Monday 31 May 2010

Next Time You Point A Finger I'll Point You To The Mirror

May has been an effing asshole of a month (sorry - I saw MacGruber on Friday and am now referring to everything as an effing asshole of something. This will never get old.)

It started with my mom's surgery, then we were all a little blindsided by my mom not doing so well after surgery (she's totally fine now), then I had my 2-night sleep study which was much more difficult than I anticipated (I get my results next week!), then it was Shawn's birthday (which doesn't count as a bad thing, it was just slightly stressful due to non-bloggable events), then Shawn went away for 4 days and left me alone with the monster puppies, then work kind of kicked my ass and left me reeling, and then I cut part of my fingertip off.

I'm ready for May to be over, is what I'm saying.

So. My finger. I didn't cut the fingertip off, it was more the meaty part - the fingerprint part - and I didn't slice the whole thing off, it was attached by a flap of skin, but it was disturbing and gruesome and I'm blaming in on Turtle because she is the one who taught me how to sharpen my knives.

Shawn was unreachable in the studio all day so I did what any mature, self-respecting 28-year old would do; I called my mom. I called my mom and I cried and I hyperventilated and I threw up a little and then I taped my finger back together, ate a popsicle, and went to bed.

So yes, I am ready for June.

19 comments:

  1. "Claaaassic MacGruber..."

    I laughed so hard I cried during that movie. Thank you, Will Forte.

    Here's to June kicking May's ass. And not in an "effing asshole" sort of way.

    (P.S. Glad your finger is still alive!)

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  2. Holy s**t! Hopefully you don't need stitches or anything? Eeeeek! That sounds awful :-(

    So glad your mom is doing fine now, and god bless MacGruber.

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  3. ...except that I'm actually 27, not 28. Sigh. It's Monday. Don't judge me.

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  4. Shit, woman, that very nearly made ME throw up just READING about your finger.

    *Hurls*

    Hope it gets better soon.

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  5. OMG. I am SO SORRY to hear about your craptastic month and your POOR FINGER!!! I hope it gets better soon!!

    The good thing in all of this? May will officially be done in less than 12 hours :) xxx

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  6. Did you draw that illo? Color me impressed. Happy you didn't cut it right off. *Shudder*

    June's almost here - hoping it's better for you!

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  7. Ohhh, Hillary. I'm sorry. That is very terrible. I agree that May sucks a lot of ass. Yay for June! Tomorrow!

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  8. Stitches??

    Sounds uber painful. Sorry May was so crappy for you. Bring on June!

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  9. Yeah reading that almost made me gag. Thanks! ;-)

    Seriously, though - I'm glad your finger is ok!

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  10. Thank goodness today marks the beginning of June and the beginning of a MUCH better month for you. I just know it!

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  11. Hope your finger heals soon! I'm wowed by your use of graphics for explaining ... I often call my mom when blood is involved... Last summer I cut my foot and somehow didn't notice (no idea how) and dripped blood all over the carpet, neccesitating a "Mom, my carpet looks like a crime scene" phone call wherein I was more upset about staining the rug than the fact that I cut myself and didn't feel it!

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  12. oh goodness i'm so sorry that does not sound fun at all. i so would have been on the phone crying and eating a popsicle too, there is no shame in that at all.

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  13. Ah! Lame! I hope that June heals you up and gives you lots of sunshine =)

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  14. Is your finger going to heal good as new or is there a little permanent damage? Bet that hurt like hell too.
    Anyway, hope you enjoyed your popsicle, what flavor was it?

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  15. Your poor finger - that's sounds awful! Hopefully it's healing well! Yay for June!

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  16. Awesomest graphics ever created.

    Hope your finger is ok!

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  17. Waitwaitwait...you cut part of your finger off?! That's hardcore.

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  18. If I had been there when you cut your finger, I would have had you go to the ER... you know... as I made Andrew do when he recently mangled his finger on the mandolin slicer. PUKE. Also, please no more graphic illustrations. It makes me squirmy.

    OX!

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