Tuesday 7 August 2012

In This Silence We Design a Different Life

I quit my job again.

Twice in one month.

I did it properly the second time around. I gave my formal notice. I stayed for my two weeks and trained my replacement. My last day was July 31st.

I'm terrified.

Terrified with no regrets. I couldn't see (or wasn't willing to see?) how negatively my job was affecting me. I couldn't see how bizarre my situation was until I started sharing it with people. It got so overwhelming - the support and rage on my behalf - that I had to stop sharing it with people. It was too much. It made me realize that I had stayed for way too long. I felt (feel) stupid.

I'm on the other side now, though. I've agreed to contract myself out to my former company until the end of 2012. I will be working limited hours. Apart from one monthly meeting, I'll be working from home. I will walk away if things get rough or out of hand again. Part of me is sad that I don't have a clean break but the other (more responsible) part of me is happy to have some income while I figure out what I want to do next.

Grady and I escaped to the lake for a week. Shawn drove us up and stayed for the weekend but he had to go back home to his new job (the new job that made it possible for me to re-quit my job.) I'm surrounded by family, the sun is shining, my belly is full of yummy food and my heart is content. I am starting to feel like myself again.

14 comments:

  1. this seriously makes me so happy for you. so glad you quit and that you can figure out what you want to do and where you'll be happy.

    also, hurrah to a week at the lake, that is just lovely. xo

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  2. congratulations and all the best. in my experience, the silver lining is always so much better than the cloud you emerge from.

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  3. I'm so glad to hear you're feeling like yourself again. That's wonderful!

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  4. This post made me happy because you are starting to feeling like you again. And you are a pretty wonderful person. :)

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  5. SO happy for you! I hope the rest of your time away is fabulous - you deserve it!

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  6. Saweeeeeeeet!! Damn the crap jobs from hell that make you feel awful and start ripping through every other aspect of life. They are just not worth. Good riddance!

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  7. Good for you!! Once you get rid of something like that in your life you have made room for something new and better to come into your life.

    So inspiring. I spent the whole car ride over to my job this morning fantasizing about what life would be like if I was able to make money doing something I enjoyed in life. It gives me courage to see other people doing it!

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  8. I'm proud of you and happy for you. This sounds like exactly what you need to be doing. You needed to leave. And it's smart, if not quite as satisfying, to keep the limited ties and the income for a few more months.

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  9. YAY! Good for you! I hope this works out so famously that you can't even believe it! After your last post, I was hoping for one like this. Congrats on your new freedom!

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  10. Yay! Awesome. Funny how getting away has this great way of grounding you. At least it certainly does for me. I'm glad you got a chance to get away and just be with your boys now that you're done with the job.

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  11. SO happy for you. And SO happy that we get to see you and G tomorrow. :)

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  12. Oh my gosh, I am so happy for you. I just feel relieved myself reading this post. Deep breath.... Enjoy, lady! You deserve it. :)

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  13. Don't feel stupid for making your decision when you did. You stayed as long as you needed to, quitting at a time that wouldn't put undue stress and hardship on your family. I'm so glad you got to walk away on your terms and get to bring in some extra income while you figure out what's next.

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  14. I'm so glad that you are happy. Stupid awful jobs.

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