Monday, 24 October 2011

And Sadness Is A Silent Right A Moth Is Not A Butterfly

I have good days and I have some not-so-good days and I have the occasional I-can't-breathe day but overall, things are improving. I'm happy. Even when I start to slide back into my anxiety, I'm happy. I couldn't say that a month ago.


There are so many things I want to talk about but I struggle to find the words. Someone recently said to me that the best parents are those without children. It makes me giggle but also cringe. Pre-Grady I was such a good parent. Full of "my child will never do this" and "my child will always do that." If there's one thing becoming a mother has taught me, it's that I may be playing a guessing game and fumbling my way through parenting, but so is everyone else. I'm learning to be more gentle on myself but at the same time, I'm learning to be more gentle on others. 


It's humbling, this parenting gig. Admitting that I know nothing. Trying to accept help from well-meaning people without feeling too defensive or judged. It's been rough but I still feel so lucky because reaching through my sleep-deprived haze are the chubbiest baby arms, ready to wrap themselves around my neck and make me feel like the most important person in the world. 



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8 comments:

  1. Anonymous24 October 2011 at 22:47

    He is so cute. For real. Glad to hear you're feeling a bit more like yourself!

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  2. Angella25 October 2011 at 06:20

    You sounds better, my friend, which makes me happy.

    Also? I CANNOT WAIT to hug you this weekend, and to smoosh your little dude. :)

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  3. Mary25 October 2011 at 08:08

    No parent is perfect. We're all just doing our best. The great thing is, they think we're the bees knees no matter what. :)

    Also, he is so adorable! Makes me want another one, like yesterday. Well, until I remember what sleepless nights were like.

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  4. Anonymous25 October 2011 at 13:40

    I'm so glad your days are starting to come around. Anxiety is a bitch for sure. But you're right, those chubby little arms and that adorable face make (I imagine) the lack of sleep sometimes well worth it. He's also quite the stylish little fella :)

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  5. Anonymous25 October 2011 at 15:02

    That kid has the coolest outfits. Awww. I'm glad you're doing better.

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  6. Alice26 October 2011 at 08:33

    those really are some awesome chubby arms. and thighs. and belly. I WANT TO ZERBERT HIM.

    also i'm glad things are getting better :)

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  7. Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks26 October 2011 at 12:11

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks26 October 2011 at 12:12

    I'm learning to be more gentle on myself but at the same time, I'm learning to be more gentle on others.

    THIS! I am a fairly opinionated person and parenthood hasn't changed that. But, I'm less judgmental of some people, particularly parents, and their decisions. We've all got to do what we can to get by!

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