I didn't like Wolfgang very much when we first brought him home. I mean, yeah, there was the initial "puppppyyy! fluffy puppy!" excitement but once I got over that, I just wasn't really a fan. He was so tiny and fragile and I was constantly anxious that I'd step on him or Stella would be too rough with him or he'd end up broken somehow. He was so vocal. Stella would give him a little nip or he'd fall off the bed and he'd cry like someone was removing his toenails one by one. He hated being apart from me. He'd wake up multiple times every night to pee or for a drink of water or just to attempt to finagle a cuddle and a treat out of me. So I didn't like him much. He was just this tiny, noisy thing that demanded all of my attention.
Which brings me to my current worry: that I won't be a fan of Willie once s/he is here. I know that babies are not puppies and I shouldn't compare the two but I also know myself. I didn't dislike Wolfgang because he was an annoying puppy. I disliked Wolfgang because I hate change and Wolfgang brought a lot of change to our lives. And I'm thinking it's a pretty safe bet that Willie is going to bring a lot of change to our lives (understatement of the year!) So I worry.
I remember Shawn asking me if I loved Wolfgang when he noticed that I was less than enthused about our newest family member. And I remember that all I could come up with was that he was very fluffy. I liked him because he was nice and fluffy. I'm scared that I'll feel the same way about Willie. That I won't be able to feel anything for him or her, beyond liking that s/he's very soft, or very tiny, or very whatever.
In happier news, next Wednesday is the big ultrasound where we'll (hopefully) find out if Willie has an innie or an outtie. And then I can start worrying about sex-specific issues instead of just general issues like how big of an asshole I am for comparing my unborn child to my dog.