I have my twisty stuff and my wobbles, sure, but I really have no cause to grumble.
I feel like I need to train my brain to focus on the sparkles instead of the dust. I'm just not sure how to go about doing that.
I've tried meditation but I find forced relaxation extremely stressful. I keep a gratitude journal which I find massively helpful - while I'm writing or reading it. I need to figure out how to unconsciously steer my mind towards the happier side of things.
How do you stop yourself from reacting to challenging situations with immediate anxiety and stress?
Gratuitous Gus shot because damn, my child is adorable:
I'm having trouble with that too. In fact, I find that right now I use gratitude to kick myself when I'm down: "I'm miserable....AND I SHOULDN'T BE." Unhelpful.
ReplyDeleteYes! I do this too. So unhelpful. I berate myself because not being grateful seems indulgent somehow. It's so silly and a waste of time and energy.
DeleteI don't know how to stop myself from having my reactions; I've only gotten better at noticing I am having them and talking myself off a ledge. I don't think you should feel bad that you can't stop. We're programmed this way for a reason. These are your defenses and they are only doing their job. But! Noticing them, backing off bit by bit, that's where the unlearning comes in. You'll get there.
ReplyDeleteThose eyes!!!
ReplyDeleteI think when I am feeling ungrateful, or like the world has all its cards stacked up against me (which I'm kind of in the middle of right now with all this house BS we're going through), I just remind myself how lucky I am. My child was born healthy and beautiful, I have a loving family, and things could always be worse. We're lucky to have what we do.
All I need to do is look at a photo of my son to be grateful for my life. You should have Shawn send you daily photos of Grady when you're at work. It's bound to brighten your day!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I've consistently found that helps beyond carbs and booze is when I am feeling prickly or down, I go out of my way to give/say/do something kind to someone I care about. Kindness is infectious. When I nudge myself to be nice to someone else, I feel a little kinder toward myself.
ReplyDelete(That sounds so crazy cheesy but it DOES help.)
Sometimes life sucks even when it doesn't. Human nature. I embrace the grumpy. If I try to feel better when my brain doesn't want to, it just makes me SO much more miserable. Instead, when I get depressed or anxious or foul or down or just BLEH (which I do, often, because I suffer from depression and an anxiety disorder, so my brain likes to cycle in and out of both), I just let it ride.
ReplyDeleteI think the roller coaster of human emotion is one we can't necessarily control. We can only learn to cope. My coping equates time by myself, and a day or two where everyone knows not to mess with me.
I don't know. Maybe this is totally irrelevant. I'm rambling. My point is that I get it.
I think of a Tom Petty lyric-- "most things I worry about never happen anyway". Because they really don't. I give myself a reality check...exactly why am I freaking out again and self-sabotaging? Is this going to make my life better by reacting a certain way? Deep breath.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have changed my diet and it has really helped improve my mood overall. Mostly fruits and veggies very little bread, alcohol, or sugar. Diet can really effect your body and mind.
Big hugs, Hills. I don't deal with anxiety, so I have no advice, but hopefully one of these guys can shed some light. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd he IS the cutest thing. :)
Lexapro. It changed my world. I know taking medicine isn't for everyone, but seriously, sometimes it's worth it.
ReplyDeleteI CANNOT EVEN. THAT FACE.
ReplyDeletei hope things get better for you soon, chickadee. as swistle so famously said, it's perfectly acceptable to acknowledge your luckiness while also complaining about life's suckiness.
Oh he's so cute. I'm a negative and sarcastic person at the best of times. I'm not the one to ask about seeing things in a positive light, but I definitely try to figure that one out as well.
ReplyDeleteI went through this too, training my brain to go straight to the positive. I guess it just takes conscoius practice and persistence. I also realized people like being around positive people more than anything. I wanted to be someone people liked to be around. I am still overly sarcastic but I know when it's ok and when to tuck it away. I have my bad days...when they are bad, they are BAD, but most of the time I'm pretty positive now. Good luck, you will get there!
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