Miniatures Disasters And Minor Catastrophes Bring Me To My Knees

My grandma's memorial service was yesterday and you guys, it was bad. Like, laughably bad.

There was the minister who pronounced "peace" like "piss" and sang parts of the hymns with comical vibrato and forgot the words to other parts (even though he had a hymnbook right in front of him.) There was the 200-year old organ player who fell asleep in between songs and who played the wrong notes so often that the songs were unrecognizable. Seriously. He played Pachelbel's Canon in D which is like, the most recognizable song ever and I couldn't tell what it was without reading the program. There was the 30-minute long eulogy that my aunt delivered (the same aunt who prevented the memorial service from being on a weekend because it would interfere with her Christmas craft fair schedule) that covered - in great detail - the generation before my grandma but failed to mention, you know, her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Oh no wait, the eulogy just excluded my dad's children and grandchildren, not my aunt's child.

So yeah, the whole day was one big "wtf?" moment. But! After the service, after the church basement tea party, after getting stuck in a traffic jam for two hours - with both bladder and boobs threatening to burst - my family and I gathered at my parents' house and ate yummy food and remembered my gram. And it was good.

Four For A Boy

Four months. He's added shrieks and squeals to his vocabulary. He's found his toes. He loves to make people laugh. He's a performer. He's my little ham. 

I Whip My Hair Back And Forth - Updated

I got a haircut fairly early in my pregnancy. And then I swore off haircuts completely because of all the smells. So many smells. By the time strong smells didn't make me want to die, I was too huge to enjoy a good shampoo / cut / dry so I decided to put it off until after the baby was born. Which, haha, was 16 weeks ago.

So! Today! Today I am getting a haircut. I just ... don't know what to do with my hair. It's likely been a year since my last cut. I have split ends like you wouldn't believe. I'm losing clumps of hair daily because it's not enough that having a baby made me flabby and insane, I'm also going bald. (Okay, not really bald. I'm told that the hair will stop falling out at such an alarming rate. I remain skeptical.)

I tried taking a picture to show you guys but the results were grim. Too grim to post on the internet. I feel bad enough about myself already, okay? So instead, I give you this:

This is childless, mortgage-less me. The me who used to spend $175 every three months getting highlights and low-lights and a stylish cut. The me who used to be 20lbs lighter than my current weight. The me who is actually in Mexico in this photo. So. Fuck that me. Right? But! That me has hair that is about the same length as the current me. (Though current me has hair that is much, much darker after a home-dye-job incident.)

So tell me - what would you do with my hair? I need to keep it long enough to pull up in a ponytail because Sir is a puller. I'm adverse to bangs because of the upkeep (I'm not going to lie - some days I'm working with third day hair.) And I need to keep it fairly simple because I'm not going to a fancy salon; I'm going to a neighbourhood joint that had a groupon this week ($20 haircut! What can go wrong?!)

*** Updated ***

Thanks for your comments / ideas! I really wanted to go with a bob but I've got partially grown out bangs to contend with. We chopped five inches off the bottom and layered it around my face to blend in the bangs. I'm really happy with it (I say on day one - talk to me after I wash it and attempt to get it this straight again.)

I've Got The Words In My Heart But Not In My Brain And Now I'm All Tongue Tied

One year ago today, I woke up and peed on a stick (well, four sticks of varying brands and formats) and our lives were changed forever. I'm tired and sometimes I am so anxious I want to scratch my way out of my own skin, but I am so happy with my dudes.

Come To Think Of It I'm The One Who's Letting You Down

The thing about going crazy is that once you're not crazy anymore, or at least not as crazy, you start to realize what a negligent asshole you've been. I have been so disconnected from my world. Well, my world outside of Twitter. Grady's demanding nursing schedule means that I spend a lot of time scrolling through Twitter on my iPhone. But still! Disconnected. 

I mean, some of it is to be expected. You have a baby and your life is turned upside down. You're not expected to reply to emails in a timely manner or remember birthdays in time to mail a card. But there comes a point when life returns to normal (or as normal as it can get) and you realize that everyone and everything kept keepin' on without you and you don't know how to insert yourself back into your own life. 

Life isn't normal. Not yet. But I'm getting there. I'm starting to feel more like myself. I feel like I'm getting my head back. Now I just need to figure out how to get my life back.

Gratuitous baby in teddy bear jacket picture!