Tuesday 24 May 2011

If You're Low Just Hold On 'Cause I Will Be Your Safety Oh Don't Leave Home

When Shawn and I first moved in together, we lived in a cramped 1-bedroom apartment in downtown Vancouver. There were a lot of things wrong with that apartment. The building was old and smelly, the elevators were constantly breaking down, the parkade was not secure (one time someone actually cut through Shawn's door to try (unsuccessfully) to steal his car) and we had to go down ten floors to get to the laundry room (and then it cost $4 per load.) The closets smelled disgusting, which meant that anything we stored in them (like, uhh, our clothes) smelled a bit off. One time we were watching tv in the living room when we heard a shower of water hitting the bathroom floor - it turns out our upstairs neighbour had left the tub running and it overflowed. Our landlord cut an opening in our ceiling (roughly 12 inches by 12 inches) and for the next six months we had a gaping hole above our shower, through which we could see the blanket of black mould we were living under (which explained the daily nosebleeds I had for two years that mysteriously cleared up within a week of moving out.)

It was not an ideal living situation is what I'm saying.

But when we bought our condo and had to leave our smelly, mouldy apartment, I was really blue. Yes, the apartment was gross and small and probably hazardous to our health. But it was also the first home that we shared. We moved in together four months after I moved back to Canada. We were still getting to know each other again and re-learn how to be a couple when we moved in together and had to learn how to live with each other as well (which was difficult. We're both extremely stubborn people and are set in our ways and can be difficult to live with.) (Though he's more difficult to live with than I am.) (Obviously.) We learned how to make it work in that apartment. And one August night, while eating cheesecake and watching the fireworks over English Bay from our bedroom window, he asked me to be his wife. To which I said "I guess so" (because saying awkward, inappropriate things is what I do when I'm caught off guard.)

I find myself in the same position now, four days before we move. There are a lot of things wrong with our current condo but I'm getting sadder and sadder the closer we get to moving day. When we bought the condo, we were engaged, puppy-less, childless people. Three and a half years later, we're married, with two monsterpups, and a surprise baby on the way (8 weeks, people. Deep breaths.) We've lived a lot in our current condo. I'm not ready to let it go. Neither are these guys:

9 comments:

  1. Good-byes are hard, especially when there are such happy memories tied to a person or place. I don't like change. I'm excited for you - a new place and you'll be new parents! I hope the move goes smoothly.

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  2. I think change like this is always hard. Despite going on and on about how much I hated our cramped basement suite I was so sad to leave it because it was where Eric proposed. I absolutely ADORE our townhouse now and can't imagine moving out of it one day - that will definitely be sad.

    BUT your new home is going to be where you bring your wonderful new bundle of joy home too. And that's going to create some entirely new memories :)

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  3. Aww, poor sad monsterpups.

    I always kind of liked moving. Not the moving itself because living out of boxes sucks, but the new starts, I like that. I like blank canvases.

    Just think of all the new memories you get to create in the new home! :)

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  4. Change sucks but I really think you are ready. I mean, you didn't think you were ready for a baby but look, you're about to have one. And that kid is going to need some space ... and so is everyone else. :-)

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  5. Change is HARD. (Understatement of the year.)

    You can (and will) do this and will be happy in your new place. I know it. :)

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  6. I feel your sadness with you. Even though I was stoked to sell my condo and move somewhere with more space ... even though I was happy as a clam when I handed over keys to the unit ... even though I love where Sweets and I now live ... I do still have VERY fond memories of my condo and sometimes wish I could smoosh together some of my life there with some of my life here. Hang in there, good things await you.

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  7. Aw, I can imagine what you're feeling- when we thought about selling last year I was really surprised by the emotions I went through and days before it must be hard!

    You're going to have an amazing time in the new condo and will adore it- just remember the feature wall and all the memories you're going to have there as a new family :)

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  8. Yah, even though somewhere might not be ideal, you do a lot of living there and then you get all nostalgic when it's time to go. I certainly understand that. Plus you've got all those mind-fuck pregnancy hormones on top of the normal goodbye blues. Very excited for your new place! It's going to be great!

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  9. This post is so sweet. I have felt that way before, and it always takes me completely off guard.

    Goodbyes are almost always difficult, even if you're about to say hello to something better.

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