Christmas is 12 days away and I am unable to muster an ounce of holiday spirit.
I tried. I baked (and ate copious amounts of) whipped shortbread. I sent Christmas cards. I ate my weight in miniature oranges. I even tried listening to Christmas music and I hate Christmas music (with the exception of Norah Jones and Willie Nelson's version of Baby it's Cold Outside. I don't care that it is the date rape Christmas carol, it's Willie fucking Nelson.)
Nothing is working, though. I remain listless and irritable.
I need a fast-acting dose of Christmas cheer. What works for you? I'll try anything (except egg nog. That shit is nasty.)