My grandma's memorial service was yesterday and you guys, it was bad. Like, laughably bad.
There was the minister who pronounced "peace" like "piss" and sang parts of the hymns with comical vibrato and forgot the words to other parts (even though he had a hymnbook right in front of him.) There was the 200-year old organ player who fell asleep in between songs and who played the wrong notes so often that the songs were unrecognizable. Seriously. He played Pachelbel's Canon in D which is like, the most recognizable song ever and I couldn't tell what it was without reading the program. There was the 30-minute long eulogy that my aunt delivered (the same aunt who prevented the memorial service from being on a weekend because it would interfere with her Christmas craft fair schedule) that covered - in great detail - the generation before my grandma but failed to mention, you know, her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Oh no wait, the eulogy just excluded my dad's children and grandchildren, not my aunt's child.
So yeah, the whole day was one big "wtf?" moment. But! After the service, after the church basement tea party, after getting stuck in a traffic jam for two hours - with both bladder and boobs threatening to burst - my family and I gathered at my parents' house and ate yummy food and remembered my gram. And it was good.
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At my grandpa's service, my uncle gave the eulogy. He told a story about my grandpa being in the war, including some part about syphillis. I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. Sometimes all you can do is laugh.
ReplyDeleteThe minister at my grandma's ceremony never mentioned me at all, my sister and 2 cousins yes but not me. Everyone was gobsmacked but how do you change something from beyond the grave?
ReplyDeleteOh, hugs to you, hunny bunny. Saying goodbye is always painful, and people do stupid things that make it worse.
ReplyDeleteAt my grandmother's funeral, the old Norwegian pastor began by saying, "Lillian knew she vass a sinner." Which was the only light moment for me of the whole thing. Family and food and nice memories are good.
My grandma's funeral was eerily similar. Only it was in a church so new and fancy that I had a hard time not openly resenting the clergy for taking all of my grandmother's money for no real reason. Anyway. The best part of the funeral for me was actually the day we planned it - it was me, my mom, my aunt, and her daughter, and the four of us had a better day together than we ever had. We reminisced, we laughed, and we healed. I'm very glad your family got a moment like that, too.
ReplyDeleteAt least there was the end part where you found some good. Wow, sounds like that funeral was a bit of a nightmare. I don't really recall my dad's funeral but thought it odd that we were having it in a church when my dad spent most of his life as an atheist. And at the grave a man in an orange jumpsuit dug the hole for my dad's box of ashes while we stood around. It was bizarre and he looked like an ex-convict.
ReplyDeleteawww.. I experienced a bad service before.. when they're bad, they're bad. Sorry for your loss. Saying goodbye is never easy.. but sounds like you have some wonderful memories to hold on to! <3
ReplyDeleteI've met your family, and I can picture you guys having a great time reminiscing.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss (and the lame service), but glad the day ended on a good note. :)
I'm so sorry for your loss and for your not so good funeral experience. At my Moms Uncles funeral my Dad had to read out the eulogy even though he had no connection to the family. The eulogy painted this guy out to be a saint even though he was far from it in real life. It was quite laughable to those who actually knew him.
ReplyDeletei'm still incredulous over those tweets weeks ago about the timing of this service. argh. sorry everything surrounding this was such a cluster.
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