Gastown has never been a place we considered moving to. It's too far from my friends in the West End and Shawn's friends in Yaletown. It's right on the edge of where downtown becomes very seedy and not particularly safe.
Shawn spent the weekend in a studio in Gastown and came home raving about the heritage buildings and cobblestone streets. His enthusiasm is infectious and my dreams of gardens and space for the puppies have turned to dreams of brick walls and converted lofts and exposed beams. Yes, in two days my dreams have changed.
Lisa commented on Monday's post, calling my volte-face "caprice." I like that. It sounds so much better than "fickle" or "flighty" or "fucking impossible to please, Hillary, make up your damn mind already."
Ahem.
There is a quote by Horace that resonates with me. "Romae rus optas, absentem rusticus urbem tollis ad astra levis" loosely translated as: In Rome you long for the country, in the country you laud the distant city to the stars.
I grew up in the suburbs and couldn't wait to move to the city. I lived in the city and craved the countryside. I lived in England and ached for Vancouver. I live in BC and I long for England. It's frustrating for those who have to put up with me, yes, but it is even more frustrating to be the one who feels this way. It's not about wanting more or never being satisfied. It's about wanting to feel settled. Wanting to feel like I am home.
Which is a bit silly, right? I know that a perfect location does not equal a perfect home or a settled home or settled mind. But there is still a small part of me that hopes it does.
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I firmly believe the perfect location (and you'll know it when you find it) enhances your happiness more than you'd expect. At least it did for me. When you love where you live, it enables you to start each day in a place that makes you really, truly happy, which is awesome. Until you leave the house and some asshole cuts you off in traffic and you nearly burst a vein in your forehead.
ReplyDeleteOh! How I relate to this, my friend. The thing is, at our age, we've made decisions in our lives that don't equate to the final resting place, if you will. I love the condo and neighborhood where I live, but I want a house. Eventually. I know it's not possible at this time in my life. And I know I may need to make additional sacrifices / compromises when I do. But, to feel settled? Yeah, I really do want me some of that!
ReplyDeleteFor a long time my home was defined as my parents because we moved around a lot.
ReplyDeleteNow it's become more Matt is my home. I've always had a hard time making a physical place feel like home, but rather it's the people who are around me that make it so.
Gastown? Really? That is the only place you sent us that I truly felt unsafe.
ReplyDeleteLocation is a big debate with us too. More in the suburbs gets us a bigger house for less money, but it's further from the fun stuff in the city.
I'm in the city where I want to live... that's the first part. But as far as feeling settled? As long as we're bouncing from apt to apt every year, that ain't happening. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI love our house and our yard but I HATE not being able to cab without guilt when we both want to go have drinks. If we lived downtown though, I'd hate the massive costs and living on top of each other. You kind of just have to make a choice and put the rest out of your head.
ReplyDeletei love my apartment.. i love my city... now i just to find a partner to love, and then i can start thinking about how i no longer love my apt and want to buy ;-)
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing that you think Gastown is too far from the West End and Yaletown. Isn't where you live now a whole lot further?
ReplyDelete;)
I love living in Squamish, since it's actually closer to downtown Vancouver than our friends who are living in, say, Surrey, or Pitt Meadows (which are actually in the GVRD!).
ReplyDeleteI'm totally a smaller-city/town kinda girl though.
As someone who's living in her 3rd state in the past year (though not for the same reasons,) I definitely sympathize with your longing for to be somewhere else. I mean, I'm in friggin Wichita, for crying out loud!
ReplyDeleteAt least no one can accuse us of complacency...
I agree with your friend Ben, I love me house & my huge yard but going "out" is a pain! We live in a suburb of Phoenix & even though it's more spread out than Vancouver it's a good 30 min away from the bars. Then again we can afford where we're at & are able to travel some so I feel we get the best of both worlds. My vote is for the suburbs! Give those puppies a yard to run & wear themselves out in! :)
ReplyDeleteSweet jebus, you need to make NO EXCUSES for dreaming of gastown- how much fun would that be?? I can hardly think about it without feeling my pulse pick up!
ReplyDeleteI'm really happy that Winnipeg has both- I'm in the middle of the city, in walking distance of all the trendy bits AND in a house. At the same time, I live in Winnipeg lol
I think there are trade offs in all situations, but you guys are already living the suburban life style complete with commute and everything- I can totally see how this is appealing.
i don't think it's silly at all, no one always knows what they want and you're totally allowed to change your mind.
ReplyDeleteI also don't think you're silly...my dreams change every week. One week is living in a small town by the sea...the next in a trendy city that never goes to sleep. :)
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