When a new cashier opens, it's not a sign for you to jump ahead to be first in her line. That's called budging. The next person in the original line gets to go first. That's just the rule. You may not agree with it but you still have to obey it.
We were lined up for coffee.
On a Monday morning.
That's a good way to get stabbed, in my opinion.
Love,
The Lady Who May Be a Little Too Dependent on Her Caffeine
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Dear Stella,
Last night when you came out of the bedroom with a sock in your mouth, I told you very sternly to drop it. Thanks for not listening. It meant that Shawn had to get up from his dinner to make you drop it (it was his sock. I have no sympathy for the guy who leaves his damn socks on the floor every freaking day.) This gave you the opportunity to jump up on his chair and start eating his salad while he dug the sock out from where you left it under the bed. You looked adorable with a bunch of baby spinach hanging out of your mouth.
Love,
The One Who Reprimanded You Harshly but Was Laughing Hysterically on the Inside
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Dear Wes,
Stop singing your song. No really, stop it. Maybe if I had the opportunity to hear the song in its entirety instead of only hearing the first line over and over and over, I wouldn't want to punch myself in the ear every time you opened your mouth.
Love,
The One Who is Not Ashamed to Admit She Watches the Bachelorette
* * * * *
Dear Self,
If your bare legs touch the train seat, your dress is too short. It is especially too short for work.
Love Hillary
PS: Wash your legs.
* * * * *
! I love this post! Thanks for making me laugh today!
ReplyDeletehaaaa. i have definitely reprimanded myself with the same Leg v. Skirt rule.
ReplyDeletealso, i would have given extremely violent Stares Of Death to the line cutter, because ARE YOU SERIOUS.
I might just love Stella more than Diesel. Shhhh.
ReplyDeleteUm, how do you stop yourself from punching and/or kicking a person who cuts in line right before you're about to get your Monday morning coffee?
ReplyDeleteYou are a better person than me.
LOL "PS - Wash your legs" I totally agree, this is the worst feeling. I hate getting too personal with the bus seat *shudder*
ReplyDeleteyou are hilarious. you should've been at the post office with me yesterday for some AMAZING line shenanigans. yelling was involved (not by me)... and some swearing and screaming (also not by me.. i was too busy giggling).
ReplyDeleteOMG SERIOUSLY WES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePeople do that at the grocery store all the time. I live in a very tourist-y area and in the summer it is insane!
ReplyDeleteMy dog has a thing for socks too.
Wes is driving me CRAZY. That boy needs to go home. You know he's not trying to serenade Jillian, he's getting musical air time!
Your dog is obsessed with socks too eh? What is up with that?
ReplyDeleteLOL@ mental image of her eating salad though.
Budging? I have never heard it called that, but that word is now part of my vocabulary. Because I HATE people who do that. Hate them with intense passion. Effing budgers.
ReplyDeleteI think my message to myself would be to shave my legs. Well, at least I finally did today. But, it sure took long enough. Ha!
ReplyDeleteLove the one to Stella and can't even begin to tell you how many times that scene has played out in my house.
ReplyDeleteEw Ew EWWWW. I know that "bare legs/upper tighs on unclean public transportation" feeling all too well. For the record I only own one such dress. And I feel like a trollop when I wear it. Even if it was purchased at Ann Taylor Loft... one of the most un-trollopish places around.
ReplyDelete