I need help.
Most days I just pull it up into a ponytail. I can't be arsed to do anything to it because a: I would rather spend my precious toddler-free minutes making coffee and b: I don't go out a lot. I mean, I go out. Grady and I go for a walk every day. I go to yoga. I grocery shop. But ... that's it.
Last night I went out with real adults. I took the time to do my hair. This is the result:
This is as good as my hair can possibly look. It does not get better than this. This needs to change.
I have always been pretty hopeless when it comes to hair. When I was mortgage and kid-free I used to spend hundreds of dollars every couple of months for a full head of foils and a style. Now I have neither the time nor budget for lengthy salon rituals (not judging those who do, I'm just trying to be clear. I know that my hair could be a lot better than it is now if I spent more time and more money on it.)
My last visit was a colour correction - I had been colouring my hair myself and I'd ended up way too dark. The stylist stripped the colour and added a few blonde highlights. I now have a year's worth of roots but they're not horrible. I mean, they're bad. Just not bad bad. I am kind of at a point in my life where I'm trying to be as chemical-free as possible so I'm trying to avoid colouring my hair (even though I totally have bastard grey hairs sprouting up all over the damn place.)
So I guess my question is this: should I continue to grow my roots out? Or should I get my stylist to colour my hair as close to my natural colour as possible? It feels like that could be a slippery slope - what if she can't match it and I end up with noticeable roots again in a few weeks? I will have undone a year of growing my colour out. I've been trying to pass my hair off as ombre (do people still do ombre hair? I am so old.)
Hello, awkward bathroom selfie
Adding to my anxiety is the fact that I don't actually have a stylist. I will be going to a new salon (excuse me while I panic.)
Look, I get it. It's hair. It's just hair. But it's also my hair. I want a new look. I want to like how I look. I want to be arsed to do something other than a ponytail every day.
When I look at myself, all I see is a giant forehead. I'm thinking bangs but I don't know ... are bangs a drastic step? I hate that I am spending so much time thinking about my stupid hair.
Tell me what to do! Please. Save me from thinking about this for one more second.
My hair is:
Fine (but I have a lot of it)
In between straight and wavy (with a few random curls thrown in to be maddening)
On the dry side of normal
Naturally dirty blonde / mousy light brown
Long (like, mid-back long)
Flat (because it's so long)
Fairly damaged on the ends (because nothing has been done to it in a year)
Please help me. I'm desperate. Like, so desperate I am considering just chopping it all off and starting fresh.
Ugh, I have not had a haircut in (almost) a year. I am in the same boat and I HATE IT.
ReplyDeleteBut! I was also in the same color boat a couple years ago and I just rocked that fake-ombre shit till it grew out. I was over coloring my hair (chemicals) (although I hadn't yet gone gray, thanks LG), but my hair stylist said people pay her good money to give them the hair color I had naturally ("naturally"), so, whatever. No color.
Then, by the time I got around to getting another haircut, most all of the color had grown out, so it wasn't a huge deal. I think as long as your lop off the dead ends and get a refresher cut/style, then the color won't bother you as much.
Also, I've been thinking about bangs myself, but I am scared to pull the trigger. Maybe if I had somewhere (an office job) to go everyday, where I would be forced to do my hair? But I fear they'd just wind up in a clip and all my baby hairs (again, thanks LG) would poke up and annoy me.
This was a long comment about hair.
Anyway, you're gorgeous, so whatever you do you'll pull off fabulously :-)
Honestly... I think it looks pretty the way it is. Maybe have a few layers put in to frame your face a little and give your hair a little more body. But it looks good. Better than my hair 99% of the time, and I don't have kids. I like the color.
ReplyDeleteI think we have similar hair types - mine is fine but a lot of it. Although I veer more in the direction of curly. My stylist is amazing and what's worked best is some layers, long side swept bangs (past my cheekbones) that blend in with the rest of my hair. And I'm on the wrong side of long right now, but my hair seems to look best when I'm at just past shoulder length. Last year, I discovered hot rollers, and while usually I'm a messy ponytail person, any time I need to look styled, they are like magic.
ReplyDeleteYou might be able to ask your stylist about single process dyes that just add color and fade a bit over time, so you aren't messing with the roots that have already grown out.
But I think your hair looks great.
Hello!
