our son's name is Kieran. The other name we were considering was Brennan.

    I would have vetoed Tiberius as well. I'd constantly be thinking of Captain Kirk and we can't have that.