Thursday, 16 September 2010

You Got To Burn To Shine

I have a deep and abiding love for travel-sized beauty products. Tiny bottles of shampoo and wee tubes of toothpaste have a special place in my heart. My bathroom cabinet is a cornucopia of lotions and soaps all packaged up in teensy little containers. It is extremely pleasing (to me. To Shawn? Not so much.)

Shawn and I have both been busy (erm ... lazy) since returning from Vegas so we aren't fully unpacked. The suitcases are empty and the laundry is complete but the the bits and bobs, the carry on stuff, and the toiletries are spread throughout the condo. The bathroom is more "cluttered, impassable mountain of bottles and vials" than "pleasing haven of miniature cosmetic goods."

Last night I fell asleep while watching television so I was a bit groggy as I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I reached for what I thought was a mini bottle of aloe vera gel and started to spread it on my nose (side note: on the last day of our holiday I got the worst sunburn of my life on my nose. It started to peel and blister so I applied a soothing cream ... and had an allergic reaction. My nose is almost neon red. The skin is peeling and rashy and is blistered and raw. Shawn has started calling me his little leper. Pure aloe vera gel is my new best friend.) So last night I was tired and not really paying attention as I started gingerly dabbing the aloe vera gel on my poor nose. It stung like a motherfucker. But my nose has been quite stingy throughout this whole ordeal so I kept dabbing away until my eyes were watering and my nose was on fire and I look at the bottle and realize that I'm not applying pure aloe vera gel, I'm dousing my wound with hand sanitizer. You know, the stuff that's made from 2 parts alcohol and 1 part evil? Yeah. My nose is probably going to fall off my face.


  1. Oh bless your heart! I'm so sorry! (I have to admit - "2 parts alcohol and 1 part evil" made me giggle.)

    If we ever meet, I'll give you an aloe vera plant. Mine had about a hundred little baby plants, and I can't bring myself to just pull them off and throw them away. The plants are much harder to confuse with hand sanitizer.

  2. OMFG, of all things to douse on your nose. You poor thing. Hang in there Hillary ... and if your nose does fall off, please share pictures. =)

  3. Oh, DUDE.

    I'm sorry that I snickered when I read this, but it's only because it's totally something *I* would do. :)

  4. Oh good grief, you poor thing!! Aloe and lotion it up good tonight... hopefully it'll be feeling better ASAP!!

  5. Jane: I cannot keep aloe plants alive! I don't know why, they just keep dying on me.

    Nilsa: I will definitely share photos if I end up noseless.

    Angella: Oh dude, I've laughed every time I have had to explain what happened to my nose (which is often. It's kind of hard to miss.)

    Emily: Thanks, lady!

  6. OMG the pain you must have been in!! Poor girl!!

  7. oh NOOOOOO! oh dear oh dear... as a, um, frequent self-injurer, i feel your pain to some degree. oh you poor thing :)

  8. Owie owie owiepants ow! I'm pretty sure your nose will survive but holy crap, that sounds terrible.

    Also. Sunscreen?!?

    I too love those itty bitty containers of products. I don't know why, but I do.

  9. And let me guess -

    You didn't get any sympathy from your man.

    Am I right?

  10. OUCH! You poor thing, I'm wincing in sympathy. (And also, travel sized cosmetics are FABULOUS.)