ReplyDeleteFirst off - I love your natural hair colour. Rock it for as long as you can! I actually had the same issue - my hair has not been coloured in almost 5 years now... I'm lucky not to have gray and as i've gotten older, it's gotten naturally darker which works with my eyebrows... anyways, I ended up going to a friend who suggested someone who I convinced to come to my home and cut my hair for 1/2 the cost of going to her salon (this is my first suggestion) - ask your close friends (who have awesome cuts) if they know of anyone who is willing to go to your home and do that. It's cheaper. I pay $40. The other option is one I'm hesitant to do... but curious none the less... Vancouver hairdressing academy - totally hit or miss, but cheap and usually more time is spent (i walked in the other day to the one on granville and will be trying it out next week I think... gah...) - www.vancouverhairacademy.com they had lots of info on the website and the salon (on south granville just over the bridge) was wicked.
I agree - the expense is hard. I had to cut back and once I did, I realized how nice my natural hair colour is (as is yours!!!!), but the cut is really what makes the difference.
Let me (us all here...) know what you find!
Just so you know, most salons have ammonia-free dyes. It works the same as regular dye and covers the grays (I use it all the time). Definitely use Yelp.com to find a new salon.
ReplyDeleteI think you need to be honest with yourself about what the next year is going to look like. If it's going to be a repeat of last year, then you need to keep things really simple with your hair. I wouldn't color it and I'd get a style that requires minimal upkeep (bangs will need to be trimmed and if you're not up for doing it on your own, they might be too much for a minimal style). But, if you're thinking "never again will I skip out on the salon for an entire year," then maybe you can be a little more complex with color and/or cut. Whatever you decide, you'll still be beautiful. =)
ReplyDeleteMy hair is the polar opposite of yours, so I have no advice. I just clicked through to tell you how pretty you are. :) xo
ReplyDeleteFirst off you are gorgeous lady! Please don't think otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI would say do something that requires the least amount of work/upkeep. I color my hair myself, but it's a dark brown so I can't go light without having to go to the hairstylist regularly and that costs money (something I can't afford). I really only color it because I have alotttta white hairs. Since I was in my late teens/early 20s. True story.
If you do want some sort of change, I say cut it! Make sure your hair stylist cuts it in such a way that it grows out nicely and you don't have to go back for another 6 months or so (that's what mine does).
I hope that helps a bit!
Maybe long layers to fluff it up a little? But it looks so pretty, especially in the second pic. I like the length and your waves! I have regretted bangs every time I've gotten them, but I have an oily forehead and that spelled bad news for the state of my bangs.
ReplyDeleteI think if you gave yourself more layers and a trim your hair would look really good. I have wavy(ish) hair myself and I find that that brings out more curl and lays better around my face. Although you could be completely different. So that wasn't helpful.
ReplyDeleteBut you look pretty!
I think Nilsa is right. Mind you, I am a man so my opinion on these things is probably flawed, but I would think you want something very simple to deal with on a day-to-day basis. I would also think you may want something shorter that you can grow out because you may not be going to a salon very much and you need to get rid of the damaged ends anyway. So, I would think you get something shorter (maybe shoulder length or just above the shoulders) with some layers and if the coloring needs to match, then *maybe* you try to get the dyed part to come closer to your natural color. Every girl I have know with long hair usually wears it up because doing something with it involves time and I imagine you don't have a lot of it. Just my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteimho - id chop a good 6 or 8 inches off (to just below your chin), some longish layers all over for some body and def go for the bangs! bangs are not drastic - theyre totally happenin 'and will always grow out if you hate them! i too fretted about my forehead (all i could see was the wrinkles!), i got bangs (which i wear quite shaggy and quite short) and love them!
ReplyDeletehave you tried a natural hair dye? like a henna? if youre not oppposed to that, id go DARK (like your profile pic) - would look tres bon with your eyes.
Like Angella, I have nothing to offer here because I think you look fabulous. You really, truly do look fantastic. Sometimes a very small change (cut off ~1-2 inches) will bring back bounce and life. The only thing I would say for sure is don't fall prey to the allure of bangs. TOO MUCH WORK. Not enough bobby-pins in the world for bangs, as far as I'm concerned. That said, though - I'll bet you'd look amazing with bangs. Boy, I'm a lot of help, aren't I? Don't do this! Do this! Wait, do THIS! Wait, don't do anything!!
ReplyDeleteHow about you just go have some cheese? That's always a wonderful idea.
Rather than coloring the roots, what about cutting a few inches and coloring the ends a lighter shade? Ombre hair is still quite fashionable!
ReplyDelete#1- You are beautiful :)
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't go with bangs because they are a HUGE pain to get used to. Plus being in a place with a lot of rain you will possibly always hate them (I had bangs for years, grew them out... moved to Amsterdam, got bangs again, got rained on, hated life... moved to Victoria, got bangs again, got rained on again, hated life AGAIN).
The last couple times I got my hair done my mom convinced me to get highlights and I told the stylist that I would NOT do any upkeep. She put them in kind of jaggedy away from the root so I don't get roots.
I hope that helps :)